


Be My Little Baby

by TheQuietQuill



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Adoption, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Bottom Harry, F/M, Gay Sex, Graphic Description, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lirry - Freeform, Lots of Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Panic Attacks, Rimming, Same-Sex Marriage, Tears, Top Liam, a little bit of smut, only a little bit though, sorry if this makes you sad, very sad at times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 44,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5173532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQuietQuill/pseuds/TheQuietQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Maybe it’s not meant to be,” he dares and that hurts Liam more then everything they’re been through.                </p><p> Liam squeezes Harry’s shoulder, “Do you still want a child?” Harry sighs.    </p><p>“Li…”                </p><p> “Do you?” he urges, desperate to know.                  </p><p>Harry nods, “Of course I do.”                 </p><p>“Same for me,” Liam tells him, “Therefore, we’re meant to have a child somehow, someway, someday.” Harry picks his head up and rests his chest on Liam’s chest, right over his heart. His eyes are red and tired but there’s still fight left in them, Liam can see it.                </p><p>“Someday?” he asks again.                 </p><p>“Someday,” Liam confirms with a small smile and sweet peck to the lips. </p><p>Or: the one where Liam and Harry just want a child really bad and so far, their child hasn’t come along. But they know someday, they will have a child of their own. Perhaps someday is closer then they think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so excited to release part 1 of this fanfic! I've enjoyed writing this so much!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There are graphic, sad scenes particularity for a MINOR CHARACTER DEATH! so please be aware of that. There is slight mention of homophobia. There’s also a love scene too…
> 
> Also, the italicized sections are events that have taken place in the past and therefore, are in past tense! They will farther explain the story and had context to Liam and Harry’s past :)
> 
> Alright, now please read and enjoy! :)

Liam barely opens the door to their quant house before Harry’s pushing himself inside and running deep into the house. Liam sighs and closes the door and stays there for a second when his forehand against it with his fist clinched in anger and frustration. He knows he should be a good husband and go find Harry and comfort him but he just-he just needs a minute. He just needs sixty little seconds to himself to grasp the situation.

                They were so close this time. So, so close.

                And then, out of the blue, it fell through their fingers like it had so many times before.

                With a steady breath, Liam stands up from the door and straightens himself out again. His eyes are stinging and everything hurts so, so much he can hardly bare it. His lungs hurt, as if his body is refusing to do what it takes for him to live. Sometimes, Liam wonders if his body will just give up on him and shut down forever. He thinks it sounds appealing in that moment-to just not exist anymore.

                Everything within Liam is hurting.

                But he knows that Harry’s hurting too. And maybe that’s the root of all his pain.

                Liam begins his walk to the one place he knows where Harry is. Their house is nothing special, but it fits them. The family room has a wood burning fireplace and plastic tubs lines up against the wall full of toys that have never been played with. When Liam passes the galley kitchen, the corner of his eye catches a glimpse of the high chair tucked away in the corner next to the pantry-there just in case, but never used. Liam’s hand skims the bare walls of the hallway, perfect for picture frames to display their “family,” and he swallows thickly because nothing’s there. He remembers how much him and Harry fell in love with the ranch home when they first saw it and Harry’s exact words were, ‘ _this is the perfect starter home for our family_.’

                That was five years ago.

                And no child has ever played with their toys in the family room.

                No child as ever eaten cereal and fruit off the high chair in the kitchen.

                And no professional pictures of their perfect, complete family hangs in the hallway.

                Liam finds Harry sprawled out on the floor in the second bedroom. This room was decorated very deliberately in neutrals. Neither of them cared either way-they would love to have a perfectly handsome little boy or a beautiful little girl, either way they’d feel blessed. So the room is painted pale green and has white and grey accents because they’ve had this room ready for a long time. There’s a crib set under the window to the right, a rocking chair next to a small bookshelf to the left and a closet next to the door, full of clothes for both girls and boys of all ages that friends and family members have given to them over the years.

                The room’s frozen in time. Liam thinks he can see icicles hanging off the changing table.

                “Harry,” Liam sighs as he sinks to the floor. Harry sobs into the rug, one that is decorated with little zoo animals, and doesn’t respond to Liam. He crawls on his knees to Harry’s side and brushes the curls out of his face. Liam can’t stand to see his husband like this-eyes red and sad, hair and cheeks crusted with tears. He can’t count how many times he’s seen Harry this way.

                Liam wishes he could stop this and have control but that’s the thing-there is no control in these situations. It’s out of Liam’s hands and that’s what sucks the most.

                Harry shook his head into the rug, “I-I can’t believe it happened a-again!” His voice breaks at the end and Liam can’t stop his lips from trembling.

                “I know sweetheart,” Liam whispers soothingly. He leans down and kisses Harry’s hair. It smells like home, like Harry’s been using the same shampoo since they met at college. He knows Harry, through and through and he knows that this process of constant getting their hopes up for a kid and then denied over and over again is killing him.  

                Therefore, it’s killing Liam too.

                Harry takes in a shaky breath as more tears fall from his eyes, “I can’t believe s-she did that! S-She kept saying she would give h-her baby up for adoption. A-And we were t-there all night, Liam! We w-were there and then s-she just decided to break her p-promise.” Liam’s heart coils in his chest.

                They met Brittney through their adoption agent, Carol, three months before. Brittney was just a teenager and got pregnant with a child, she claimed, she wasn’t ready for yet. Harry and Liam thought she was an angel in oversized sweaters and teal blue extensions in her blonde hair because she chose them. There were three other couples to choose from and Brittney chose them. Liam and Harry couldn’t have been happier. Brittney didn’t want to know the sex of the baby, which Liam and Harry respected because they honestly didn’t care either way. Finally-FINALLY it looked like they were going to get there dream baby after all.

                But last night, a call came in at ten from Brittney’s parents. Brittney had gone into labor a couple of weeks early. It was crazy from then on-Harry spewed off things to Liam that they needed to bring to the hospital as he ran around looking for his various types of cameras to bring with them. The last thing Liam grabbed before head out the door was the car seat for their new baby.

                The labor was long and Liam and Harry, though not really religious, prayed almost the entire time. They kept thinking about the first baby they almost brought home and that only made them pray harder and longer. They just wanted a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes and the cutest little face ever. In the waiting room was also the rest of Brittney’s family, who didn’t look at all pleased that Liam and Harry were there. But they had every right to be there. That baby was theirs and it would be handed over to them once it was born.

                But, Brittney’s father came out into the waiting from with a stoic face around five in the morning. He sat across from them and in the dullest and normal voice Liam had ever heard, he told them Brittney was keeping the child. Liam’s heart sunk and Harry needed him to repeat that. When he did, saying that Brittney loved the baby and felt sorry but suddenly couldn’t dream of giving it up, Harry somehow remained calm as he asked what the gender of the baby was.

                “A b-boy,” Harry croaks out. He looks up at Liam with the most devastated look on his face, “we would’ve had a s-son. A p-perfect little boy to call our own.”

                Liam lies down beside Harry and pulls his husband in his arms. Harry softly weeps in his chest and Liam resorts to stroking his hair because he has no idea what to do and Harry likes having his hair played with, “I-I know, darling. I’m…I’m sure he would have looked right at home in that crib but,” he sighs, repeating the words he’s said too many times before, “It wasn’t meant to be.” Harry scoffs sourly.

                “It’s all because that child changed her mind at the last second,” he sneers sadly, “are you sure we can’t sue her?”

                That somehow makes Liam smile a bit, “No Harry. We’re not taking a seventeen year old girl to court to try and steal back the baby she promised us. That’s morally wrong and she’s the birth mother-she trumps us.”

                “We would have been such good parents…” Harry mumbles. Liam picks up Harry’s hand and kisses each finger tentatively.

                “We _will_ be good parents,” Liam corrects.

                Harry sighs tirelessly in Liam’s chest, “How can you always be so fucking optimistic?”

                “Because we’re meant to have a child, or two, or ten children if we’re blessed,” Liam assures firmly, “This is another setback but that’s okay. It sucks, yes but we’ll heal. We’ll wait a bit and try this all over again, okay?” Harry’s silent for some time but then he speaks up.

                “Maybe it’s not meant to be,” he dares and that hurts Liam more then everything they’re been through.

                Liam squeezes Harry’s shoulder, “Do you still want a child?” Harry sighs.

                “Li…”

                “Do you?” he urges, desperate to know.  

                Harry nods, “Of course I do.”

                “Same for me,” Liam tells him, “Therefore, we’re meant to have a child somehow, someway, someday.” Harry picks his head up and rests his chest on Liam’s chest, right over his heart. His eyes are red and tired but there’s still fight left in them, Liam can see it.

                “Someday?” he asks again.

                “Someday,” Liam confirms with a small smile and sweet peck to the lips.

                They fall asleep in _‘its’_ room, both dreaming of the same thing.

                Both hoping their dreams will come true.

                _Someday_.

~~~

                _The first one was named Noah._

_Liam and Harry were married for six months before they started talking adoption. To them, it was their first choice. Yes, their sisters were willing to donate eggs and even be surrogates for them, but that was too personal for them. All their sisters (Harry’s one and Liam’s two) were married and had families of their own or were just starting to have kids. They didn’t want to impose._

_Plus, there are children all over America that need a home, so they thought why couldn’t they be amazing parents for a child who really needed it._

_So they reached out to a local adoption agency and met Carol. Carol was (and still is) a gem. She explained all their options and the process of obtaining a child and what all that entails. She was like another mother figure to the two of them. Carol was sweet and kind and promised to do everything she could to find them a child._

_After a month, Carol called to tell them there was a pregnant woman looking to give her child up for adoption. The woman’s name was Tina and was a victim of rape who got pregnant from her attacker.  Carol explained to them the steps of obtaining a child this way and yet it was rather cut and dry-many couples presented themselves to her and the woman chose one couple. Harry and Liam were thrilled that Tina was willing to give them her baby, and knew that they would love him no matter what._

_When they met Tina five months into her pregnancy, she already new her baby would be a boy. Liam and Harry were thrilled and went out and got onesies and a crib and a car seat. They got toys and books from their families and their parents gashed about being grandparents again._

_Everything was picture perfect._

_Until it wasn’t._

_Tina went in for her thirty-six week check-up with Liam and Harry in toe. They had gone to many appointments with her before and every time they were told the baby was healthy and thriving. Harry hung up sonograms of their soon to be son on the fridge and Liam even had one in his office at work. Both were so excited to have this precious child in their lives. Harry had babble on to anyone with ears about how he’d read poetry to their son and teach him how to play the piano while Liam daydreamed about playing soccer with his son and hang up his perfectly imperfect doodles in his office._

_Those dreams were shattered._

_Liam could tell by the look on the doctor’s face as she checked for the baby’s heartbeat. Her face fell as she moved the wand around Tina’s belly desperately. Liam glanced over to Harry, who was frowning and looked like a deer in headlights. Liam smiled with false assurance at his husband and took his hand in his and squeezed it until Harry smiled tightly. The doctor switched to the ultra sound machine and the picture of their son on the screen was not the same as before. Before Liam and Harry cried as they watched their son move inside the womb._

_That day, their son was still, completely._

_“What do you mean he’s gone?” Harry asked somberly, his eyes welling up with tears. Liam rubbed his hand on Harry’s back as his other hand covered his mouth. He feared he’d throw up or scream until he was blue in the face if his hand wasn’t there._

_The doctor shrugged lamely, her face full of empathy, “These things just happen sometimes and we don’t know why they do. I’m so sorry.”_

_Harry shook his head dumbly, his hand holding Tina’s as the woman wept in the examine chair, “No, it can’t-the baby was healthy this whole time. Tina ate all the vitamins and stayed away from caffeine and fish and-no, I-I don’t understand. I-are you sure? This has to be a mistake.” Liam looked up at the ceiling as he tried to wrap his head around this. How was he going to tell his family this? How would he and Harry get through this? How could something so good become so horrible in an instant?_

_“There’s no heartbeat,” the doctor told them again. A sob fell from Harry’s lips and Liam pulled him in for and let his husband sob on his shoulder, “And there’s no movement in the sonogram. He’s gone.”_

_The next day, Liam and Harry were in the delivery room with Tina as she gave birth to the still born baby boy. They had dreamed of this day for so long, but it was a nightmare. They cried under their medical masks as Tina pushed. After an hour of labor, the boy came out with silence-no cry, no joyous exclamations, just heartache. Liam cut the cord and the nurses cleaned off the limp child. Harry couldn’t hold him, he just couldn’t. And Tina decided long before that day that she didn’t want to see the child after she gave birth to him._

_But Liam…God, he kept thinking how babies were meant to be held. He dreamt about cuddling with him after he was born. Why should have be any different now that his son was deceased? Liam felt that it was the least he could do for his son, he deserved to be cradled._

_They handed Liam his son, all clean and motionless. Liam sat on a bench in the side of the room and held him to his chest. Harry decided to join Liam and sat beside him and his hand was a reassuring presence on Liam’s leg. Liam hummed lullabies and spoke about how it was okay. He talked to the baby about Harry and how wonderful he is and how he would have been lucky to have Harry as a father. He told their son about the nursery he would never get to live in. Liam told him he loved him dearly and Harry echoed those same words through shaky sobs._

_They named him Noah, which means rest or peace._

_And Liam hoped that where Noah was, he hoped that his son was at peace._

~~~

                Liam learned over the years that him and Harry cope differently.

                Liam needs a routine. He needs to have a normal track of his and follows it religiously. He usually is like this day to day, but it seems to amp up after an adoption fell through. He forces himself to get up and make the forty minute drive to downtown Chicago and does what he needs to do. He’s the head financial advisor for a thriving local business. He works with numbers all day and budgets things-it’s oddly relaxing and it eases him when the final number is balanced.

                After a long day of work and an even longer (but familiar) commute home, Liam walks into his front door and spends the rest of the day with his incredible husband. On the weekends, they’ll usually stay in and Liam will try his best to cuddle with Harry and be with him all day.

                Harry, though, copes differently. He can’t try and ignore another failed adoption like Liam attempts to. Instead, he wallows in it-gets sucked into it completely. He barely eats, barely sleeps, and goes days without bathing. Even in these times, Harry, who is a writer and has written two best selling novels, can’t seem to care about writing. That always takes Liam by surprise. He knows Harry can make it half a day without food or go a week without a shower. But Harry writes every day, as little as one hundred words to as much as ten thousand words, he writes. He needs to do that to survive.

                But in times like these, Harry can barely pick up a pencil and write the grocery list.

                Liam isn’t surprised when he comes home three days after the incident and finds Harry in the family room. Everything inside him kinda denigrates when he sees Harry sitting in front of the boxes of toys they’ve collected over the years. He toes off his loafers and watches his husband carefully pick through the toy chest. Harry’s tired, hazy eyes study a plastic airplane and then a little doll and then a car. He blinks at each toy, then drops it back in the box and picks out another toy.

                Liam comes up behind him and sits down behind him. Harry’s holding up a toy zebra and barely jolts when Liam wraps his arms around his torso. He kisses Harry’s cheek, which is coated in a light colored, barely there stubble.

                “Hello darling,” Liam murmurs into his skin. Harry nuzzles back into Liam’s chest and sighs. He doesn’t say anything and Liam’s not that surprised. When he gets in these states, Harry can go more then a day without talking to Liam. And yeah it scares Liam a lot, but he knows most of the time to leave Harry alone in times. He knows Harry just needs to heal.

                But…so does Liam. And Liam, when he’s down, needs affection. He needs someone to hold and care for, someone that makes him feel like he’s useful. Like he’s wanted.

                So he knows it’s a bad idea but Liam doesn’t stop himself when he starts to nibble on Harry’s earlobe. He slips his hand under the hem of Harry’s oversized grey knit sweater and drags it along his lowers torso. Harry’s skin is always flaming hot. It’s welcome heat to his hand. His pinky grazes over the band of his boxers and Liam lets his fingers flirt with it.

                But almost instantly, Harry squirms away from his touch, “Li…no,” he whispers gloomy.

                “Babe,” Liam sighs. He runs his other hand in his husband’s hair. It’s greasy and barely resembles the silky consistency it usually has, “Let me take care of you darling. I can get carry-out from that Italian restaurant you like and we can eat in. Maybe we could set up some candles in our bathroom and take a long, bubble bath, hm? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

                Harry only shrugs at that. Liam frowns.

                “Babe, we need to get through this,” he says softly, then tentatively adds, “together.”

                Harry shakes his head, “You can’t make this all go away with lasagna and bubble baths,” he says hotly.

                “It might help you take your mind off things,” Liam tries to reason. He tries to reach around and touch Harry’s hips. But Harry hits his hands harshly and pushes Liam away. He falls back on the floor, more shocked than hurt.

                “Just leave me alone, Liam!” Harry yells viciously. In the five years they’ve been married, Harry has never yelled at Liam like that. It’s just, it’s bad enough that their world has been crumbling. And sometimes, it feels like they’re crumbling too.

                Wordlessly, Liam gets up to his feet and doesn’t look at Harry as he walks down the hall to their bedroom. He shuts the door slowly behind him because Harry’s not running after him, at least not yet. Liam’s fine, physically that is. He’s an oak in an earthquake. Outwardly, Liam’s strong and sturdy. But underneath, in the roots, he quivers and trembles and fears he might be uprooted.

                Liam gets Harry’s upset, but so is Liam. Liam wants to be a dad just as much as Harry. But Liam thinks sourly, jealously that he can not be like Harry in these times. He can’t cave into the quake, he can’t crumble until he’s unrecognizable. One of them has to be in tacked no matter how hard it is. One of them has to be an oak tree.

                And Liam was casted into that position without an election.

                “Li?” Liam blinks and looks up at the door. Harry timidly stands in the threshold-his large sweater hanging off one shoulder and only clad in black boxers besides that. Liam’s heart clinches in his chest at the worried look on his face. He hates seeing his wonderful, gorgeous husband in such a state.

                Harry walks up to Liam, who’s standing at the foot of their bed. He looks down at his feet and shakes his head, lips quivering, “I-I…let me take c-care of you.”  He sniffs as he reaches out for Liam’s belt, his hair covering his face like a cave behind a waterfall.

                “Harry,” Liam chides softly, his hand loosely gripping Harry’s wrists. Harry shakes his head and tries to unbuckle his belt again.

                “You want i-it,” Harry reasons lamely, “I know you do. Just-let me suck you off. I-I know you want it.”

                Liam takes hold of Harry’s hand more tightly. He lifts them up so that Harry is forced to look at him. Their eyes are connected when Liam states, “Not like this. Not when you don’t want it. Not when you- _we_ are like this, babe.” Harry’s lips wobble and tears pour down each cheek.

                “I-I don’t know how t-to say I’m s-sorry,” he croaks out, “I-I was so r-rude…Let me make it up to y-you. H-How do I make it up to you?” Liam frowns. He lets go of Harry’s hands and strokes his fingers in Harry’s hair.

                “Let me take care of you darling,” Liam states, “We…don’t have to do anything sexual. But-just, let me know when you’re extra sad. Let me know so I can take care of you and make you feel better. Okay? Just don’t shut me out like you do sometimes because that’s the worse,” He’s shaking as he cups Harry’s face lovingly, “you’re my best friend, my lover. I…I can handle anything in the world. I can barely handle losing these children we planned to adopt. But I can’t-absolutely cannot handle losing you, too.”

                Harry lets out a pained sob, “Oh Liam,” he wraps his arms around his husband and cries into Liam’s collarbone. Liam hugs him close to his body, his own eyes leaking with tears. He holds onto him like Harry’s his anchor, because he is his anchor. He’s his rock. Harry’s smile is the only reason why he goes on and continues to try and find the child meant for them because it’s so, so hard.

                But it’ll be worth it, one day, to see his beloved husband holding a beautiful boy or girl in his arms. Liam’s shaky lips draw up a smile at the mental image and how much he longs for it. How much he wishes his husband was hugging their child right now, instead of crying over it.

                _Someday_ , Liam tells himself. _Someday._

~~~

                _Her name was Chloe._

_They first met her when Liam and Harry were married for almost two years. It was also a few months after Noah had died and with tender hearts, they went to an adoption agency in South Illinois at Carol’s suggestion. Even she had high hopes that they’d bring home this little girl, so to Liam, it was worth the three hour drive in the middle of winter to visit her._

_And Chloe was, and probably still is, a stunning little girl. She had pale skin and a bright blonde hair and the cutest little nose and pudgy cheeks. Harry and Liam were in love at first sight. They were revived by her-seeing Chloe gave them new hope. Liam never told Harry this, but he saw a future in the little girl’s eyes. He could picture Chloe in their house, playing in their yard and these images were precious._

_Chloe’s story was this: her father abandoned her mother shortly after Chloe was born. The mother began addicted to drugs after he left. She was arrested and put on trial for distributing illegal drugs. A separate trial deemed that the mother was unfit for the child and when no one of her family was there, the court had the child go into foster care when she was eighteen months old._

_Harry and Liam met her when she just turned two. They fell in love with her and Chloe seemed keen on them too. She hugged them plenty of times during their visit and laughed hard at the faces Harry pulled. All Liam and Harry had to do was exchange a quick, soft look and a nod as they played with Chloe to know that they were going to adopt her._

_But just as things were starting to get into motion; just as Harry had finished painting Chloe’s name in wooden letters in bright colors, Carol called. Liam knew, instantly by the tone in her voice, that it wasn’t good news. And it wasn’t. Chloe’s biological grandparents had filed for custody of her. And since Harry and Liam were not legally or genetically bound to her, a judge ruled in favor of the grandparents._

_Harry threw the letters he worked on into the trash and didn’t leave their room for two days._

_Liam would get to work early so he could cry in the carpark for a week straight._

~~~

                Harry always perks up whenever his family comes around.

                He has always had a close relationship with his mother. Anne still dotes on Harry, even if his nearing thirty. They get together every so often to do brunch dates on Sundays or Harry will invite her over sometimes for dinner during the week. Liam doesn’t mind. He loves Anne and he himself is a mother’s boy at heart. He wishes he could see his own mom more, but since his dad’s retirement, the two moved to South Carolina to be close to Myrtle Beach, their favorite spot.

                But he has Anne and Harry’s step father, Robin, and his biological father Desmond, whenever he’s in down. Plus, Gemma lives close by. Harry and Gemma have always been like twins-it’s scary sometimes how connected they are. But Gemma’s married and works and she’s currently pregnant with her and her husband Mark’s second child (a boy). Their first child, Cybil, is three and keeps them busy. So lately, Gemma hasn’t been around and Anna and Robin were out of town when they got news that Brittney was keeping the baby.

                But as soon as she could Anne was at Liam and Harry’s house, tending to both of them.

                “Are you sure you’re okay, Liam dear?” Anne asks, her eyes questioning him too. Harry, finally, was sleeping in their room. Somehow, Anne coxed him to sleep and Harry, like a son obeying his mother, dozed off after not getting any kind of sleep for a day. Liam can’t stop thanking Anne, but he also doesn’t appreciate her asking about him.

                Liam sighs as he dries off a plate with a dish towel, “I’m fine, Anne. Thank you for asking.” Anne farer trains her eyes on him as she stirs the pot of fresh tomato soup (Harry’s favorite) that she’s making for her son.

                “I don’t believe you,” Anne states passively, “I can tell when you’re lying Liam Payne-I’ve known you for nearly ten years,” she steps away from the stove and glares Liam down softly, “Don’t make me call Karen.”

                Liam almost shudders, “Please don’t,” he half begs. Anne nibbles her lips and looks as if her mind is fighting his request. But she nods eventually and heads over to the fridge. Liam sees her pull out a half bottle of red wine. He wordlessly opens a cabinet and pulls out two glasses.

                Two hours later, Liam’s holding back tears as the two glasses of wine he’s had do the talking for him. He goes over everything-how he’s scared the child they dreamed of and prayed for isn’t out there; how he worries about Harry at all hours of the day. Everything, he tells Anne everything and the woman just hugs Liam every now and then and says the right things-things that drive the fear out of Liam’s mind for a few seconds.

                “Have you guys reconsidered getting a surrogate?” Anne asks softly. Liam guides his pointer finger on the steam of his wine glass, and shakes his head.

                “Harry wouldn’t agree to it,” Liam states, “Not, um-since what happened…”      

                Anne curls her lips in and nods pensively, “Ah, yes well. I thought you guys might have changed your minds. You’ve tried multiple adoptions and only one surrogate, and that was years ago. I thought you two would give it a second chance.” Liam sighs slowly.

                “At this stage in the game,” he begins, “I’d take a child any way, any how. I’ll take in an alien baby if it felt right.” Anne scoffs at that, but it sounds more sad that jovial. She takes Liam’s hand and squeezes it.

                “My son is strong,” Anne declare surely, “You both have been in some rough patches but you’ve dug your way out of them. Harry will find his strength-he won’t be hurting as much and he’ll be able to live and function normally. Just give him time Liam.”

                Liam nods with a tight face, “I will Anne. He has all the time in the world as far as I’m concerned.” Anne smiles sweetly at that.

                “And one day, you won’t have to be so strong,” she tells him, “you won’t have to be a suit and armor because all of your battles would have been dealt with and won. I believe with all my heart that you and Harry are meant to be parents to a child that needs you, that was made for you.”

                Liam’s got a lump in his throat so he can only hug Anne in response. She rubs his back soothingly and thanks heaven that he has amazing in-laws that love him.

                “May I join?” a sleepy voice comes from the doorway. Liam opens his eyes to find his husband standing there with a tiny smile on his lips. Harry has always been stunning, but Liam loves it when Harry awakes from a deep slumber. His eyes refreshed, his hair messy, his limbs relaxed.

                Liam will take Harry any way he can, too.

                Anne stands up first and goes straight for the stove, “Harry are you hungry, love? I made tomato soup.” Harry nods as he sits beside Liam. He reaches out cautiously and grabs Liam’s hand.

                “That sounds great mom. Smells amazing,” he compliments while smirking at Liam. Liam rubs his shoulder and closely eyes his husband.

                “How are you baby?” he asks carefully. Harry glances down at the table and smiles to himself.

                “Better,” he states, “I’m getting better.”

                And if Harry’s getting better, maybe things for the two of them will start getting better.

~~~

                _Her name was Sophia._

_Liam knew her back in high school. She had an obvious crush on him but Liam was eighty percent sure he was gay. (When he met Harry in college, that jumped up to one hundred percent indefinitely). Anyway, the two became close but after high school, Sophia went to college in California while Liam went to a college in Chicago._

_Liam hadn’t spoken to Sophia in years but he surprisingly ran into her at a charity event his office was sponsoring in Downtown Chicago a couple of years prier. She came up to Liam with a wide smile and a friendly hug, stating how happy she was to see him. Liam proudly introduced her to Harry with crinkly eyes and a big grin and was pleased to see that the two got on so well._

_Sophia told Liam that was would be staying in Chicago for a year for her work. Harry, without much thought, invited her over to their house the next night for dinner. It took a bit of coaxing out of her, but eventually Sophia agreed to have dinner at seven at the Payne household._

_It was a lovely evening, and Liam loved going down memory lane with Sophia and Harry got even more of a kick out the stories she told of Liam before Harry had met him. Harry was fascinated by Sophia, who ended up becoming a traveling occupational therapist for companies. She went wherever the companies are and worked with the employees to boast moral in the workplace and then would go off to the next city to the next company that needed her._

_“That’s amazing,” Harry awed over his third glass of wine. Sophia giggled into her wine glass._

_“Toronto was nice, yes,” she mused, “but I did miss Chicago a lot. It’s good to be back home.”_

_Liam set his glass on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch. Harry instantly snuggled to his side, “That’s amazing, Sophs. You always said you wanted to travel a lot and you seem like you’re good at your job.” Sophia looked over the happy couple before settling her bright hazel eyes on Liam._

_“Yes, well, all this traveling is cool but I haven’t had time to settle down with anyone like you have Liam,” she quickly glanced over to Harry, “Harry’s a doll, Li. Found yourself a true keeper there. Have you two thought about having kids?”_

_And Harry broke out in tears. Liam looked sheepishly at Sophia who looked guilty and apologetic as he comforted his husband. He told Sophia about their struggles of adoption as Harry cried in his chest. It was painful having to retell their nightmarish stories to Sophia, a person who had no idea what they had gone through. Liam had to swallow down lumps in his throats just to get through the stories of Noah and Chloe._

_“God, I’m so sorry,” Sophia breathed out as she handed Liam a couple of tissues. Liam took them and Harry looked up at Liam as he dabbed away the tears from his cheeks. Liam could feel Sophia’s stare on him. Harry turned to her with eyes stained red._

_“It’s okay, Sophia, you didn’t know,” the woman shook her head._

_“It’s not right though. Any child would be lucky to have you as parents,” she smiled softly at them and took Harry’s hand._

_“Thanks for saying that, Sophs,” Harry sniffed. Liam smiled into Harry’s scalp as he kissed him._

_Sophia was still eyeing Liam closely, “How you guys thought of getting a surrogate?” Harry sat up and kissed Liam quickly before sighing at Sophia._

_“Yes, well. I don’t think we’re gonna do it. Where would we find someone? We don’t feel comfortable with it being a complete stranger and our sisters have their own lives-we don’t want to interrupt their lives.”_

_“I’ll do it.”_

_Liam’s heart for the first time in months fluttered with hope. Harry’s mouth went slack at Sophia’s response, “What?” he asked her._

_Sophia shrugged carelessly, “I’ll carry a baby for you guys.” Harry beamed brightly at that, clearly excited. But Liam was cautious._

_“Are you sure?” he questioned her closely, voice stunned. Sophia stared intensely at him._

_“You want this,” she said, and then quickly added, “you both want this. I can give you guys a baby. You deserve this.”_

_Liam found it strange that Sophia was staring at him, only him, when she said that. But Harry squealed the next second and barreled into his side and hugged him happily. And Liam broke out of the random thought and began to think about what that meant. He was finally going to be a father. He was scared as Hell that Sophia would have a miscarriage but it was another chance._

_And Harry and Liam were both willing to take that chance again._

~~~

                “Thank you again, H and Li,” Gemma sighs as Cybil tugs at her hand. The mother smiles as she bends down to pick up her little girl and Harry cries out in horror.

                “Gems, you know you can’t pick up things heavier than twenty pounds,” he scolds her lightly. Liam snickers at his sister-in-law’s eye roll.

                “Harry, dear. Mothers have been picking up their children off the ground since the beginning of time-even pregnant ones,” she hoisted little Cybil up in her arms, “and besides, Cybs is only twenty-three pounds. I’ll be fine, pregnancy police.”

                Harry huffed, “Okay,” he stares at his older sister, his gaze softer, “How are you feeling?”

                “Okay,” Gemma admits as she moves into the family room. An hour earlier, Liam and Harry were in the very room with their niece Cybil, playing all sorts of games and zillions of toys scattered on the floor. Now, however, the room is spotless thanks to Liam and Harry’s tag team efforts for Harry fed Cybil some Cheerio’s and berries for afternoon her snack while Liam cleaned Gemma’s family room.

                Gemma sets Cybil down on the couch and places her current favorite book on her lap, “Thanks again for watching her, guys. Mama needed a day out with the girls.”

                “It’s fine,” Liam insists, “Cybil was an angel,” he tells her and Gemma scoffs.

                “No, she was probably a tyrant and wore you two out,” she laughs and leans in to kiss Cybil’s nose, “But thanks for attempting to lie to me.”

                Harry shakes his head, “Honestly, she wasn’t _that_ bad.” _Harry: The Oblivious Uncle that believes his precious niece could do no wrong._

                “Well, you two spent all day with Cybil. You must be tried, so I won’t force you two to stay here any longer,” Gemma turns to the men, “you two should go home and get some rest. Mark will be home soon and I think Cybs and I will just watch a movie until then.”

                “Are you sure?” Liam asks, “We can help you with dinner or something.”

                But Gemma shakes her head, “I talked Mark into bringing home some Indian takeout. I’ve been craving it all day- _he’s_ been craving it all day.” She laughs down at her belly, her hand rubbing circles over it. Gemma is six months pregnant and glowing.

                “If you’re sure…” Harry says uneasily. Gemma laughs at her little brother.

                “You two deserve a night out,” she bluntly states and glares at Liam playfully, “When was the last time you wine and dined my baby brother, Liam?”

                Liam freezes. It’s not like Liam doesn’t want to take his husband out and show him off on his arm and laugh over red wine and overly priced ribeye. When times are good and they’re both in a good place, every Saturday night was date night in the Payne house. It’s just, Harry and Liam are both still healing. It’s been a month since the whole “Brittney’s betrayal,” incident (Harry’s words, but Liam fully agrees with the term). Harry just started getting back into a normal routine-eating, working out and writing. Liam is so proud of him, he just doesn’t want to wear him out.

                But Harry giggles and lightly pushes at Liam’s shoulder, “Yeah, Li,” he’s smiling as he speaks, “when are you gonna woo me again? You know, marriage can get dull if you don’t spice things up.” It’s such a Harry response, and one that Liam wasn’t expecting at all. He’s laugh is stunned and genuine.

                “I’ll take you wherever you want to go, babe,” Liam promises him before he kisses him lightly on his cheek. Harry blushes beautifully.

                “Unca ‘arry?” Little Cybil finally speaks up from the couch. She’s tired, Liam can tell. She chased Harry around the backyard for over an hour and didn’t take her nap because she was happy her uncles were there. She gets quite when she’s sleepy; her amber eyes droop at the corners and her tiny hands rub at them when she’s tired. But God, Cybil is just the cutest niece an uncle could ask for.

                Harry kneels down to her level, his smile bright, “Yes, itty bitty Cybi?” The child pouts at the nick name.

                “I’m not itty bitty,” she insists sourly. Gemma gasps.

                “Cybil Rose Harrison!” she sighs, turning to her brother and Liam, “I’m sorry. Cybil’s been acting up lately. She’s so sassy.”

                Harry laughs, “Just like you were when you were a kid,” he comments. Gemma sticks her tongue out at him and Liam laughs heartedly. Harry focuses back on his niece, “I’m sorry Cybil. It was silly of me to think you’re little when you’re clearly not. Anyway, what’s up, hun?”

                Cybil reaches out her chubby arms towards Harry. He seems to understand what the girl wants him to do because he moves his face closer to hers. The child cups her uncle’s face and kisses him on the nose.

                “Aw,” Liam coos because damn it was precious. Kids adore Harry and they always have. It angers Liam that they don’t have their own child yet for Harry to adore.

                Someday.

                Harry leans back and smiles, “Thanks Cybs. I love ya.”

                “Love you too, unca Ha,” Cybil looks up to Liam with wide eyes, “You too, unca Lee-Lee.” Liam knows he’s a sap and shouldn’t get emotional over a three year old’s declaration of love for him. But the past month had been utter shit and needed that little reminder that he’s indeed loved.

                A half hour later, Liam’s staring down the road ahead of him as Harry looks out the passenger window beside him. Liam thinks back on the day; how him and Harry are just a natural team and work together effortlessly. Liam tends to be a bit more firm with kids when he needs to be (just as his older nieces and nephews on his side of the family), but Harry is there to check on a child’s needs. He can be so gentle with them, but knows when and how to tell a child off for misbehaving. They are a dynamic duo, it’s just for a long time, it hasn’t felt right as a duo anymore. They want anyone member on their team.

                “Do you think I should call Carol and set up another appointment?” Liam asks, though it’s almost as if he’s saying: ‘ _are you well enough for us to start looking for another child to adopt yet?_ ’ Liam will wait for however long Harry needs. But Liam can’t help but feel like their child is out there, waiting for them in an overrun orphanage or foster home, a temporary home. Liam just wants to find the kid meant for them and take him or her home, their home-the house that’s been ready for their child for five years.

                Liam’s done with waiting, but if Harry needs time he’ll find all the time in the world.

                Harry’s quiet for a bit before he speaks up, “Not yet, no,” he mumbles unsurely. Liam sighs and reaches over to take Harry’s hand, “I’m sorry.”

                “Don’t be,” Liam tells him, “I’ll wait forever for our kid to come along.” Harry’s scoff is bitter and small.

                “We’ve already waited forever, haven’t we?”

                Liam smiles sadly, “Yeah, I guess we have,” he clicks his tongue, “I guess I’ll wait forever and a half to find our little one to come along.” Harry squeezes Liam’s hand tightly.

                “How can you be so optimistic about all this?” Harry asks him quietly, “I-God, I feel like every time adoptions fall through, I lose a piece of myself.”

                It’s not the first time that Harry tells Liam this or something similar to it. But is sure breaks his heart each time.

                “It’s okay if that happens,” Liam tells him, “I’ll be here to keep you whole.”

                When Liam looks over at Harry quickly, Harry’s smirking softly, “God, you’re amazing.” Liam smiles and brings Harry’s hand to his lips and kisses his palm.

                “You’re amazing too, dear,” Harry whispers, “sorry I don’t tell you that enough.”

                Liam swallows the lump in his throat, his chest tightens at the sincerity in his husband’s voice, “It’s nothing Haz.”

                “No,” Harry whispers and squeezes Liam’s hand, “it’s everything.”

                Liam can’t help it when his lip quakes a little bit and his heart swells and contrast all at the same time. Harry is his soulmate, his best friend and without a doubt the most beautiful person he knows. And to know that Harry feels so strongly about him makes Liam feel like he’s on top of the world.

                Later on when they’re home, Harry eats a bit more of his dinner and he’s the one who suggest they take a bath together. Nothing sexual happens, but Liam gets to lather his gorgeous naked husband in peach soap. Harry is all giggly and relaxed in his arms and Harry washes his hair and they make out in the tub until the water is cold. And once they’re toweled off, Liam sleeps in their warm bed with his boy in his arms.

                And he drifts off to sleep thinking that for right now, it’s okay if it’s just the two of them.

~~~

                _Liam found himself two weeks after that Sophia’s drunken surrogacy promise in a doctor’s office. Liam was sat in the middle, with Harry to his left and Sophia to his right. On the drive over, Sophia was oddly tense and quiet but Liam didn’t question her about it, partly because he was so excited about seeing the doctor to get the process started and to learn all about their options._

_“So,” the doctor, Dr. Piper, spoke up from the other side of his desk, smiling at the three of them, “What brings you here, Mr. and Mr. Payne and, Mrs. um-” the doctor stopped to look through his file. Sophia timidly spoke up._

_“Miss. Smith,” she finished for him, voice tense. Liam looked over and frowned. Sophia’s leg was jumpy and her eyes held a blank stare to them. Liam thought maybe she was tired or something._

_“Right, yes, sorry,” the doctor babbled. He was an older gentleman, which eased Liam’s mind. He seemed to have a lot of knowledge in the surrogacy realm; Harry did plenty of research beforehand and picked out a great doctor, “So, tell me Mr. and Mr. Payne-why are you considering surrogacy?”_

_Harry sat up in his seat and looked unsure, “Um, well. Liam and I have tried to adopt a couple of times and both times it, uh, fell through,” he stopped and smiled at Sophia, “Sophia was Liam’s friend in high school and they reconnected. When she heard about our issues adopting, she volunteered to be our surrogate. And, this is just so unbelievable. I can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing for us, Sophia.”_

_Harry’s eyes were shining as he finished his speech. Liam smiled lovingly at his husband and reached over Sophia to hold his hand. Liam noticed Sophia’s eyes were deadlock on their joint hands in front of her. Liam didn’t know what to think._

_“How wonderful,” Dr. Piper exclaimed as his aged eyes scanned over them, “Well surrogacy is a complex process. Here is a booklet for each of you to look at as I explain everything involved with surrogacy.”_

_For the next forty-five minutes, the doctor went over every little tidbit about surrogacy. Liam knew the some of what was involved-you take sperm and an egg, mix it up in a lab and plant it inside a willing surrogate. But there was so much more involved then Liam could ever imagine. For one thing, it was more expensive than adoption and it would be Liam and Harry’s responsibility to pay for Sophia’s medical bills and prenatal and postnatal care. Liam and Harry shared a nervous glance at the estimated amount they would spend. Harry wrote a mystery novel the year before and was very successful. And Liam was a penny-pincher and saved money for years. He knew he would probably have to dip into their emergency savings, but it’d be worth it to have a child of their own._

_“Now,” the doctor sighed, looking over at Liam and Harry, “Have you two decided who will father the child? And would we use Sophia’s eggs or another woman’s?”_

_Liam frowned at the question, “Oh, well um. We haven’t really thought of that…” he stated sheepishly._

_“Actually, I um,” Harry spoke up and looked over at his husband with a dopey smile, “I asked Gemma if she would donate some of her eggs and she said yes.” It took Liam a second to realize what Harry was saying. An expression of awe and shook took over Liam’s face and Harry giggled happily at the sight of it._

_“You want…you want me to father our baby?” Harry nodded, tears brimming on his eyes._

_“Absolutely,” he said, “I couldn’t have asked for a better partner, Liam. You’re sweet and kind and you’ll make a wonderful dad. I want, God. I want you to be the father of our baby. Nothing would make me happier.”_

_Liam’s lips wobbled, “Oh Haz.” Liam reached over and kissed Harry’s knuckles, “I love you,” he told him earnestly. Harry’s smile was full of beaming white teeth and dimples._

_“I love you too, babe.”_

_The doctor’s voice was full of concern as he spoke out, “Miss. Smith, are you okay?”_

_Liam looked at Sophia for the first time since the appointment began. Her face was pale, her eyes wide. Liam felt his chest twist at the sight Sophia shaking her head ‘no.’_

_“I-I,” she stuttered, “Fuck, I can’t do this.”_

_By the time Liam realized what Sophia was saying she had bolted out of the room. Harry was half standing up, looking scared and confused at the door. Liam sat in his chair, stunned as he stared at the door._

_“What happened?” Harry asked Liam, voice so soft it nearly broke three times as he spoke. Liam pasted on a fake smile._

_“I’m sure everything’s fine,” he insisted lamely as he stood up, “I’ll go check on Sophia, okay? I think she’s just a little bit overwhelmed.” He hoped to God his panic wasn’t showing. Harry smiled weakly and nodded and Liam left the room with a swift kiss to Harry’s cheek._

_Liam found Sophia in the parking lot, briskly walking towards her car. He got scared at the sight, at the idea of Sophia leaving and never coming back._

_“Sophs!” He yelled out to her as he caught up with her, “what’s wrong?”_

_Sophia stopped and turned around, tears mixed with her mascara were running down her face, “I can’t do this, Liam. I-I’m sorry, but I-I can’t.” Liam’s lungs deflated, his throat caved in and his heart, his heart dropped to his stomach._

_“What?” he stuttered, “I-I don’t understand, you promised us. You wanted to do this. What’s changed?” Sophia helplessly looked up at him, her lips trembling fiercely._

_“I’m in love with y-you,” she mumbled ashamedly._

_Liam blinked, dumbfounded, “What?” Sophia scoffed and shook her head as she looked away._

_“You knew I liked you in high school,” she stated surely, “God, I was a fool back then-I knew you weren’t entirely straight but it wasn’t any of my business to say anything about it and I,” she sighed weakly, newly formed tears shining in her eyes, “And I s-so desperately hoped you would look at me one day and realized you loved me too. I was…so sure that we were p-perfect for each other.”_

_“Sophs,” he breathed out, shaking his head, “I didn’t know I swear-” Sophia blinked and more tears poured out of her eyes._

_“That m-makes it so much worse…” she took in a shaky breath, “we graduated and you never made your move and I was devastated, Liam! I was so happy to move away from here and go to California for college and I-I just wanted to forget you so much.”_

_Liam closed his eyes and dropped his head, his shoulders slumming in defeat. Yeah, he knew that Sophia liked him more than just a friend back then but he had no fucking clue she loved him. Liam briefly thought that even if he knew Sophia felt that way towards him, it wouldn’t have changed a thing because Liam didn’t feel that way towards her, he never did. Sophia was a friend to him and nothing more._

_“But the thing is,” Sophia whispered once more, her smile dreadfully sad, “I wasn’t able to forget about you. I would see or hear things every day that reminded me of you and random memories of your laugh or something cute you did and I,” the woman stopped to sigh heavily, “I was so angry that I couldn’t move on from you. When I found out I was being transferred here, I was scared at first. But then I thought maybe I just needed to see you one time to get over my feelings for you._

_“I knew you were married, to Harry. So I thought it’d be easier to get over you, knowing that you were married,” Sophia scoffed at herself, “Part of me hoped Harry would be awful or ugly.”_

_A flash of defensive anger swept over Liam. But Sophia let out a loud sob and more tears swelled in her eyes._

_“But Harry’s wonderful,” she admitted brokenly, “He’s so perfect for you and I…I was so jealous seeing you with someone so right for you, someone who wasn’t me.”_

_Liam shook his head. There was still so much he didn’t understand, “Why did you agree to be our surrogate then?” Sophia darted her eyes to the ground._

_“Y-You talked about everything you two went through trying to have a child. And you…” she glanced up at Liam, “you looked so sad, Liam. I-I just hated seeing you so sad. You wanted a child and I wanted to b-be the one that gave that to you. I wanted to make you h-happy,” Sophia stopped and shook her head, “God after all these years, I still would sell my soul to make you smile.”_

_She sighed gravely, “But in there…you two were so excited and I-I started realizing what I was doing. I was giving up my life for nine months just to give you a kid and then I wouldn’t matter anymore.”_

_“Sophs,” Liam sighed, “You know that’s not true.”_

_“That’s bullshit!” Sophia barked out, “You know it is-you haven’t talked to me since high school. You only started giving a damn about me again when I told you I’d carry a baby for you. Y-You wanted me for my uterus, not me.”_

_Liam couldn’t really argue that. Sophia scoffed bitterly and looked at the ground, a sad smile curled over her lips._

_“Then Harry said he wanted you to father this child,” she took in a shaky breath, “and I sat there and realized that I’d have your child inside me, growing in me for months. But it wouldn’t be mine, at all. And I dunno, just-the idea of your child inside me just-I can’t do this Liam. I-I’m sorry I made promises I can’t keep. I’m sorry for doing this but, fuck-I,” she glanced up at Liam, who had tears of his own streaming down his cheeks, “I can’t be the one to give you this.”_

_Sophia left with a weak peck to his cheek and a dozen apologies. Liam stood and watched yet another opportunity to have a child slip from his fingers. He stayed outside until his chest didn’t hurt as much and it didn’t feel like he would pass out at any second. He swallowed back bile as summoned the strength to return to his beloved and walked back inside the building._

_Liam told Harry that Sophia simply changed her mind. Harry broke down and wept in Liam’s arms. He cried the entire way home and Liam laid with him in their bed and let Harry cry until exhaustion took over his and he drifted off to sleep with tears drying on his eye lashes._

_He couldn’t tell Harry the truth: that it was basically his fault for every single tear Harry cried._

_It took Liam nearly a week to rid the guilt enough to the point where he could sleep for a couple hours. When he did, Liam dreamed of someday and what wonderful things someday had in store for them._

~~~

                Liam slows down his pace as he approaches his beloved Cape Cod home. Sweat is making his tank top cling to his chest and he feels it pour down his forehead as his feet come to a small jog. His chest burns and aches nicely and the tiny little bubbles of happiness that come from after working out fills his senses. Liam needed this for a while. Harry has been in a better mood in the past week so when Liam woke up with the urge to run, he laced up his running shoes and pecked his sleeping husband on the lip before going out for his six mile run.

                The sun is just starting to perk up over the horizon as Liam steps onto the front porch. It’s mid-August and it’s finally starting to cool down. Liam loves running in the late summer and early fall-the weather seems perfect for a nice long run. He mentally notes to do this more often as he pulls his earbuds out and stops the music on his phone. He wipes his shoes on the mat in front of the door before walking inside his home.

                Harry’s up, which is a welcome surprise for Liam, and is messing about in the kitchen. Harry loves to cook and usually makes up a whole fancy breakfast on the weekends. He hadn’t done that in months and Liam is delighted that Harry is back to doing the things he loves again. Liam slips his tennis shoes off and slowly catches his breath as he walks towards the kitchen. Harry’s in one of Liam’s plain black shirts and has white and blue stripped boxers on as well. His hair’s pulled back and out of his face and Liam can see the concentration in his husband’s eyes and he cuts up various fruits.

                Harry really is gorgeous and Liam smiles at him from the doorway.

                “Hey babe,” Liam announces his presences. Harry looks up from the counter, his eyes scanning over his husband’s body. Liam smirks, happy to find that his husband of five years still openly checks him. He steps up to Harry and kisses his cheek, “how did you sleep?”

                “Good,” Harry mumbles, “I, uh, didn’t like waking up alone.”

                Liam chuckles lightly, “Aw, babe. I’m sorry. I just really wanted to work out this morning.” Harry smiles softly.

                “I figured that’s where you ran off to,” he explains, “which is why I already whipped up one of your protein shakes for you. It’s in the fridge.”

                “Thanks, hun,” Liam gives Harry a quick peck on the lips before walking over to the refrigerator. He gulps down the shake one minute and rinses out the glass in the sink. Harry’s slowly munching on fruit from the counter, his eyes never losing sight of his husband. Liam loves the attention his lover is giving him, “I’m gonna take a shower. Maybe we could go to the farmer’s market this afternoon and pick up some of those avocados you’ve been wanting all week.”

                Harry sighs, “Finally!” And Liam knows his husband is slowly coming back to him. Liam smirks before leaving the kitchen and makes his way to their master bath.

                While showering, Liam thinks about all the events coming up in the next few months. Summer is dwindling down and fall in the Payne-Styles household is insane. Liam and Harry are taking in Nicola’s three kids this year for Halloween trick-or-treating. Then Ruth’s son, Aiden, has a birthday in early November so they will be off to Ohio for that. Then there’s Thanksgiving, which Liam’s in-laws will be hosting. And then Christmas will be at Liam’s parents’ house. And New Year’s Eve, they’ll be back in Chicago for their mutual friend Niall’s annual New Year’s Party.

                Liam just hopes that Harry will be up for all the events coming.

                He shuts off the water and steps out of the shower. Liam finds a towel and wraps it around his hips before stepping out of the steamy bathroom.

                Liam’s jaw nearly falls off his face when he walks into the bedroom. Harry’s on their unmade bed, naked with a finger inside him and his beautiful face contorting in pleasure. Liam watches with stunned eyes as Harry breathes out a tiny whine, his eyes twisted shout and plump lips parted. He’s instantly half hard under his towel.

                “H-Harry?” Liam can’t help the way his voice cracks because fuck, his husband was fingering himself on their bed. Harry gasps and opens his eyes. The bastard smirks coyly as his finger moves in and out of him, his thighs quaking.

                Harry retorts lowly, “I thought I’d have to get- _ahh_ -off without y-you.”

                Liam’s eyes widen at the statement. It’s been month since they’ve been together. They spent all their free time getting things ready for the baby they thought they were going to have and didn’t have time for sex. And then, when their baby didn’t become theirs, neither Liam or Harry were in a state for sex.

                But now, as Harry slowly pushes in another finger into his hole, Liam mindlessly drops his towel to the floor. Harry licks his lip as Liam approaches their bed and kneels down on the mattress. He crawls over his husband’s body, his face landing above Harry’s quivering lips. Liam’s eyes scan over the bright green eyes he fell in love with years ago that are now nearly all black. He reaches up and strokes Harry’s tender cheek lovingly.

                “Are you sure you want this?” he asks timidly. Harry scoffs softly and rolls his eyes.

                “Li?” he gasps out, “I currently have two fingers in my ass. I have been p- _fuck_ -prepping myself for you for twenty minutes,” Harry turns his head to the side and kisses Liam’s thumb before looking back at his man, “I want this, do-uh-do you-”

                “Fuck, babe,” Liam mumbles breathlessly before kissing Harry. Harry sighs into his lips, “Of course I want this.”

                Harry smiles dopily, “Good. Now help me, please?”

                Five minutes later, Liam’s slowly moving his lubed index finger along side Harry’s two fingers. He kisses Harry’s panting chest, licks on his collarbone and whispers heated words into his husband’s neck. They’re both fully hard and Liam rubs himself off against Harry’s leg for relief. Harry whines and moans softly as Liam nibbles down his chest and tummy. Liam looks up and locks eyes with Harry before taking the head of his cock in his mouth. Liam relishes in the way his husband tastes on his tongue and how his thighs shake as his tongue licks the tips teasingly.

                “L-Liam, baby. Please, I’m ready,” Harry whines. He moans as his cock leaves Liam’s mouth with a last peck to the tip.

                “Are you sure darling?” Harry nods mutely and Liam kisses his tummy as he reached for the lube next to Harry’s pillow. They deeply stare at each other as Liam kneels in front of him and pumps his own cock with lube. It feels surreal, Harry spread out before him, longing for him with sweat glistening his creamy skin. Liam loves this feeling, the feeling that his husband needs him desperately. It’s always good to be wanted, especially in this moment.

                Liam deems himself ready and presses the tip against Harry’s hole. He bites his own lip as he slowly pushes in, and a startled breath escapes Harry. Liam folds over on top of his beautiful husband so that their chests are pressed together as Liam continues to push inside him. Harry blindly reaches out for something to hold and takes Liam’s hand firmly in his. Liam squeezes it reassuringly and kisses Harry’s weak lips as he bottoms out.

                A minute later, Liam knows his husband wants him to move because Harry traps him with his legs around Liam’s waist, his feet planted against his bum. Liam moves his hips back for the tip of his cock is all that’s inside Harry before he slams back inside with once swift motion. Harry moans delightfully as Liam thrusts into him repeatedly. Liam can’t stop looking at Harry though-his eyes are screwed shut in pleasure, his angelic face is flushed and euphoric and his lip-God, Harry’s lips are so tempting. Liam leans down and kisses Harry fiercely.

                “L-Li,” Harry moans as Liam picks up at the pace. The daze look on Harry’s face is encouraging to Liam. He wants to make his husband feel so good as if he were in heaven. Harry shakes his head, “So…so good, f-fuck!”

                Liam moans softly into Harry’s ear, “You feel good, d-darling-perfect, so perfect for me.” Harry’s lips tremble at the adoration and praise Liam gives him. He can’t help it though; he wants his throat to run dry from glorifying his amazing husband.

                “Y-You’re perfect for- _fuck, Li_!” Harry gasps as Liam changes angles and Harry chest heaves desperately for air as his hips chant in time with Liam’s thrusts. He focuses back on Liam, his gaze soft, “you’re p-perfect for m-me.”

                Liam wants to argue that, deny it profusely but Harry’s legs are pushing his hips along and Liam’s thrust become less and less precise and more ridged. His stomach coils and before he knows what’s happening, Harry screams out his name and cums hard, clinching around Liam so tight he’s seeing stars. He thrusts two more times before his hips stops and he cums inside Harry. Liam drops his head on Harry’s shoulder and Harry, even in his limp state, turns to lovingly kiss Liam’s ear numerous times and strokes Liam’s back until they both catch their breaths.

                A minute later, Liam pulls out of Harry and kisses his lips sweetly before getting up from the bed. He finds the towel he ditched earlier and retrieves it from the floor. Liam returns to his husband and kisses Harry’s chest as he cleans his hole thoroughly, ridding it of his cum. He glances up and notices his husband fondly gazing at him as Harry strokes his hair.

                “I missed this,” Harry confesses, his voice lower than usual. Liam tosses the towel to the side and reaches up to kiss Harry’s nose.

                “I did too.”

                Harry’s suddenly grow sad, “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately-”

                “Babe, don’t-”

                “No, Li,” Harry sighs sadly, a tinge of frustration, “Just let me apologize for being a shitty husband.”

                Liam’s stomach twists sickly at Harry’s statement, “H, no-you’re incredible. I’m so lucky to have you. You’re, God, you’re the best thing that’s ever happen to me.”

                Harry shakes his head stubbornly, “No-” Liam decides to kiss him just to make him stop talking. His husband can’t say such foolish lies when the truth, at least for Liam is much worse. When he pulls back, Liam looks at his amazing husband with such guilt.

                “Harry, darling-if anyone’s a shit husband here, it’s me.” He whispers, his voice cracking a few times. Harry frowns at that.

                “No-” But Liam shakes off his protests.

                “I am,” he draws in a shaky breath and curses himself inwardly for the tears forming, “I…I can’t give the one thing my husband wants more then anything else in the world.”

                Harry’s face melts with sadness, “Liam…” Liam blinks and suddenly there are tears cascading down his cheeks. Harry’s hands are there in an a second, his palms collecting the tears.

                “I’m such a failure,” Lam croaks out, the post-orgasm buzz is long gone and their high crashed down on Earth rapidly.

                “Liam James Payne,” Harry whispers, his tone light but broken, “why didn’t you tell me you feel this way?”

                Liam swallows thickly, his eyes stinging, “Because you’d say it’s not true.”

                “That’s because it’s _not_ true, Li,” Harry insists lightly. He pulls Liam’s face closer and pecks on Liam’s lips. It’s then that Liam notices that Harry’s crying too and Liam feels worse than before.

                Liam brushes his nose against Harry’s and sighs, “You’re perfect Haz.”

                “No, I’m not.”

                “You are, though.”

                Harry shakes his head, he’s lips tremble, “I’m so fucking weak, Li.”

                “Babe, no. You’re not weak, you just get sad sometimes and that’s okay. I do too.”

                “But you don’t shut down.”

                Liam bites his lip, “Sometimes I feel like I want to, though.”

                “Oh Li,” Harry wraps his arms around his husband and hugs him, “You’ve been so strong for me, too good for me.” Liam closes his eyes into Harry’s shoulder.

                “Not g-good enough.”

                “Liam I swear to God if you bash yourself anymore today you will feel my wrath.”

                Liam lets out a tiny scoff, “Is it strange that I feel both scared and aroused by your wrath?” Harry kisses Liam’s ear and purposefully ignores him.

                “What happened to us…with all the attempts in the past to get a child of our own,” Harry whispers in his ear. Liam’s tears suddenly stop at his husband’s tender voice and his hand rubbing his back gently, “That’s not your fault Li. I know you think it is but it isn’t. The reason we don’t have a child right now is because of the universe being extra shitty to us. It doesn’t make you a bad husband Liam. If anything, you’re a better husband because of it.”

                Liam briefly thinks about Sophia, “You don’t know everything, Haz.”

                “I know the important stuff,” Harry insists, “I know you love me. I know I love you with my whole heart and then some,” Liam smirks into Harry’s shoulder, “And I know that no matter what happens, if I have you I’ll be okay.”

                Liam picks his head up and stares fondly at his incredible husband, “You’re amazing, Haz.”

                “You’re not so bad yourself, Li.” Harry smiles brightly and Liam’s soul is magic lifted.

                “One day, I’ll give you everything Haz,” he promises. Harry softly gazes into his eyes.

                “You’ve already have, Liam.”

                Still, Liam decides in that moment that he needs to find the missing branch to their family tree for Harry.

~~~

                _His name was Westley._

_Westley seemed like a perfectly fine eight year old boy. He was ghostly pale with black long hair and golden brown eyes. When Liam and Harry met him adoption agency in Pennsylvania, Westley seemed timid and awfully shy at first. Liam just assumed that he was like this with new people and didn’t think much of it._

_It was daunting, really-the greeting period. Liam always found it nerve wracking because he felt like he had to try really hard to get their potential child to like him and accept him. Harry was always a natural charmer and everyone easily liked him in an instant. Liam was never that way and since they met Westley nearly seven months after the whole Sophia thing, Liam felt the extra pressure to get the boy to like them._

_But there was nothing Harry or Liam could do to make Westley like them._

_“I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to work out,” a social worker at the adoption agency, named Meredith, said blankly to them as soon as the couple walked through the door. Harry looked over at Liam, both were stunned and confused._

_“What? Why-yesterday was great!” Liam insisted, though he didn’t fully believed himself. Westley was a little shy but Liam knew it was just nerves._

_Meredith sighed tiredly, “I was there observing your meeting with Westley yesterday. You know Westley was standoffish, he never opened up to you two.” Liam reached over and took Harry’s hand._

_“But, that’s normal, right?” Harry questioned and Liam noticed that the social worker tensed up and she looked down at the desk between them. Harry pushed on, “I mean, Westley just needs to spend more time with us, that’s all.” Meredith coughed tightly and Liam had this nagging feeling that she wasn’t being completely honest with them._

_“No amount of time is going to make Westley comfortable around you two,” she told them flatly._

_Liam glared at her, “What aren’t you telling us?” he demanded._

_“Liam,” Harry scolded him, but Meredith closed her eyes and sighed gravely._

_“Before Westley was transferred here, he lived with a foster family,” she began to explain, “The family seemed like a normal family-working father, stay-at-home mother and they had another foster daughter younger than Westley. When social workers would have visits at their house, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Westley was well cared for, very well cared for. So his old social worker didn’t see any reason why Westley shouldn’t stay with his foster family. He was with them until the age of five until last year.”_

_Liam sat up in his seat, tired of the delay, “What does this have to do with anything?” Meredith coughed tightly._

_“I took over his case and I went over to their house for a surprise visit,” she looked up at Liam and Harry, “They, uh-the parents…I discovered that they were extremely conservative.”_

_Harry glanced over at Liam before he spoke up, “What exactly does that mean?”_

_“Westley’s foster parents were extremely religious, which normally isn’t wrong. But they were Baptists, strict Baptists. As I walked up to their house for my surprise visit, I saw them through the window at the front of the house. It was open and they didn’t notice me, but I heard them. The father was having some sort of…sermon in his family room. And, God-the things he was saying were horrible! He was saying hateful things against different races, different religions, even against women. His own wife was right there listening to him talk about women as inferior to men and she just agreed with him.”_

_Liam shook his head, “That’s sad and like, it shouldn’t have happened but what does this have to do with Westley not being comfortable around us?” Meredith helplessly looked at the two men._

_“…His foster father, amongst other things, was very homophobic,” she admitted, “and he instilled his beliefs on Westley.”_

_Liam could feel his chest cave in and his throat swell. Being gay, Liam dealt with peers having issues with his sexuality all his life and Harry did too. It was just children were usually so open minded and easily accepting of others. Children were usually pure and untainted by hate. Liam had always loved children. He always wanted one and he never considered that a child would have issue with his sexuality._

_Harry shock his head, “You’re telling us that Westley’s homophobic?” Meredith bit her lip as she nodded, and Harry scoffed, “I don’t-how can this be?”_

_“Westley was physically and verbal abused,” Meredith explained, “they would practice with him before scheduled visits from the social worker, and would tell him what to say. His foster father would hit him so that his clothes would cover up the bruises. He physically beat his beliefs into Westley everyday for three years. He has serious mental and social issues because of the hate his foster father taught him.”_

_Liam sighed, tiredly, “I get it, okay? This is all very sad and terrible, but why were even informed about Westley then? Aren’t there plenty of straight, not crazy couples out there who want to adopt?”_

_Meredith made a sombrous face, “Sadly, no,” she admitted, “And we thought Westley was getting better. We have him going to therapy three days a week and we’ve been telling him that what his foster father said to him were all lies. He seemed to be accepting of others and when Carol sent me your information, I thought Westley seeing a nice, gay couple would change his perception on things.”_

_“Let me guess,” Liam stated, “it didn’t.”_

_Meredith looked down at her files, “Westley refuses to see you two. He says he doesn’t feel comfortable around you guys. It’s my responsibility to do what the child wants.”_

_Liam stood up, anger boiling in his chest, “You fucking lied to us! We thought we were coming all the way out here to try and find a child who wanted us in return. You never told us we were some sort of test,” he shook his head disgustedly, “We’re never coming back here again. We’ve been looking for a child for four years! We don’t have fucking time for silly games.”_

_“I thought this would help Westley,” Meredith insisted, her voice trembling with emotion. Harry was now on his feet and he held onto Liam’s hand as he spoke._

_“But you didn’t think about us at all. Did you even consider how this would affect us?” Meredith closed her eyes and looked away. Liam didn’t want to wait for answer that wouldn’t come so he took Harry’s hand and briskly walked out the door._

_Liam wanted to break all the windows and doors as they walked out of the orphanage. But Harry’s hand in his palm was the only thing that was keeping him tamed. Neither one of them looked at the other children or workers as the left the building and headed for their car. Liam felt that everyone in that place knew that they were just rejected and it wasn’t because they physically or financially couldn’t care for a child. But because they were gay-it was as painfully simple as that._

_Neither one of them cried on the journey back to Chicago._

~~~

                “Sorry about the rain, kids,” Liam says to his two nieces as they stare outside his window. The rain was coming down in sheets and there was not a single trick-or-treater in sight.

                The youngest sister of the two, Bella, pouted in her princess costume, “But Uncle Li-I want candy!”

                “Bells, it’s pouring outside,” her older sister, Jane, replies sadly. Of the two, Jane is more of a tomboy. Her blondish hair is long in the front and covers her eyes if she doesn’t clip it back. She plays soccer and skateboards and reminds Liam so much of his childhood friend, Louis. She’s got a lot of sass and spunk for a ten year old. Liam knows her mother and Liam’s oldest sister Nicola hates her spunk but Liam secretly loves the face that his niece has a mind of her own and is passionate for her age.

                Bella is a typical five year old pink and purple loving princess. She has darker skin than Jane and darker hair but both have the signature Payne honey brown eyes. Bella hates anything that is messy and loves to throw pretend tea parties and play dress up with her dolls. Both Nicola’s daughters are beautiful young ladies and Liam feels honored to be their uncle.

                “I’m sorry, Bella,” Liam apologizes again, “But the pizza should be here soon. And Harry’s said he’ll make cookies with you guys later. I have a stash of Disney movies you can pick from.”

                “No _Toy Story_!” Bella insists and Liam gasps. From the kitchen, Liam can hear his bastard of a husband laugh loudly.

                “Yeah, it’s old Uncle Liam,” Jane adds on as she pulls the headband of her ninja costume off her head, “Let’s watch _Finding Nemo_!”

                “I wanna watch _Tangled_!” Bella adds in. Liam smiles softly at his two nieces.

                “We’ll watch both okay?” the girls nod, “why don’t you two go change in your pjs, okay? I’ll go check on Harry and your baby brother.”

                The girls trot off to where Liam set up their belongings in Harry’s office. Nicola over packs whenever she leaves her kids with Liam and Harry. Each girl has a duffle bag full of extra clothes, shoes, DVDs and toys. Liam watches them leave until they’re out of sight before he moves towards the kitchen.

                Harry’s kneading the sugar cookie dough on the countertop. He’s got flour on his apron and on his brow. His hair is pulled back in a bun and there are cat ears on his head because he insisted on dressing up for Halloween. The eyeliner he used to draw on a cat nose and whiskers on his face is beginning to smug and God, Harry’s adorable and somehow hot as a cat. Liam makes a note to keep those damned cat ears.

                A tiny whine takes Liam out of his thoughts. Baby Patrick is only four months old but he has the chubbiest face Liam has ever seen. The baby flails his arms in the air as a tiny whimper escapes his cute little lips.

                “What’s up Patty?” Liam coos at the boy while walking over to him. Liam picks him up from his swing seat and does a little dance as he tries to calm down the newest attention to the Payne-Styles clan. When Patrick settles down a bit, Liam glances up at Harry who’s fondly looking him.

                “You’re so good at that, calming kids down,” he tells him so sincerely and effortlessly that Liam blushes.              

                “I guess that’s because I’m boring. They naturally fall asleep because I’m dull,” Liam chuckles and Harry smirks.

                “I find you _very_ entertaining, Liam,” Harry says flirtatiously as walks over to the fridge with the cookie dough in a bowl. Liam eyes his husband’s hips as the sway naturally. Liam hates him because they have a house full of kids and they can’t do anything until after Nicola picks up her kids. Harry, the fucker, looks back at Liam and winks before opening up the fridge and bending down to place the bowl in the fridge.

                Liam vows to later fuck Harry so hard that he won’t walk right for days.

                “Where are the girls at?” Harry asks Liam a minute later. Liam coughs tightly as he rubs his nephew’s back.

                “In our room changing into their pajamas,” Liam tells him and Harry nods to himself.

                “Right. I’ll go check on them and see if they need any help,” Harry walks over to Liam and kisses him on the cheek, “I love you.”

                Liam smiles like a fool, “I love you too, babe.”

                The next few hours fly by with pepperoni pizza, Disney movies and sugar cookies. Liam feeds Patrick while Harry rolls the sugar cookie dough and helps the girls cut out moons and stars. After the cookies are baked and cooled, Bella and Jane decorate them with bright colored frosting and hordes of sprinkles. Harry and Liam stand back and make sure that neither one of them made too big of a mess.

                Liam cuddles Harry from behind and kisses his neck. He can’t help but feel like things are okay. Harry’s okay-he’s in a good spot. He’s writing again and Harry’s publicist, Niall, even managed to get Harry an editorial job for the Chicago Tribute. Harry’s mainly been writing about his and Liam’s experience with adoption and their struggle to find a child. Even some of Liam’s coworkers have teased Liam about how he’s supposedly famous now since his name has been in the paper a few times. Harry’s happier now, and Liam is beyond happy too.

                _Finding Nemo_ is just ending when Liam’s phone goes off. Liam frowns at his cell phone on the end table because his nieces and nephew were just dozing off. Liam quickly gets up and grabs his phone before leaving Harry alone in the family room with their nieces.

                When Liam returns in the room ten minutes later, Harry started _Tangled_ for the girls even though they were passed out on the couch. Harry smiles at Liam as he reenters the room but it drops when he sees Liam’s sullen face. Liam nods over towards the kitchen and Harry gets up to his feet and follows his husband.

                “Liam? What’s wrong?” Harry questions him softly, being mindful of the three sleeping children in the next room.

                Liam’s face is unreadable, “That was Carol.” Harry frowns.

                “Carol?” Liam bits his lip and nods.

                “Yeah, she says hi by the way…”

                “Why did she call?” Harry questions.

                Liam looks at Harry with a stone expression as he says, “She’s found another child for us.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I know it was very sad at times but happier times are a-comin'!  
> ***PLEASE LEAVE ME NICE COMMENTS AND KUDOS! THANK YOU!***  
> I have no idea when I'll post part two. I'm working full time and going to school full time as well so...please be patient! I still have to write the second part!  
> Feel free to follow me on Tumblr! My main blog is: snapbacklilo and my writing blog is: thequietquill!  
> Take care my dolls! :)


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So thank you for reading and loving BMLB! I love this story dearly!  
> Now in part two, this is from Harry's perspective. *Remember long periods of text italicized are past events and therefore are in past tense!*  
> Also this part contains a brief description of a love scene as well as a panic attack. If the panic attack might be triggering to you, please be aware that it is near the end of this part!  
> Also slight mentions of death of minor characters.  
> Please read and enjoy the 16,000 words! :)

_His name was Liam._

_Harry had to keep reminding himself everything his roommate, Louis, told him about the great and wonderful Liam. Liam Payne._

_Liam was in his Junior year of college and was majoring in finance. Harry grimaced at that because Harry was majoring English and he was so right side of the brain and Liam sounded so left side of the brain…_

_But Harry tried not to worry because he would be meeting this Liam guy for the first time in a few minutes or so. There was no pressure. Harry double checked his phone at the time and saw that it was five to six. Harry nodded to himself and fidgeted in his chair. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to have a blind first date at an Italian restaurant. Harry normally loved Italian food because he was so anxious and tense that all the cheese and garlic smells in the air was making him nauseous. Harry closed his eyes and told himself to just fucking breathe in and out slowly._

_Part of Harry wanted to kill Louis for setting him up on a date with his childhood friend. Blind dates weren’t Harry’s thing and he only agreed to it because it had been months since he caught his last asshole of a boyfriend, Zayn, fucking some blond chick in his dorm room. Harry stayed single for a while and hooked up with a couple of guys but that wasn’t his thing, really. He liked relationships and wanted to find a guy for the long haul. Maybe not forever, but at least one that was heading in that direction._

_And Louis went on and on and on about Liam and how they were best friends growing up and now they both live in Chicago but go to separate colleges but are still close. Liam was a bit of a health nut and loves to box, which Harry was intrigued by this. Liam apparently loved Batman and Toy Story and Harry found that oddly charming. So with much persistence from Louis, Harry agreed for Louis to set up this blind date, only if Liam agreed. Which Liam did agree to it, because Harry found himself at an intimate Italian restaurant on the next Friday night._

_But no matter how many times Harry begged Louis to show him pictures of Liam, he wouldn’t. Louis even changed the password on his cell phone so that Harry couldn’t peak through his phone. The cunning bastard. Liam apparently didn’t like Facebook either and didn’t have an account (Harry still checked though, just in case). Louis only described what Liam looked like which only infuriated Harry more._

_The bell over the door chimed. Harry picked his head up just as a man walked inside._

_But he wasn’t just any man, Harry thought he was stunning. His build was impressive to say the least-broad shoulders and toned muscles made Harry’s throat dry. His face was both strong and sweet with his jaw line strong and his face long but…his eyes were amber and kind and he looked just as nervous as Harry felt. Harry watched the man look around the restaurant and when his eyes landed on Harry, his lips bloomed into a heavenly smile that made Harry’s heart stopped._

_Harry suddenly wanted to write sonnets about the man’s smile._

_The man approached Harry and Harry stood up on his skinny limbs on his trembling knees._

_“You’re Harry, right?” the man asked and Harry’s heart fluttered because his voice was low like a lullaby and warm._

_Harry jerkily nodded, “Yeah, uh-hi,” he said shyly and the man smiled as he held his hand out._

_“I hoped you were Harry,” the man told him, “you’re the most beautiful person here, easily.”_

_Harry flushed madly as he shook the man’s hand, “And you better be Liam, because I have a date with Liam-Liam Payne.” Harry mentally kicked his own ass because he was being a mumbling fool in front of the hottest man he’s ever seen. But Liam chuckled happily._

_“That’s me,” he stated zealously. Harry smirked in relief because Liam was also jittery, “I, uh-got these for you.”_

_It was then that Harry noticed the bouquet of wildflowers Liam was hold. He was genuinely surprised by the kind gesture, “Aw, that’s so sweet. Thank you Liam,” Harry gushed as he took the flowers. Liam smirked._

_“I thought about going with the classic red roses,” Liam admitted to him, “But Louis told me you’re a bit of a hipster,” Harry gasped and Liam chuckled, “which is totally fine. I think I might be one too. But anyway, I saw those flowers and I thought you’d like them.”_

_“I do,” Harry confessed, “Thank you, again.” Liam grinned like he won a prize and took the chance to walk behind Harry’s chair to pull it out for his date. Harry was impressed-Liam was a true gentleman. Harry lowered himself in his chair and suddenly the prospect of setting across the table with Liam on the other side for the next couple of hours seemed wonderful._

_Only, the date didn’t last a couple of hours-it somehow lasted nearly five hours._

_Liam was…God, he was a dream come true. Harry couldn’t stop smiling the entire time because Liam was just so charming and adorable. Every other sentence he spoke was a compliment towards Harry and he sounded so genuine telling Harry that he had the prettiest eyes or how good he looked in his blazer (which Harry bought specifically for this date). The more he learned about Liam, the more he grew to like Liam and Harry became more comfortable around him. Somehow, and Harry didn’t know how or when, Harry’s hand ended up in Liam’s hand as they ate their pasta. His heart pattered in his chest every time Liam squeezed it or brushed his thumb against his knuckles._

_“I can’t believe it’s almost eleven,” Harry confessed as the pair walked out the small restaurant. Harry noticed the manager had locked the door the second they were on the street but Harry didn’t care really. He was on cloud nine and Liam was pretty and sweet and this was the best first date Harry had ever been on._

_Liam chuckled, “I know, crazy uh? The manager was ready to kill us for staying so late.”_

_“I still can’t believe you wouldn’t let me pay for my meal,” Harry stated. Liam scoffed._

_“Lou would kill me if he found out I made you split the bill,” he said, “plus, it was honor going out with you tonight Harry, and I was honored to pay for your Mediterranean pasta.”_

_Harry giggled as the walked down the street, they hands locked, “And don’t forget that tiramisu we split.” Liam moaned deep in his chest and the sound went straight to Harry’s cock._

_“God, that was heavenly,” Liam confessed._

_Just then, a young family was walking towards them on the sidewalk. The couple couldn’t have been much older then the two men on their first date. The woman struggled with the diaper bag on her shoulder as they passed Harry. Harry couldn’t help but watch the man, only because he was carrying a sleeping child in his arms. It was a cute little boy with blonde hair and his cheek smooched in his father’s chest. Harry’s eyes followed the adorable little child until it was out of his sights. God he loved kids._

_“Aw,” Liam breathed out beside Harry, “did you see that little guy? He’s so cute!”_

_Harry eyed Liam wildly because, well. Harry had never dated any guys who like kids and Harry had never met anyone who liked them as much as Harry did. But Liam’s eyes were wrinkled as he smiled widely and something was coiling inside Harry._

_“Wait…” Harry stuttered, “you like kids?”_

_Liam scoffed, “I thought that was one of the topics you’re not supposed to talk about on a first date. What is it again, religion, politics and kids? I was told you don’t talk about that stuff on first dates.”_

_“Do you?” Harry asked seriously. Liam stopped walking and therefore Harry stopped with him._

_“Yeah, I love ‘em,” Liam admitted, “My two sisters, Nicola and Ruth?” Harry nodded, remembering that Harry had mentioned them during dinner, “They both got a kid. Ruth’s got a son and Nicola just had her daughter. I love being an uncle and all but…I want a sloe of kids of my own one day.”_

_Harry kissed him right then and there, hard. Maybe Harry should have been more patient and should have kissed Liam with less gusto but fuck. Liam was hot and kind and wanted kids and he tasted like those chocolate mints the manager gave them back at the restaurant in order to get them to leave. Liam was caught off guard but he quickly was kissing Harry back with just as much force as Harry if not with more force._

_When Harry broke away, with his chest panting for air and a cheeky smile on his lips and danger in his eyes, Liam seemed all to pleased as he suggested, “Let’s-um, do you wanna come back to my place?”_

_Harry normally didn’t put out first dates. He usually waited until the third or fourth date because he valued sex and wanted it to be with a man who was worthy of him in that way, as cheesy as it sounded. But he knew that he wanted Liam, plain and simple._

_“That sounds lovely,” Harry grinned. Liam smiled as he linked the hands together and Liam kissed him sweetly on the lips before they began walking once more._

_Harry kept thinking how he always wanted to have the taste of Liam Payne on his lips._

~~~

                Harry’s vigorously typing away on his laptop when he hears it-a ding signaling that he got a new e-mail. His fingers freeze about the keyboard, his entire body stops for a good few seconds. Harry’s heart pounds in his chest as he minimizes the word document and clicks on his webpage. He opens up his e-mail and-

                “Li!” Harry yells out for his husband. Liam appears from the bedroom almost instantly, freshly showered and wearing sweats like Harry is.

                “What’s up, hun?” Liam asks.

                “Carol, um-” Harry gestures down at his laptop, “She emailed me.”

                Liam’s eyes widen, but his face is hard as stone, “Okay,” he says lowly, “Let’s take a look, yeah?”

                Harry moves from the couch to the floor and Liam perches himself beside Harry. Harry sets his laptop on the coffee table in front of them and adjusts the screen so that they can both see it clearly. Harry’s feels uneasy. Normally, with these types of emails, Harry would feel excited and happy at the prospect of a new child. But now, he’s unsure how to feel but scared is one of the main things he’s feeling.

                “You ready?” Liam asks, his hand hovering over the mouse on the laptop. Harry gulps thickly and nods his head. Liam’s left hand reaches over and finds Harry’s. Harry grips it tight with both hands.

                Liam opens Carol’s email. There’s an attachment, along with the generic message that Carol always writes with these types of emails. Neither one of them read it, since they’re read it so many times before. Liam moves the mouse so that the curser is over the attachment and Harry’s hands tighten on Liam’s.

                A picture pops up once Liam clicks on the link. Liam gasps and Harry…Harry can’t breathe.

                They knew Carol had found a girl at an orphanage in Indianapolis, Indiana. She didn’t give them much else, expect that her name was Madeline and she was nearing seven. But a picture is truly worth a thousand words and yet all Harry can think is how beautiful the child is.

                Harry notices her hair first. It’s a deep reddish-brown color and it stands out against her pale skin. Next Harry notices her eyes. They’re hazel, only a shade or so off from Harry’s own eyes. Her face is round in the picture and her pale cheeks are laden with countless freckles. Madeline smiles sheepishly in the picture and there are a few teeth missing and Harry can’t help but melt a little under her smile.

                “That’s Madeline,” Liam states plainly.

                Harry nods beside him, “Yeah…” his voice catches a little in his throat, Liam notices. Of course he notices.

                “Babe?” Liam asks, his face frowning, “What’s wrong?” Harry’s lips tremble.

                “I-I…” he takes in a shallow breath, “I can’t lose another one Li. I think I’ll die if something happens and-”

                “Shh, baby,” Liam mumbles softly as he pulls Harry into his chest. Harry wraps himself around his husband like the morning dew encases every blade of grass. Liam holds him and kisses his ear sweetly as his sturdy hands rub Harry’s spine, “Just relax, okay? This could be the one that sticks, yeah? Madeline could be ours. I think she looks perfect for the Payne-Styles clan, yeah?”

                Harry turns his head and looks at the picture of the little girl. He can see her face on the walls down the barren hallway. He can picture the face at the table each morning next to Liam. He can see himself looking through hordes of children at a school yard at the end of a school day to find Madeline’s face. He can see that very picture of they child being on his desk or in Liam’s wallet.

                Harry can see it, he can envision being Madeline’s father. But he felt the way about the others too, and it didn’t pan out the way he pictured it.

                “Let’s just give it a go, yeah?” Liam reasons, “I have a good feeling about this. We’ll try, yeah? I just…Madeline is adorable and the thought of another family getting her,” Liam doesn’t finish his thought because Harry feels the same way. 

                With a heavy sigh, Harry folds, “Okay. Let’s call Carol.”

~~~

                _Harry awoke to his phone blaring Arctic Monkey’s Arabella._

_Gemma, Harry groggily thought as he reached down beside the bed where his jeans where._

_“’Ello?” he mumbled into his cell, half his face smashed into the pillow._

_Gemma’s voice was oddly preppy for the early morning hour, “Morning, H! How did your date go last night? I wanna hear everything!”_

_Harry sat up and it was only then that he realized he wasn’t in his bed. The covers were a greyish blue solid print, while Harry’s own duvet was multicolored. A slow smile spread over Harry’s lips as he remembered the night before and how he ended up in Liam’s bed, completely naked. Outside the bedroom, Harry could hear Liam moving around the tiny kitchen he remembered seeing briefly the night before while he dragged Liam into his room._

_“It was wonderful,” Harry breathed out softly, his skin blushing like crazy._

_Gemma cooed, “Aw, Harry. That’s amazing! What’s this guy’s name again? Levi?”_

_“Liam,” Harry corrected her. Even saying his name made Harry smile and Gemma seemed to notice that somehow._

_“You really like him, don’t you?” Harry nodded shyly._

_“I like him, Gems,” he confessed lowly because Liam was still moving about in the kitchen outside the bedroom. Harry could hear the sound of a pan sizzling and the smell of eggs sautéing and Harry couldn’t believe it. Liam was making him breakfast. None of his other boyfriends had made him breakfast before._

_“I hope he treated you well,” Gemma chided over the phone. Harry looked up at the ceiling and smirked to himself as images of the night before played in his head. He recalled how Liam held him against the door and they made out there forever. He remembered those same hands being gentle as Liam pulled off his clothes for him. He remembered those hands holding him securely as Liam fucked him slowly and thoroughly until Harry nearly passed out._

_“Oh, he treated me very well,” Harry retorted cheekily._

_Gemma groaned, “Ew, you two had sex already didn’t you?”_

_“It’s was lovely,” Harry hummed, “I’m in his apartment still. Liam’s making me breakfast as we speak.”_

_“Wow,” Gemma breathed out, “that’s so…gentlemanly.”_

_“I know,” Harry whispered as he got up from the bed. He glanced down at his naked self and frowned as he looked for something to wear. He found his boxers and slipped those on quickly and it was then that he noticed Liam’s black button up shirt that he wore on their date the previous night on the floor. Harry smiled as he picked it up and pulled it over his shoulders as he tucked his phone into his shoulder and cheek, “Liam’s amazing, Gems. Seriously, like. We just…connected.”_

_“Harry that’s great and I’m happy for ya, but please-don’t rush into anything okay?” Gemma warned him but it was too late because at that very moment, Harry was staring at his reflection in Liam’s standing mirror in the corner of his clean room. Liam’s shirt was a bit large on him and the sleeves draped over his hands but he felt warm and secure in Liam’s shirt. It was the strangest feeling but Harry liked the feeling a lot._

_Harry smiled at his reflection, “I have a good feeling at Liam, Gems,” he confessed. His older sister sighed._

_“That’s great Harry, just-” she paused, “just be careful.”_

_Harry promised, “I will, I will alright? Now if you excuse me, I have to go help out Liam with breakfast.” Gemma snorted._

_“Yeah you go “help out” Liam,” she snickered and Harry was appealed by his sister’s cheekiness._

_“God, you’re the worst Gems,” he complained but then smiled as he added, “I love you.”_

_“Love ya too, H,” Gemma told him before she hung up. Harry tossed his phone on Liam’s bed and took a second to look around at the bedroom. Everything seemed to be in its proper place. The room was small but livable and Harry found it cozy. There was a dresser in the corner that didn’t match the bed or the mirror but Harry found the mismatched furniture charming. There was a bookshelf full of math booklets that Harry scoffed at but upon farther inspection he found quite a collection of poetry books. He picked up a half torn book of Edna St. Vincent Millay sonnets and Harry was impressed. He didn’t peg Liam to be a poetry lover. Perhaps there was a lot left to learn about Mr. Liam Payne._

_Harry walked out of the bedroom and was met with a glorious sight: Liam Payne shirtless by the stove wearing just boxer briefs. He turned around and God-Liam’s hair was messy and his eyes were sleepy but they perked up at the sight of Harry. He smiled and Harry thought about the sun rising with Liam’s smile._

_“Hey,” Liam said, voice deep and groggy. Harry just loved the sound of it._

_“Hi,” Harry replied as he walked into the kitchen. He stopped in front of Liam and suddenly he was unsure what to do. But Liam seemed all too confident as he wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him in for a chaste kiss. Harry smiled into his lips._

_When Liam pulled away, Harry still kept him close by keeping his arms around his neck, “I made breakfast for us. Lou, uh-he said you like fruit and stuff. I only have blueberries, sorry. But I made toast and some scrambled eggs. I hope that’s okay.”_

_“Smells amazing,” Harry commented before Liam broke out of his arms to check on the eggs, “Thank you for making breakfast.”_

_Liam glanced over, his eyes surprised, “Why wouldn’t I make you breakfast? You’re a guest in my own home and last night was,” Liam smirked, “last night was incredible. I had to thank you somehow for it.” Harry blushed and tucked his chin into his shoulder._

_“Last night was amazing,” he admitted and coughed tightly, “but seriously. Thanks for making me breakfast. I’ve had shitty boyfriends in the past that would make breakfast for themselves and not me.”_

_Liam’s eyes widened with horror, “Seriously?” Harry nodded and Liam shook his head as he shut off the stove and removed the eggs, “Well they’re fucking dickheads then. You’re clearly amazing and they were just too stupid to not give you everything.”_

_Harry stared at Liam was the man plated up their breakfasts. It was just…Liam called Harry amazing and sounded so sincere and sure of it. He hadn’t even known Harry for a day and yet Liam was positive that Harry was this divine thing. Harry wanted to argue the claim but his chest was so welled up with pride he could barely speak._

_“I’ve got a small balcony off the living room,” Liam explained as he turned around holding two plates loaded with food, “It looks over the freeway and it’s tiny but I’ve got a table for two out there. And we can watch the sunrise and…Harry? Are you alright?”_

_Harry must have looked determined because that’s what he felt. He removed the plates from Liam’s hands and set them on the counter. Liam didn’t question him, but his face seemed confused, “Here’s what we’re gonna do: You are going to recite your favorite sonnet by Edna St. Vincent Millay while I suck you off. Got it?”_

_Harry didn’t wait for a response and the last thing he saw before dropping to his knees was Liam’s wide eyes._

_“L-Love is not all-” Liam moaned out the first line of a poem Harry hadn’t heard before minutes later. Liam’s boxers were on the ground and Harry was mouthing at the base of his cock. He smirked as Liam gasped and breathlessly cried out his name._

~~~

                “Is this necessary?” Harry questions nervously. Carol smiles sympathetically.

                “Harry, you know it is,” she tells him with a sigh, her lightly wrinkled eyes kind, “But this is all just a formality. You two have been approved before and you’ll be approved again. Your house is lovely and this social worker will agree.”

                Liam takes Harry’s hand into his own, “It’s alright, darling. This will be over in an hour.”

                After all these years, Harry still melts whenever Liam calls him darling.

                Harry is tired. Both him and Liam stayed up late the night before, cleaning their entire house. Harry still smells like bleach from when he scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors. Liam even shampooed the carpets in the bedrooms as well as waxed the hardwood floors too. He spent most of the afternoon wracking the leaves in the front and back yards too because Harry hated wracking. The dusted every surface on the house and Harry washed all the curtains and pillow cases. Liam finally had called it a day when he saw his husband pulling out weeds in the driveway at one in the morning while holding a flashlight. Even after an exhausting day, Harry didn’t sleep a wink due to nerves eating away at him.

                The doorbell rings a second later and Liam kisses Harry on the cheek before making his way to the door. Harry hears his husband greet the woman and invites her in the house. Harry nervously looks up at Carol, who smiles kindly at Harry. Liam walks in the living room a second later with a youngish woman. Harry thinks she’s Indian perhaps with her lovely tanned skin and her dark features. But her smile is kind as she extends her hand to Harry.

                “Hello Harry,” the woman says, “I’m Asha.”

                Harry shakes her hand with his own feeble one, “Nice to meet you, Asha. Can I get you anything to drink or eat before we, uh, get started?” The woman shakes her head.

                “No, thank you,” she giggles lightly, “I’m sure you and your husband want to just get this over with yeah?”

                “Trust me, we do,” Liam comments as he rejoins Harry’s side, “but we know this needs to be done.”

                Asha looks at the couple sympathetically, “I’ve read over your file. You both must know the process by heart now, yeah?” Harry smiles, though he’s stressed.

                “Kinda, yeah.” Asha sighs heavily.

                “I’m sorry the adoption process has failed you both,” she comments and Harry likes her. Asha seems to actually care for them, “God, there are so many kids out there that just need a safe, loving home.”

                “We want to give that to a child,” Liam assures her swiftly. Asha smiles knowingly.

                “You mean you want to give that to Madeline?”

                Harry answers quickly, “Yes, we do. You’ve met her?” Asha laughs at his eagerness.

                “I’ve only been a social worker at her orphanage for a few months,” she explains, “But Madeline is an angel, really.”

                That makes Harry’s mind relax a bit. Liam smiles, “Shall we start this?”

                Asha nods as she pulls out a pad a paper and a pencil, “Yes. We’ll start here in the living room,” Then Asha starts doing her job; she inspects their home. Harry and Liam watch anxiously as she looks over every detail of the room while her hand jots down notes on her notepad.

                Asha stops in front of the boxes of unused toys. She looks back and Liam and Harry with sad eyes, “You two really have been waiting for a kid for a long time, uh?” 

                “Ages,” Harry whispers. Asha smiles brokenly before she writes down something on the paper.

                They all move into the kitchen afterwards and Asha asks them questions about the maintenance of the house.

                “How old is your furnace tank?” she asks innocently enough but the question has Harry drawing a blank.

                Thankfully, Liam always remembers these things, “We just got a new one two years ago, in the fall.” Asha nods as he pencil moves on the page.

                “Have you had your hot water and gas tanks checked recently?” Liam nods.

                “Last year we did, everything was fine. I still have the reports if you want to see them,” Asha smirks as she jots that information down in her notes.

                “Oh no I believe you,” she states, almost in a hum, “Shall we go take a look at the rest of the rooms?”

                Liam and Harry show her Harry’s office next where Asha states that she loves rich brown built-in bookshelves in the office. Harry’s rather glad she enjoys his office because it is his sanctuary, really. He has a bay window that looks out into their small backyard. Harry as spent many afternoons looking at the empty lot and thought about how it would be perfect to fit a small playground set or a sandbox someday.

                Next they take Asha to show her the hall bathroom and then they show her their master bed and bath rooms. Asha keeps babbling on about how lovely their home is and how they have such good taste in décor. Harry beams at every compliment because he takes pride in making his home as nice as possible.

                They finish the tour with the hardest room for Harry, the second bedroom or ‘it’s’ room. He always feels like his lungs are caving in whenever he walks in there because he and Liam got the house because of the second bedroom, because of the hopes of making it their child’s bedroom. But it hasn’t happened yet and this room really needs to impress Asha.

                “Oh, I love the wall color!” Asha comments happily as she looks about the room. She turns to Harry, “so this will be the child’s bedroom?”

                “Yes,” he says quickly, “we, um-Liam and I just built the bed frame yesterday. The mattress is coming in a couple of days so that’s why there’s no bed yet. We had a crib in here before but, I dunno. We might sell it.”

                Asha smiles sadly, “Keep the crib, Harry,” she tells him in a muted voice, “you never know-you might get a baby one day.” She winks at him with a sweet smile before she walks over to the closet. Harry really likes Asha. Some social workers are cold and standoffish, but Asha seems sweet and genuine.

                “We want to go out and buy clothes for Madeline,” Liam explains, “but we don’t know her size.”

                “Don’t do that just yet,” Asha tells the couple. Harry feels his stomach coiling in on itself as his high hopes starts to dwindle downward. But Asha explains with a smile, “I have evaluated three other potential households for Madeline. I have to submit my reports to the orphanage and me and my advisors will decide if you come get to meet Madeline or not.”

                Harry pales and feels faint. Liam steadies his husband with his hand. Carol comes up behind the couple and pats her hand on his shoulder, “Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, okay? Let’s finish this inspection first.”

                “Okay,” Liam mumbles and he sounds weak. Harry squeezes his hand and waits.

                “Well I know you’ve passed many home inspections before so I’m sure its no shock that you guys passed again,” Asha states with a large smile later on while she packs up her belongings. She leaves the couple with a smile and a reassuring, “You’ll hear from me soon. Bye.”

                When Carol leaves shortly after and the couple is by themselves, Liam mutters, “So we wait, again.” And Harry nods somberly.

                “We wait.”

~~~

                _“You listen to grandpa music!” Harry declared with a maniacal laugh. Liam gasped in horror as he turned off the stove._

_“It’s classic,” he retorted sternly, but there’s a smile on his lips._

_Three months._

_They’ve been together for three wonderful months. Harry still couldn’t believe his luck. He found a guy that remembered their silly three month anniversary and insisted on making Harry a home cooked meal. And Harry knew just how to thank Liam later on in the night in bed._

_Harry snickered as he reached up in the cabinet for plates, “I think my grandpa would love to listen to your playlists, Li.” Liam huffed._

_“Well, your grandpa sounds awesome,” Harry chuckled as the song on Liam’s Ipod switched to the next song. Liam gasped excitedly, “Ooo! I love this song! Come here babe,” Harry frowned at the unfamiliar tune before Liam pulled him in his arms. Harry let out a surprised cry but soon he was being swayed slowly to the song, which sounded like something from the ‘50’s._

_“The night we met I knew I, needed you so. And if I had the chance I’d never let you go,”_

_The woman’s voice in the song was pure and lovely. Harry knew they were off beat-the song was more upbeat and dancey but the two men moved slowly. Liam’s lips were pressed to Harry’s ear and his warm breath tickled Harry but he didn’t dare move out of his arms. If he learned anything about being with Liam in their three months together, it’s that Liam’s arms feel like home._

_“So won’t you say you love me? I’ll make you so proud of me._

_“We’ll make ‘em turn their heads every place we go.”_

_Liam kissed the shell of Harry’s ear and mumbled along lowly to the chorus of the song._

_“So won’t you please be my little baby. Save me my darling.”_

_Harry’s knees buckled at the way Liam said ‘darling.’ Liam noticed and chuckled._

_“What’s so funny?” Harry demanded softly._

_Liam shook his head with amusement, “You like it when I say darling, don’t you?”_

_“What?” Harry played dumb. Liam was grinning like he won the lottery or something._

_“I’ve been trying to figure out what your favorite pet name is,” Liam confessed._

_Harry frowned, the two of them still swaying in the empty dimly lit apartment, “You have?”_

_Liam nodded, “I’ve been calling you all sorts of pet names: love, dove, cutie pie, snickums.” Harry groaned distastefully._

_“God, I hated when you called me snickums,” he revealed and Liam chuckled._

_“I figured that out real quick,” he sighed, his face naturally happy, “But it looks like I’ve found the perfect name to call you, darling.”_

_Harry scoffed, his face flushing madly, “It only took you three months, slowpoke.” Liam’s eyes were crinkled by happiness. Harry felt on top of the world, knowing that he made Liam that happy._

_“Happy anniversary, darling,” Liam whispered for Harry’s ears only._

~~~

                Carols calls them three days later in the morning.

                Liam thankfully has an understanding boss that allows him to take off the afternoon so that him and Harry can see Carol. It still makes Harry anxious, sitting in her office while they wait for Carol to come and talk to them. It has to be about their home inspection and even though Harry’s pretty sure they’ve passed it, there’s still the chance that they will get rejected.

                “Carol will be in here shortly,” her secretary assures them as Harry and Liam are lead to Carol’s office.

                Harry gives the woman a tight smile, “Thanks Val.”

                The door closes and they’re left alone once more. They sit down in the two chairs in front of the large wooden desk and Liam reaches out for Harry’s hand. Liam seems to have this incredible sense of knowing when Harry is beyond anxious that he cannot express it. He knows when Harry is broken and always tries to fix him over and over again.

                Harry sometimes wonders how many times Liam will try to before he realizes that Harry is beyond repair and he’ll leave him.

                “Whatever happens, H,” Liam whispers, gaining Harry’s attention, “we’re in this together, yeah? It’ll be okay.”

                Harry wants to protest, but doesn’t, “Okay.” That makes Liam happy and he presses a kiss on Harry’s knuckles.

                The door creaks open behind them, “Ah, Liam and Harry. So nice to see you. Thank you for coming in so quickly. I have very important news for you two.” She states so flatly, Harry can’t tell if it’ll be good news or bad news. He just doesn’t know anymore.

                “We figured it would be. Harry says it sounded urgent,” Liam replies and Harry’s throat is dry.

                Carol nods as she sits down. She stops and stares blankly at the two men, “The board at Madeline’s orphanage has reviewed your file and as agreed for you to come and meet with Madeline.” Harry finally breathes for the first time since Carol’s call earlier that day.

                “Oh thank god,” he sighs and Liam chuckles wetly beside him, “thank god.” Carol smirks tightly.

                “Yes this is a good sign,” she explains as she opens up a Manella folder, “this now means that we have more information on Madeline that the orphanage has faxed over to us.”

                She hands over the file to the men and Liam takes hold of it. Harry peers over the information as Carol reads it off.

                “As we already knew, Madeline will be seven in the spring. But we now know more about her medical history and why she’s up for adoption.”

                Liam scans over the file, “What happened to her parents?” he questions.

                “They were originally from Scotland,” Harry’s eyes went wide.

                “Scotland? How did Madeline end up in Indiana?”

                Carol sighs, “Her birthparents were young when Madeline’s mother got pregnant. The mother’s parents didn’t like the father and they wanted her to abort. From what the orphanage has gathered, Madeline’s parents took out all the money they had and ran away to America. They went all over the place trying to find steady jobs-Detroit, Pittsburgh, St. Paul and they finally settled in a town outside of Indianapolis when the mother gave birth to Madeline.”

                Harry nods to himself as Liam asks, “What happened? Could they not afford to keep Madeline?”

                “It sounded like the father found a steady job at a factory, and the mother worked in housekeeping for various hotels,” she frowns, “it sounded like they were good parents. They wanted to keep her and they took care of her. She had all of her vaccinations up to date and everything.”

                “Then, what happened to them?” Harry questions.

                “They were killed in a car accident when Madeline was almost three,” Carol tells them. Harry’s stomach coils with sadness.

                “Was Madeline in the car?” Liam asks and Carol shakes her head.

                “No thankfully. She probably would’ve died too. It sounded like a nasty accident,” Carol sighs and Harry shakes his head.

                “I don’t understand,” he declares, “if she’s been in the system since she was three why are we just now hearing about her?”

                Carol sighs, “We knew so little about Madeline. The orphanage desperately tried to find family members of hers that would take her in. But they came up empty in the states. They finally realized that she had relatives in the U.K. But they had trouble again finding them. When they finally reached her grandparents, neither side wanted Madeline.”

                “Are you serious?” Liam asks, horrified. Harry’s disgusted himself. If anything happened to his sister or Liam’s sisters, they’d take their kids in without a second thought.

                “Sadly, yes,” Carol sighs, “so the orphanage sent papers to Scotland for the families to sign away their legal guardianship. It took ages but the courts here in America finally recognized Madeline as an orphan to the United States. When I heard about her last week, that’s when I contacted you guys.”

                Harry nods as he tries to process it all. He just…Madeline’s family willingly gave her up? He doesn’t understand how any family could do that to a child.

                Liam squeezes Harry’s hand, “We’re very eager to meet her.”

                “I know you guys are,” Carol smiles, “but there are two other reasons why I brought you guys here.”

                Harry’s stomach sinks again to the pit of his stomach, “What are they?”

                “First, look down at the file in front of you under medical conditions. It should be on the second page,” Liam flips the page over and Harry desperately searches for that section. But Liam finds it first.

                “Serve general and social anxiety?” Liam reads off the page and Harry frowns.

                Carol nods, “I’m not sure how bad of case Madeline has. We won’t really know until you guys meet her in person. But this is pretty common for orphans, especially those who were given up by their parents. They’re sheltered and often feel rejected. So they don’t have the opportunities to gain social experiences as much as children who have families.”

                “What does that mean for us?” Harry questions, “will we have to approach her differently?”

                “You might,” Carol tells them, “it depends on Madeline really. But it also means that if you two adopt her, you might have more medical expenses, including therapy sessions and maybe even medications if she needs them. I just want to make sure that you two are okay with that. When I gave you that huge list of conditions in a child you would consider to adopt, you said that you would consider adopting children with mental issues. But I just want to make sure that’s still what you want to do.”

                Harry remembers filling out that long awful list. They had to consider things like the race of a child and other medical issues like taking in a child who was born premature or had fetal alcohol syndrome. It was so long ago and there were so many items on the list that Harry can’t entirely recall what him and Liam agreed on. But Liam and Harry share a glance and Harry knows they can do this. They can take in a child with all sorts of issues and they’d be able to provide for them and love them.

                “We’re fine with Madeline having anxiety. We’ll do whatever is best for her,” Liam assures Carol. Carol smiles happily at that.

                “Good,” she comments. Harry feels better for a second, “now the second reason I brought you here,” she sighs and looks up at the two men with a sullen eyes,

                “There’s another couple interested in Madeline.”

                And all the hope that flooded Harry just seconds before vanishes.

~~~

                _They just had their two year anniversary when Liam proposed._

_Harry’s college friend, Nick, had a family cottage on Lake Michigan. Harry had to beg and bribe Nick with concert tickets but his friend finally let him have the house for their spring break. Harry was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to be alone with Liam._

_Both had graduated the summer before. Harry was working as an editor’s assistant for a political newspaper in Chicago. Liam had found an internship where he worked under a financial advisor. To make money on the side, Liam also had a part time job at a café. Liam worked long hours and so did Harry and only saw each other first thing in the morning and late at night. Both were exhausted and desperately needed some time to themselves._

_The cottage was small but perfectly fine for the two of them. The master bedroom had a king sized bed and the kitchen was all up to date and overall it felt modern yet cozy. The best part was the backyard, where the lake was less than twenty yards down a slight slope. There was a wooden dock that led out onto the lake and there was a shed off to the side where Nick said there was a small wooden boat with paddles._

_The first few days were spent mainly in the bedroom. Harry had the bright idea of bringing their own sheets and that was the best idea he ever had. Despite the stress of their jobs, Liam and Harry were very much in love and it showed that in those days. Liam made love to Harry as if he were made of gold. Harry knew Liam was the one and they spoke of marriage loads of times; it was just a matter of time before things were settled enough for them to be married._

_One their last night, Liam rowed out onto the lake in the small wooden boat. Harry insisted on helping his boyfriend row, but Liam wouldn’t allow it. They reached a spot a hundred yards off the shore where they had the perfect view of the sun setting on the horizon. The week had been incredible. Harry felt tanned and well rested and he never felt closer to Liam. This trip was a god send._

_“I got you something,” Liam informed Harry while they were floating on the lake. Harry frowned._

_“Really, Li? We just had our anniversary,” he told him and Liam scoffed._

_“What? I can’t give you presents for no reason, darling?” Harry blushed as Liam handed him a book. Harry frowned as he took it, then smiled as he read the cover._

_“Edna St. Vincent Millay sonnets,” Harry recited, “Oh Liam, this is wonderful!”_

_Liam shrugged, “Well, I figured since you love her so much and you’ve had to use my shitty copy for years now, I thought you might like your own book, brand new.” Harry smiled._

_“Thanks Liam.”_

_“Your favorite one is on page forty,” Liam told him with a wink. Harry grinned and eagerly flipped through the pages until he found his favorite sonnet by Millay. He coughed and took a deep breath as he read the poem:_

_‘Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink_

_Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;_

_Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink_

_And rise and sink and rise and sink again;_

_Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,_

_Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;_

_Yet many a man is making friends with death_

_Even as I speak, for lack of love alone._

_It well may be that in a difficult hour,_

_Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,_

_Or nagged by want past resolution’s power,_

_I might be driven to sell your love for peace,_

_Or trade the memory of this night for food._

_It well may be,’_

_Harry stopped reading blushed as he looked up at Liam as he finished the poem._

_‘I do not think I would.’_

_Liam grinned sheepishly and kissed Harry’s left hand, “I wouldn’t either, you know. We’re in this together, you and me.” Harry sighed dreamingly._

_“Yes we are,” he grinned before taking his hand back. He noticed the book had a red ribbon bookmark attached to it and he reached behind the book for the ribbon. He frowned to himself because it felt heavier then it should have. When he flipped it in front of the book, he gasped loudly and nearly dropped the book._

_Tied to the ribbon was a simple silver band._

_Harry looked up at Liam with confusion and tears filling his eyes, “L-Li?” Liam smirked from his side of the boat. He scooted forward and took the book from Harry’s hand. He placed it on the boat floor between them and took Harry’s hands and sighed deeply before speaking._

_“Harry Edward Styles,” he stated out, “I cannot describe how much you mean to me. You are my food, the air I breathe-you are a necessity to me. I want you all the time and my desire for you will never fade. I was half in love with you when I met you and over these past two years, that love has grown into a love I didn’t know was even possible. I never knew I could love someone so deeply and have that same love in return. Harry, you are my future and whatever years I have left on this earth, I’d be delighted to share them with you.”_

_Harry’s lips wobbled and his voice trembled, “L-Liam.” Liam smiled and brought his head to Harry’s. Their foreheads touched and Liam smiled._

_“I want to give you the love those characters experience in those silly romance novels you read. God knows you already have given that to me and so much more. I promise to show my love for you every day-no matter what happens, I promise to be by your side and love you every single day,” he sighed and Harry noticed that his own breath was shaky too._

_“Harry, will you marry me?”_

_Harry pounced on Liam and both nearly fell off the boat when Harry pushed Liam down on the boat. He kissed him all over Liam’s chest and the man chuckled happily._

_“So you’ll be my husband, I take it?” Liam asked again because Harry never really gave him an answer. Harry smiled softly and bore his eyes into Liam’s._

_“Only if you’ll be my husband.”_

~~~

                “Well this is just fucking great,” Harry huffs once they’re home. Liam sighs and takes both of their coats to the coat rack.

                “Harry, please try to remain positive. We were approved; we’re visiting her this weekend already! These are good things we need to focus on.”

                Harrys scoffs at that, “You really think they’re going to pick us, Li? A gay couple? Over a hetero-couple?” He shakes his head, “When will you see that we’ll always be picked last, Li?! The gays never win and if we do, it’s after we’ve been dragged through Hell fighting for what we want and deserve!”

                “Harry,” Liam groans and rolls his eyes, “This isn’t a social injustice issue. This is an issue of a flawed system.”

                “A flawed system that refused to give orphans to gay couples for decades, Liam!” Harry reminds him and Liam nods, agreeing.

                “Yes, I know that. Of course I know that,” Liam sighs, “but we are being considered, Harry. They inspected our home and liked us enough that they want Madeline to meet us. Clearly, that means that they are okay with gay couples adopting kids.”

                Harry groans and rolls his eyes, “Yes, but we’re not the only choice for Madeline. There’s a straight couple that was approved too, Liam,” Harry’s lips wobble, “T-They’re gonna get Madeline and we’re gonna get n-nothing!”

                Liam pulls Harry into his arms, “Oh Harry. I know this is scary. If had any say in any of this we would have had a kid a long, long time ago,” he squeezes his husband, “but we have to remain positive. We were picked, out of five potential couples we were one of two that got picked. That’s amazing, we’re so lucky to be where we are. I can’t tell you what might happen when we see her this weekend but I can promise you-whatever happens, we’ll get through it together.”

                Harry sighs into Liam’s sweater and breaks out of Liam’s arms. Liam is smiling reassuringly down at him and Harry takes in a deep breath before releasing what had been on his chest for a long time.

                “If…if it doesn’t work out, with Madeline,” Harry forces himself to continue looking at Liam, “I want to wait a while before looking again.” Liam stills.

                “How long?” Harry shrugs.

                “I dunno, at least a year but probably longer then that,” Liam opens his mouth to speak but Harry beats him to it, “Li, I. I can’t keep doing this. Yes I want a family with you, more then anything. But pretty much our whole marriage has been finding children and house inspections and paperwork that led up to nothing, Li. God, I feel so drained. I…this is so hard Li, so fucking hard,” his lips shake and his eyes start to swell, “I’m so afraid that Madeline’s gonna slip through our fingers just like the others have and I-I-”

                Liam pulls him into his arms, “Shh, darling. Breathe sweetheart. It’s okay, we’ll wait sweetie. If…if things don’t work out with Madeline we’ll wait.”

                Harry sighs into Liam’s chest and concludes two things:

                First, his husband must really love him because Liam wants a kid more than anything else in the world. He could see the hesitance in Liam’s eyes when suggested them waiting but he pushed his own feelings aside for Harry. Liam is all sorts of wonderful and maybe Harry thinks he’s too wonderful to be stuck with him. But he’s too in love and too selfish and doesn’t want Liam to ever leave his side.

                Secondly, he knows that Liam must feel positive that Madeline is going to be theirs. He wouldn’t have agreed to wait so long to try to adopt again so easily if he wasn’t so sure this would be their last time waiting.

                Part of Harry hopes that Liam’s confidence will pass on to him.

~~~

                _They got married at the courthouse._

_Liam, being ever so mindful of money, knew that they couldn’t afford a fancy wedding. Harry knew this too and he didn’t mind a short ceremony really. He didn’t want to wait; he wanted to take Liam’s name. Besides, there were more things in life Harry wanted then an expensive wedding, like a decent house and a family…_

_Harry liked the idea of having a family with Liam._

_They showed up in at a courthouse in Downtown Chicago on a mild winter day, wearing tuxes they rented. Their families packed the courtroom and it probably wasn’t fair to the other couples in the room but this was Harry and Liam’s day. They were gonna make it special for them. When the judge pronounced them as husbands, Liam dipped Harry down to his knees and kissed him dramatically. Their moms cried, their fathers stoically shock hands with their new sons and their sisters threw confetti at them as the walked down the courthouse stairs._

_They all walked to Millennium Park and posed for pictures together will Gemma took the pictures. They took hundreds of pictures, easily, but it was easy to take pictures of the happy couple, all smiley and blissfully newly wed. It was a glorious day, so intimate and private. They felt special._

_They had a nice dinner at a famous Chicago steakhouse. Both Harry’s parents and Liam’s folks insisted on splitting the bill. Liam disapproved this but his parents and his new in-laws didn’t care. They reasoned that because they didn’t have a big wedding, the boys saved each family thousands. So the paid for Liam’s prime rib and Harry’s surf and turf and that was that._

_Liam carried Harry into their tiny apartment later that night after the celebrations were done. Liam pealed back Harry’s suit carefully and undressed him slowly, kissing every speck of skin he saw, worshipping Harry’s body tenderly. Harry couldn’t stop holding Liam’s left hand; he couldn’t stop kissing the new golden band that was on his ring finger. Liam was his husband, it was official. Harry woke up that morning a Styles and now he was a Payne._

_Life’s sorta amazing._

_Liam opened his new husband up slowly, his tongue lapped up on Harry’s hole for hours it felt like. Harry fell into this state where his brain couldn’t conjure up anything other his husband’s tongue was in his ass. His husband! He was properly married to an incredible man and he was making love to him. Harry gasped when Liam added fingers into the mix and Liam held him in place as he opened up his husband._

_Husband. Harry was Liam’s husband. Just the thought of it formed happy tears in Harry’s eyes._

_When Liam finally pushed in, Harry swore it felt different. They’d done this a million times and yet it felt so different that night. Harry blamed it on the unfamiliar wedding band piercing his shoulder from where Liam’s grip was strong as he pushes into Harry. He swore that Liam was looking at him differently, like the whole world and all the galaxies were in his eyes. Liam’s kisses felt different, they burned more on Harry’s skin and seemed to last longer._

_Liam’s voice seemed to somehow sound more sincere when he finally started to properly move. He whispered poetic lines and cheesy adorations of love and yet Harry believed every word. He knew Liam loved him more then anything in the world because Harry loved Liam more then anything in the world. Harry hooked his ankles behind Liam’s back and pulled him closer because nothing could come between them. They were now partners for life. Forever._

_Liam’s cock hit Harry’s spot and Harry groaned and arched up into Liam. Liam gripped his hands tighter on Harry as he quickened his pace. Harry took it, and kissed Liam hotly on his neck as he held on for dear life. Both are a panting, sweaty, withering mess as their orgasms hit them both hard with each other’s names burning on their tongues. Liam refused to let go of his husband and Harry thinks his husband’s hands might be glued on his skin for all time._

_“I’m sorry,” Liam mumbled into Harry’s neck moments later. That made Harry stops petting Liam’s hair and he frowned down at him._

_“For what?” Liam looked like a dog who was kicked in the gut._

_“For not giving you the wedding of your dreams,” he said lowly. Harry sighed heavily and cupped Liam’s face in his hands._

_“Liam, my husband, please look at me,” reluctantly, Liam did so. Harry laced a sweet smile on his lips, “Today was my dream wedding. I’m fucking married to you, Liam. Believe me, I’m can’t be happier even if I wanted to so stop sulking and give me a proper kiss.”_

_Liam scoffed and his frown broke into a little smile. He leaned up and kissed Harry hard._

_“I’ll give you everything you want Harry, I’m promise,” Liam insisted and Harry’s heart coiled in his chest. Liam was just so sweet, “We’ll have a proper wedding one day, with flowers and suits that fit us and a lame DJ,” he smirked when Harry giggled at that but he turned serious just as quick, “I’ll give you a nice home with all the kids we could ever want.”_

_Harry grinned unabashedly as he stroked Liam’s back, “I like the sound of that.”_

_“Good,” Liam stated, “because it’s all gonna happen one day. I swear, you’ll get everything we want one day.”_

_Liam seemed so sure that Harry didn’t have everything he could ever possibly need in his arms that moment. He knew that kids will come one day and they’d live in an actual house instead of a shitty apartment with leaky pipes and loud neighbors. But all Harry needed was Liam and now he had him forever._

~~~

                Liam scans the room key in the door. The light turns green and he opens the door to their hotel room. He steps aside and lets Harry in first and Liam follows suit with their bags.

                They’re in Indianapolis. They’re actually here and tomorrow they’ll meet Madeline.

                All day Harry’s been on the verge of fainting and he suspects tomorrow will be worse.

                Harry stares out the large window that overlooks the city. He’s never been in Indianapolis before but it seems like a decent city. There are lots of restaurants and shops around their hotel that are hidden under a thick fog. All day it’s been gloomy and drizzly with an achy chill in the air. It only makes Harry more nervous.

                Fortunately, Liam’s there.

                He slips up behind Harry and cuddles him as some sort of sentinel; protecting him as best as he can. Liam’s been so incredibly steady and strong all week and really with their whole adoption process. Where Harry is unsure, Liam is certain. When Harry is weak, Liam’s his anchor to center him and keep him on his feet. Harry thinks Liam’s too strong, too good for him. Liam makes up seventy-five percent of their marriage and Harry puts in the last twenty-five percent. It’s not equal; Liam gives and gives and Harry just takes from him. He’s such a shitty husband.

                And yet, Liam’s here, kissing his neck and swaying in their room as they look out at the city.

                “I saw a sushi place nearby,” Liam mumbles into his skin, “we should dress up and go out for dinner.”

                Harry thinks about it and gulps thickly, “I don’t think my stomach could handle raw fish.” He feels Liam frowning against his skin.

                “Nerves?” Harry nods, “Alright. I also saw a nice bistro not to far from here.”

                Harry knows Liam and knows he’ll keep suggesting places until he agrees so he just caves, “That sounds nice,” he lies. He wants to stay in and let his fears coat him like a latex suit but he can’t do that. Liam won’t allow that.

                They clean themselves and dress nice enough without trying too hard. Liam holds Harry’s hand as they walk around. The early November day is rather mild and there are clouds looming in the sky. Harry tries not to look at them or at Liam.

                The bistro is nice and thankfully quiet. Liam holds his hand on the table as they look over the menu. Nothing looks appetizing to Harry. He keeps thinking about how Madeline will be down the drain along with the rest of the kids they wanted. He can’t think about tomorrow because he knows he’s going to love her when he meets Madeline but then she’s going to be gone just as quickly as she entered their lives.

                Part of Harry seriously can’t believe they’re even trying anymore.

                “Babe?” Harry’s forced to look up at Liam. He’s got this squishy, concerned look on his face, “are you okay, hun?”

                “Fine,” Harry says tightly and far too quickly. Liam doesn’t seem to buy it but he looks around at the restaurant and decides not to say anything.

                Harry orders chicken soup because the idea of anything else seems too heavy for his stomach. Liam makes a face when Harry places his order but quickly changes it as he tells the waiter he wants the turkey panini without mayo and a side salad.

                “Just soup, love?” Liam asks when the waiter leaves.

                Harry shrugs, “I dunno, feels like a soup kind of day.” Liam smirks unsurely.

                “If you’re still hungry you can eat part of my sandwich,” Harry’s stomach squirms at the idea.

                “I’m not all that hungry,” Harry confesses and instantly, Liam turns into a worried mother.

                “Is this about tomorrow?” he asks and no-Harry can’t talk about this now.

                “How’s that big project at work coming along?” he asks Liam, voice higher then normal. Liam squints his eyes at him before sighing and going on a long discussion about his work.

                When their food comes, Harry takes slow bites as they talk. Liam tells him that Ruth seemed understanding on why they couldn’t make it to her son’s birthday party. It was planned for that Saturday, but with everything that has happened, Ruth understood and insisted they go and meet Madeline instead of postponing it. Harry nods at this, and was happy that he shipped his nephew’s present in the mail the day before. He knows he needs to make it up to Aiden in the future though.

                Harry talks briefly about his editorial job at the Chicago Tribute. His page on the paper’s website is getting more and more followers and he has so many supportive readers. Naturally, there are some who are jerks and say homophobic things about his articles. Luckily, the team at the Chicago Tribute is supportive of him. Niall, his book editor, is trying to push another book out of Harry but nothing has come to mind for Harry to write. Liam tosses out a few plots Harry could write for a book: an adventure novel, a futuristic dystopian society love story, a coming of age story. Harry shakes his head at all the ideas. He’s not inspired by anything sadly.

                Harry doesn’t finish his bowl of soup. He sees the questions in Liam’s eyes that his husband refuses to ask and Harry can’t look at him. Liam’s been amazing and Harry can’t be strong enough for him in this.

                The walk back to the hotel is dead silent. They hold hands and walk through the busy city streets without muttering a word. It’s night time now; the sky is blackened with speckles of faded stars. Harry feels dizzy in the crowded streets and just wants to get away from everyone. He’s slipping away, suffocating under the weight of his thoughts.

                He’s meeting another child tomorrow; one that he’ll probably fall in love with and they’ll be rejected again. Madeline will probably want the other family and she’s get adopted by them and she’ll love them and she’ll never think of Harry or Liam every again in her life while Harry will spent the rest of her days trying to forget her. The whole thing is just sickens Harry.

                By the time they’re in the elevator, Harry’s nearly hyperventilating and his eyes are welling up with tears. He tries so hard to calm down because he doesn’t want his husband to see him like this. But he starts shaking and he can’t hide it. Liam notices and Harry feels his hands on his shoulders.

                “Harry? Darling, what’s going on?” Liam asks, his voice panicking. Harry hears him, and knows he should answer him but the words are far away and he can’t find them. He heaves for breath, desperate to breathe. Fuck, he hasn’t felt this way in years, “Harry? Sweetheart we’re on our floor okay? We’ll be in our room shortly.”

                Liam half carries Harry to their room. Harry can’t stop shaking; he doesn’t even feel like this is happening. It feels like his body has a mind of its own his brain has completely shut down. Liam opens the door and Harry stumbles inside as the tears start to fall.

                “Let’s get you in the bathroom okay?” Liam says to him but Harry only half hears it. Liam pulls him into the bathroom and takes off their shoes. Harry’s full on hyperventilating now; his lungs seemed to have run out of air and his stomach is twisted in on itself severely. He doesn’t know what to do; he can’t think and yet it seems like he’s thinking of a million things all at once.

                Liam moves his husband’s stiffened body into the shower and goes in with him. He shuts the door and before he knows it, hot water is pounding down on Harry’s face. Liam sits down on the white tiled floor under the shower head and pulls Harry down. He sets Harry in between his spread legs and wraps his arms around him from behind.

                “Breathe darling,” Liam instructs softly. Harry’s soaking wet, fully clothed and having a panic attack in the shower where his husband is cradling him like a baby. Harry whimpers and Liam chides him kindly, “No Harry It’s okay, you’re okay. Just breathe darling, breathe for me.”

                _You’re pathetic because you can’t even breathe, Harry’s thoughts tell him, You couldn’t keep your own emotions in check. You’re fucking scared of a little girl and the pain she could cause you. You don’t deserve Liam. Liam deserves a good husband, not one who’s constantly afraid. You’re weak; you’re pathetic. You’re-_

                _“The night we met I knew I needed you so.”_

                Harry’s mind sorta halts when Liam’s sweet voice breaks through every single thought in his head. Liam starts swaying as he hold Harry closer and tries to stay on key to a song that won Harry over years ago.

                _“And if I had the chance I’ll never let you go.”_

                Harry’s lips wobble because Liam’s grip tights around him. He knows Liam won’t let him go. _You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re okay. Just breathe._

                _“So won’t you say you love me. I’ll make you so proud of me. We’ll make ‘em turn their heads, every place we go.”_

                Liam kisses Harry’s ear, “Come on love, try and sing with me.”

                _“Be my little baby. Save me my darling. Be my baby now.”_

                Harry stumbles with his words but he knows them by heart. His voice is horse and not nearly as good as it could be but he’s trying his best and Liam seems to appreciate it. Suddenly it doesn’t feel like he’s going to die. Suddenly he can breathe. Suddenly he’s not drowning.

                Liam keeps holding him and rubs his hands over the wet, rough fabric of the drenched clothes. He rocks Harry under the stream of water, which is running slightly cooler now. His body slowly stops shaking; the urge to run far away vanishes and his stomach eases. Liam hums the classic ‘50s song over and over again in his ear until Harry feels safe again.

                “I’m sorry,” Harry croaks out over the pounding sound of water hitting the tiles around them.

                Liam kisses his neck, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” Harry sighs.

                “I…haven’t had a panic attack in years,” Harry confesses, “not since high school.”

                “I know,” Liam murmurs. His hand slicks back Harry’s wet hair out of his eyes, “You told me about how you had anxiety for a bit. Your mom used to run a bath for you when you felt anxious so that’s why we’re in the shower. I thought it might help.”

                Harry’s lips wobbled, “I’m so pathetic.”

                “No you’re not love.”

                “I can’t even be excited about meeting Madeline,” he says brokenly, “I’m so fucking scared.”

                Liam turns Harry around so that he’s looking at his husband dead in the eye, “I am too.”

                Harry tilts his head and studies Liam before shaking his head, “No you’re not.”

                “I am though,” he insists softly. Liam sighs, “I’m scared that if tomorrow falls through again,” he strokes Harry’s cheek with a sad look in his eyes, “I’m scared of what that will do to you. I’m scared we’re gonna get hurt again and you’re gonna sink so deep in that hole of yours that I’ll never see you again.”

                Harry sniffles, “Liam.”

                “I’m sorry I put you through this,” Liam says and Harry shakes his head and holds onto Liam’s hands desperately.

                “I want a child,” Harry insists, “we want one or many of them. I want to meet Madeline, I do. I’m just-”

                Liam smirks sadly, “Scared?”

                Harry nods.

                “That’s okay, darling,” Liam tells him, “just let me know when you’re scared, yeah. Sometimes,” Liam scoffs softly and shakes his head, his eyes full of fondness, “You get so wrapped up in that head of yours it’s like you forget I’m here for you, always.”

                That makes Harry’s heart sink. Liam’s the best husband Harry could have ever wished for.

                “I know that,” Harry says, “I promise you I know that.”

                He leans in quickly, capturing Liam’s face in his hands and capturing his husband’s lips with his own. Liam seems to freeze at first but then quickly melts and pulls Harry closer to him. Harry licks across Liam’s lips and soon they’re properly snogging in a cold shower. Harry pulls back and shuts off the water quickly.

                “I wanna show you I much you mean to me,” Harry whispers as he starts to unbutton Liam’s shirt. Liam’s hand stops him.

                “Harry, darling, you don’t need to-”

                “I want to, though,” Harry whispers, “I want to make you feel good. Please, Li.

                Liam smiles softly, “Babe, what you just went through took a lot out of you. I can tell you’re tired babe,” he kisses Harry’s cheek, “I love you Harry and of course I want to have sex with you. But we’re both tired and we’re both nervous for tomorrow.”

                “Which is exactly why sex right now would be a good idea,” Harry reasons, “I can’t, fuck. I need to do something to get my mind off everything.” Liam ponders for a moment before smirking at Harry.

                “Why don’t we get in our pjs and watch a movie in bed?” Liam suggests, “we can stay up late and watch movie after movie until we pass out,” Liam pokes a finger on where Harry’s dimple is hiding, “We can cuddle. I know you love to cuddle.”

                Harry ignores that irrational feeling inside him that Liam doesn’t want to be him sexually. Despite his thoughts, he knows Liam’s attracted to him and that he wants Harry in every way imaginable. He does, it’s just those stupid thoughts pop up in his head sometimes. He choses to nod at Liam’s idea because truthfully, he’s worn out and a nice relaxing evening with his husband sounds glorious.

                Harry picks out _Pride and Prejudic_ e to watch with his husband. It’s his favorite story of all time and he is so excited that their hotel had it on their streaming device. Liam makes them both cups of tea and Harry rests his head on Liam’s chest as they watch the rise of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s relationship.

                _“You have bewitched me, body and soul,”_ Harry mumbles along to Mr. Darcy’s line as the movie comes to an end. Liam’s laugh makes his chest vibrate from under Harry.

                “We’ve seen this a billion times,” Liam comments grumpily, but he leans down and kisses Harry’s head, “We could recreate the whole movie if we wanted to.”

                Harry smirks, “I called dibs on Elizabeth.” Liam groans.

                “No! I want Elizabeth!” Liam whines, “She’s strong willed and stubborn and…” he grins as he looks down at Harry, “okay, yeah. You’re Elizabeth.” Harry pouts as Liam snickers.

                “I’m not stubborn!” he insists, but his pout breaks into a giggle, “I just like getting my way because I’m always right.”

                Liam rolls his eyes, “Of course you are, darling.”

                “Hey at least I’m not boring like Mr. Darcy,” Harry challenges.

                “But Mr. Darcy is cool and takes care of Elizabeth’s family without anyone asking him to. He does it for Elizabeth. He wants to give her everything she wants and nothing less,” Harry smirks as he pets Liam’s hair with a fond gaze.

                “I guess we really are Darcy and Elizabeth,” Liam takes hold of Harry’s hand and kisses the knuckles sweetly.

                “Whatever happens tomorrow, or the next day, we have each other, yeah?”

                Harry ignores the ping of anxiousness that spikes up and smiles as he leans in and pecks his husband, “Always.”

~~~

                “Mr. and Mr. Payne?” Harry picks his head up at that. Asha is standing by the door with a sweet smile on her face, “Madeline’s ready.”

                Harry’s heart flutters in his chest. He’s ben jittery all morning, even after he did some yoga with Liam and did a half hour of mediation afterwards and he still feels like a mess of nerves. Liam stands up beside him and holds out his hand for Harry. Harry nods and takes Liam’s hand and stands up on shaky knees.

                They’re here; no point in turning around now.

                Asha leads them down a hall where the walls have murals on them of cartoonish look gardens and playgrounds full of kids. It’s so cheery and cute that it relaxes Harry a bit but not enough. Him and Liam are about to meet another child and it could be Heaven or Hell. But either way, whatever it’s meant to be, it’s on the other side of the door Asha stops in front of. She turns to the couple and smiles softly.

                “Now she might be really shy at first, that’s just her nature. So don’t think she doesn’t like you. I, along with two other social workers, will be supervising the visit. Please ignore us and focus your time on Madeline and getting to know her. Myself and the other social workers will be focusing on your interaction with Madeline and how she acts and feels around you two. You have four hours to spend with Madeline, okay?”

                Harry and Liam share a look before nodding slowly.

                “Alright,” Asha smiles as she leans in, “Best of luck!”

                And she opens the door.

                Harry spots Madeline immediately. She’s kneeling in the center of the room, which looks like some sort of play area, and her back is turned away from them. She’s sitting with the two other social workers, both holding pads of papers and looking stoic as they look up at them. Harry holds his breath and tightens his grip on Liam’s forearm. Liam covers his hand with his own.

                “Madeline?” Asha calls out for her, “I have some guests for you to meet.”

                Madeline turns around and, God. Harry’s heart stops for a second or so because the little girl is beautiful. Her hair is long and hangs in the middle of her back and is full of reddish curls. She has wide, questioning hazel eyes as she stares at the two of them. She’s smaller then Harry imagined but she is simply perfect. Harry glances up at Liam and his husband seems to be in awe of her as well.

                It’s a good start.

                “Madeline, this is Liam and Harry,” Asha tells the child and points out the men to her. The little girl looks over them and tilts her head. Harry would pay millions just to know what Madeline is thinking, “They want to get to know you sweetie. Say hi to them.”

                Madeline looks at her shoes and her fingers curl together nervously in front of her. She’s nervous and Harry’s nervous and Liam’s nervous too. Harry takes a deep breath and waits. Madeline has to come to them. She needs to be comfortable with them. He doesn’t want to startle her and make her even more scared. Liam must feel the same way because he’s staying in place as well.

                Finally, Madeline takes slow, shy steps up to the couple. Harry’s heart is pounding in his ears and he just wishes he can see her face to try and figure out what her plan is but her eyes are trained on the multi-colored rug. Harry surprised when the little girl stops in front of him and holds out her hand. Harry shares an equally confused look with Liam, who shrugs, and Harry gently takes hold of Madeline’s hand. The girl turns around and begins to walk so Harry and Liam follow her.

                Madeline stops in front of a small bookshelf and Harry and Liam stop a step or so behind her. She lets go of Harry’s hand and runs up to the book shelf. She seems to ponder over the extensive collection of picture books before she makes her selection. She picks out a book then hands it over to Harry.

                “Can you read this to me?” Madeline asks, and God, he voice is so adorably high pitched and soft. Harry smiles for the first time all day.

                “I’d love to,” he tells her. Madeline smiles sheepishly and approaches Liam.

                “I want to sit next to you,” she tells him bluntly then looks at the ground timidly. Liam chuckles and Harry tells himself not to cry.

                “How about you sit in the middle so that you can see the pictures?” Liam suggests and Madeline beams as she sits down in between the men. Harry and Liam join her on the floor.

                Madeline picked out _Cinderella’s Dress_ to read. She rests her head against Harry’s arm in order to see the pictures and she asks all sorts of questions like what a magpie is and why do they like shiny things? Harry chuckles when Madeline notes how messy the magpies’ nest is and how she is in awe of the dress the magpies made for Cinderella out of all the things found in their nest.

                When Harry finishes the story, Harry pulls back and closes the book. It’s then that he realizes Madeline is staring up him and frowning cutely.

                “What’s wrong?” he asks, afraid that he’s done something to upset the girl.

                Madeline simply says, “Your hair is really long for a boy.” Liam looks up at Harry and breaks out into a small laugh. Harry’s lips twitch in surprise.

                “Well, yeah. I guess it is.” Madeline stands up and places her hands on Harry’s head. Harry smirks as he feels her tiny fingers prodding his scalp.

                “I like your hair,” she says softly. Harry locks eyes with her and he knows he’s beaming.

                “Why thank you. I like your hair too.”

                Madeline turns to Liam, “Are you two best friends?” Liam looks over at Harry with the softest gaze.

                “Yeah, we’re the best of friends. We’re married,” Madeline’s eyes grew wide.

                “Married? Like how Cinderella and the Prince are married?” Harry giggles.

                “Yeah,” he says fondly as he looks at Liam, “Liam’s my Prince,” it’s sappy but Liam truly looks touched and it’s lovely.

                Madeline turns to Harry with excitement in her precious eyes, “So you’re a princess then!” Liam snickers and Harry breaks out into a wide smile. The little girl is too adorable.

                “I guess I am.”

                Madeline looks over to Liam, “Do you braid Harry’s hair?” Harry can’t help the laughter that escapes him. Liam scoffs fondly at the question.

                “I would if he ever sat still,” Liam winks at Harry as he playfully scolds him.

                “My best friend braids my hair,” Madeline tells them and Harry can feel her opening herself up to them. This is relieves Harry, “Her name is Kelly and she is nine and she says best friends braid each other’s hair.”

                “Well Kelly sounds like an excellent friend,” Liam comments. Harry taps Madeline’s shoulder to get her attention.

                “Would you like to braid my hair, Madeline?” Harry wishes he could have brought his camera just to capture the girl’s reaction. Madeline gasps happily.

                “Really?” Harry bites his lip and nods.

                “Here,” Liam says as he stands up, “Why don’t you stand on this stool so you reach Harry’s hair okay?”

                The next twenty minutes are spent with Harry sitting on the ground with tiny fingers working on braiding his hair. Madeline stands behind him on a tiny stool and Liam stands behind her and tries to braid her hair. Madeline has to stop and start over a few times because she claims she messed up and Harry patiently accepts it. Harry was certain that Liam was messing up on braiding as well. In this times Harry and Liam ask Madeline questions to get to know her better. Her favorite color is yellow. She likes airplanes and she also loves to read. The more Harry learns about her the more his heart billows with adoration for the child.

                “All done,” the girl happily states as she ties a rubber band at the tail end of the braid, “You look very pretty.” Harry reaches back touches the one braid going down the center of his scalp and smiles.

                “Wow, it’s perfect Madeline! Thank you.” he looks over his shoulder and Madeline is beaming down timidly.

                “Um,” Liam’s sigh breaks the moment. He frowns at his work, “My braid doesn’t look like yours at all, Madeline…” Harry holds back a snicker. The little girl laughs.

                “It’s okay. Kelly will braid it for me tonight,” she shakes out her curls and looks up at Liam, “I want to color!”

                Liam gasps, “You do?!” Madeline smiles as she nods, “that’s crazy because I want to color too!”

                “Me too!” Harry chimes in from the floor. Madeline looks very happy.

                “Follow me! The coloring table is over here!” Madeline takes back. Liam lingers until Harry’s up on his feet and he smiles dazedly at Harry.

                “What?” Harry demands, slightly confused. Liam smirks.

                “You do look pretty,” he tells his husband. Harry blushes but pushes him playfully.

                “Shut up,” they laugh and it’s only then that Harry remembers the social workers. They’re all looking at them and Harry can’t study their faces. He’s dying to know what they have written in their notes. Do they think that he’ll be a good dad? How do they think Madeline’s responding to them?

                “C’mon!” Madeline yells out for them. Harry looks over at the girl who’s pulling out handfuls of crayons out of a plastic container. Liam and Harry laugh breathlessly before walking over to her.

                The rest of their time is like that-constantly following Madeline around and doing whatever it is she wants to do. They color pictures of cartoon flowers, sailboats and mermaids. Harry’s rather impressed by how neat Madeline is at coloring. Liam and Harry share smiles in slow, quite moments. It just feels so right, the three of them being together. And it terrifies Harry’s so much.

                Next Madeline leads them over to a corner where a large, wooden doll house is propped up against the wall. Madeline hands Liam and Harry each a doll and comes up with some random story about the three dolls being best friends who need to find the magical unicorn. It’s silly, and childish, but Harry enjoys every second of it. Him and Liam pull obnoxiously high voices for their dolls and both have a hard time keeping their laughter concealed. Madeline eventually finds her way in Harry’s lap as the play and it takes everything within Harry not to cry.

                “I don’t like peas,” Madeline tells them while she sits in Liam’s lap. She hands Harry another book to read, this time it’s _The_ _Princess and the Pea_ , “and hate thunderstorms. They’re too loud.”

                Liam sighs, “Yeah, storms are pretty scary, uh?” Madeline wilts and nods somberly, “But guess what! Storms always end, even the really bad ones. Just remind yourself of that the next time there’s a storm, okay?”

                “Okay,” Madeline breathes out. Harry smiles kindly at her.

                “Are you two ready?” Madeline giggles and stomps her feet on the ground excitedly.

                “Yes, please!” Harry catches Liam’ fond gaze and knows their both properly full of affection for the little girl.

                By the time Harry’s on the last page, Asha is standing behind Liam.

                “Time’s up, I’m afraid.”

                Madeline pouts at Harry, “You’re leaving?” she questions brokenly and Harry so desperately wants to tell her no.

                “I’m afraid we are,” Liam says and Harry notices his voice is awfully soft.

                Madeline looks down at the ground, “Will you visit me again?” Liam desperately looks at Harry.

                “We’ll try too, definitely,” he says tightly. Harry plasters on a smile though his heart his aching, “It was nice meeting you Madeline. I’d love to see you again soon.”

                Madeline smiles fully, “Me too!” Liam chuckles as they stand up. Everything within Harry is telling him not to go. He’s just met Madeline and he doesn’t want to leave her. He wants to know everything about her.

                “Alright now, you take care Madeline. We’ll see you soon, okay?” Madeline surprises them by hugging Liam’s leg. Liam is startled at first but relaxes and hugs her back with a bright smile.

                “Bye Liam,” the girl mumbles. She turns to Harry and asks, “You’ll come back too, right?”

                Harry smirks, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo.” Madeline grins happily before hugging Harry’s leg tightly. Harry’s chest explodes and he perhaps squeezes her too hard but she doesn’t seem to mind. When he pulls back Madeline is taken away from the room by the other two social workers.  

~~~

                “Isn’t she amazing?” Harry gushes an hour or so later.

                They’re in a park somewhere in the city. Liam and Harry are too excited to just go back to their hotel so they decide to walk around and discover the city. They find a venter who sells soft pretzels and get one to share as the stroll down the bustling streets.              

                Liam swallows and smiles dopily, “She is! She’s just-god she’s so creative and smart.

                “And funny!” Harry adds excitedly, “Madeline’s so damn funny! God what a kid.” Liam smiles fore longingly on the ground.

                “Yeah,” he sighs, “she’s incredible.”

                Harry’s silent for a few minutes as they walk and take bites of their food, “Do you think we’ll get picked?”

                “God I hope we do,” Liam breathes out quickly and Harry smirks.

                “You were great with her.”

                Liam shakes his head, “Me? Harry you were amazing with Madeline. I couldn’t stop smiling every time you two interacted with each other.”

                “I’m trying so hard not to get my hopes up,” Harry whispers. Liam squeezes his hand between them.

                “Me too, darling,” he says just as soft. It’s busy all around them and yet Harry heard him so clearly.

                “I really like her, Liam,” Harry confesses, almost scared to admit it.

                Liam smirks sadly, “I do too.”

                Liam’s lying down on the ground with his head in Harry’s lap. It’s a nice enough day; it’s a bit nippy, but the sun is out and the leaves are dancing around them as the fall to the ground. Harry keeps plucking grass up from the ground and sprinkles them on Liam’s face. He giggles when Liam frowns up at him with bits of grass in his eyelashes.

                “Stop that,” Liam chides, but his lips break out into a wide smile. 

                Harry’s phone goes off then and Harry’s still laughing as he reaches in his pocket.

                “Hello?” he answers the call, not bothering to look at the ID.

                “Hello, Harry? This is Asha.”

                Harry freezes for a second before respond as he looks down at Liam, “Oh, hi Asha. How are you?”  Liam’s eyes widen as he sits up quickly.

                “Good, good. Thank you for asking. When are you and Liam leaving town?” Harry’s heart picks up its pace at the question.

                “Um, later tomorrow. Why?” he asks slowly.

                “The orphanage would like you and Liam to come back again for another visit with Madeline,” she tells him and Harry’s stomach flutters.

                “Yes, of course, yeah,” he answers quickly. Liam’s making wild gestures with furrowed eyebrows because he’s out of the loop. Harry smiles excitedly at him.

                “That’s great! Will nine in the morning work for you guys?”

                Harry nods, his cheeks hurt from smiling, “Yes that’s perfect. We’ll be there,” Liam tilts his head and mouths _‘what?’_ at Harry.

                “Good. Madeline will be outside when you guys get here tomorrow, if the weather’s nice. Someone will meet you outside in the front and take you around in the back since it’s fenced in and only the staff has keys to the gate, alright?”

                “Yes, yes. Thank you,” Asha seems to be smiling on the other end.

                “Have a good day, Mr. Payne. And tell Liam that too.”

                Asha hangs up and Harry’s joy has made tears form in his eyes.

                “Harry? Darling is everything alright?” Liam asks, his hands placed on Harry’s shoulders. Harry sniffles as he nods.

                “They want us to come back t-tomorrow,” he chokes out. Liam’s face morphs from confusion and concern into a beautiful joyous expression.

                “Really?”

                Harry nods again, “It’s for another visitation,” fat tears roll down Harry’s cheek, “w-we get to see her again!”

                Liam pulls Harry in for a hard hug and Harry breathes in his scent and the cold air with happy tears stinging his cheek.

~~~

                “Harry! Liam!” Madeline yells from the playground. Harry’s heart does summersaults in his chest. A smile billows on his lips when the girl runs over to them, “You’re back!”

                Liam laughs as he pets her hair, “We couldn’t wait to play with you again.” Madeline smiles at that. She turns to Harry and her eyes widen.

                “You took my braid out,” she says with betrayal on her small features. Harry feels incredibly guilty.

                “I’m sorry Madeline,” he puts on a cheery smile and promises, “you can put a new braid in today if you like.”

                Madeline ponders on this, “Hm, maybe later. I wanna go on the swings! Will you push me Liam? Harry can swing next to me.” Liam and Harry share a coy smile.

                “That sounds like a great idea,” Harry says and Madeline drags him by the hand to the swings.

                Madeline’s giggle is a pure music to Harry’s ears. He watches her fondly as Madeline whizzes up and down on the swing beside him. Liam eggs her on, claiming each time Madeline goes up that she’s gonna touch the sky. Harry feels that same excitement as she does too.

                They go on the playground set next. The other orphans are also playing outside as well and the older ones seem to be staring at Liam and Harry. Harry’s heart breaks for them a little. He wonders how long they’ve been at the orphanage and why they’re an orphan.

                But he can’t dwell on it for too long because Madeline declares a game of tag and Liam and Harry chase her around the playground. Eventually Harry nabs her and sweeps her off the ground. Madeline giggles as Harry spins her around with her legs flailed off to the side.

                Later on, Madeline wishes to look at the clouds. All three of them lay down on a patch of grass off to the side of the playground. The morning is cool and there are purple-y, grey clouds in the sky. Madeline claims each cloud formation as different shapes and objects such as snakes and ice cream cones. Harry loves her mind. She’s so innovative and creative.

                “Are you guys going to keep me?” Madeline asks timidly. Harry’s heart twists in his chest and thankfully Liam responds.

                “Do you mean adopt you?” Madeline nods.

                “Kelly said yesterday that you guys came to see me because you’re thinking about letting me live with you guys instead of living here,” she mumbles, “and she said you’d come back and get me if you wanted me.”

                Harry shares a pensive look with Liam. This is hard to explain to a child. Adoption is a complicated subject to adults. Harry thinks for a minute before speaking up.

                “Do you want us to adopt you?” Madeline eyes him unknowingly.

                “What’s an a-adoption?”

                “Well,” Liam puts on a kind face as he explains, “Adoption is when we’d be your parents and you’d be our child.”

                Madeline smiles brightly at that, “Oh, then yes! Do I get to leave with you today?” Harry chuckles, but he feels light and so incredibly happy his heart aches.

                “Not quite yet, I’m afraid,” Harry says kindly, “there are a lot of steps involved.”

                Madeline looks up at the clouds, “But…you want to keep me, yeah?” Harry’s lip wobbles because he does, he really wants to adopt Madeline. He wants to keep her but she’s not his to keep yet. God the poor girl has been living in this orphanage for so long and it’s just not fair.

                None of this is fair. It’s not fair that parents die or they don’t want their kids or can’t keep them for whatever reason. It’s not fair that they lock those kids in foster care and orphanages. It’s not fair that it’s so complicated and hard to adopt and there are all these rules.

                If a kid wants or needs a home and a couple wants to give that to them why does it need to be so complicated?

                “Harry? Liam?” Asha yells out to them. Harry picks himself up and looks over to where Asha is standing by the orphanage. She offers a sweet smile, “Can I talk to you two in my office?”

                Liam gives Harry a worried look.

                “Madeline,” Liam speaks to the child, “Harry and I need to talk to Asha. Why don’t you go play with for friend Kelly for a bit, hm?”

                Madeline frowns but stands up with the men and mumbles, “Okay,” before trotting off to the playground. Harry watches her leave with the words, _‘Of course I want keep you,’_ lodged in his throat.

                Liam and Harry find themselves following Asha down a deserted hallway a moment later. They’ve got their hands locked together in between them. The walls are covered in childish doodles on pages. Harry’s heart is in his throat; his stomach in knots once more. Liam gives him a soft smile as Asha leads them into her office.

                “Did you guys have fun on the playground?” the social worker asks then laughs lightly. Harry and Liam chuckles.

                “Yeah. Playing with Madeline was great! She’s an amazing kid,” Liam states, but his voice fades with uncertainty at the end. Asha nods.

                “Yes, that is what I wanted to talk to you two about,” she states, “Well, I’m sure you were told by Carol that there was another couple interested in Madeline.”

                Harry frowns at her word choice, “I’m sorry, did you say was?” Asha smirks.

                “I did indeed,” she almost hums, “The couple _was_ supposed to meet Madeline next week but we received a call yesterday after you two left that they had found another child they wanted to adopt, and are no longer interested in Madeline.”

                Harry’s heart is on the verge of bursting.  

                “I-what?” Liam questions. Asha smiles at the couple.

                “That’s why we invited you guys back so soon. We wanted to see more interaction between you guys and Madeline and confirm that you two are really the best fit for her,” she tells them with a large smile, “Myself and the other social workers we confident that you two will be great parents for Madeline and we’ve approved you guys for adoption.”

                Liam squeezes Harry’s hand harder; Harry can’t even move. He’s got tears in his eyes and he’s trying so hard not to get his hopes up. She could be really saying it, could she?

                “I-I,” Liam stutters, his voice shaky, “W-What are you saying?”

                Asha grants them mercy and smiles widely, “How would you guys like to be Madeline’s parents?”

                Harry’s chest heaves with relief and he crumples forward as tears start to come out of him. He’s weeping for joy is loud but he doesn’t care. He’s waited so long for this moment. He;s doubted this day would come. Part of Harry believed for so long that their child wasn’t out there; that having a kid wasn’t going to happen to them. But they’re approved for the adoption of a wonderful little girl and Harry can’t believe his luck.

                Liam tugs on Harry’s shoulders and pulls him into his chest, “Darling, d-did you hear that?” Liam stutters, his voice heavy with emotion, “we’re going be d-dads.”

                Harry looks up, eyes red and cheeks covered in tears, “W-We get to keep her.” Liam’s lips wobble as he smiles, eyes full of tears.

                “W-We get to keep her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this part! The next part will be about Madeline fitting into their family :)  
> ***PLEASE GIVE ME NICE COMMENTS AND KUDOS!***  
> The poem referenced in this part is called Love is not All or Sonnet #30 by Edna St. Vincent Mallay!  
> And the song referenced in this part is called obviously Be My Little Baby by the Ronettes!  
> Also feel free to follow me on tumblr!  
> My main tumblr is snapbacklilo  
> and my writing tumblr blog is the same names it is on here, thequietquill.  
> Take care :)


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy guys! Sorry for the long wait for this last part! I was busy with work and other fics and I didn't like how I started off this last part so I scratched it from the beginning and started over again.  
> BUT I am sooo proud of this story! It has a very special place in my heart and I am honored to have written it. Thank you so much for sticking with this story!  
> This part is incredibly sappy and cheesy and you might need some tissues! (there's also a little bit of smut too) AND THERE ARE A TON OF SURPRISES IN THIS BIT OMG!  
> For the last time for Be my little baby, please read and enjoy :)

*Three Years Later*

                “Liam!”

                Liam’s ears perk up at his husband’s call, and he stops shaving his face to stick his head out of the bathroom, “Yes, dear?”

                “Maddie left her backpack upstairs! Can you bring it with you when you come down, please?”

                Liam smiles at himself in the mirror, “Okay!” He yells back to Harry and continues to shave the rest of his face.

                Long gone are the days of just Liam and Harry. Their mornings are hectic now and their days seem to zip by quickly. Their weeks fill up with countless activities and appointments alike. Half the time it feels like they barely got a grip on their fast paced lives.

                But Liam loves every second of it, and he knows that Harry wouldn’t change any of it for the world either.

                Twenty minutes later, Liam’s stepping out onto the hallway as his hands struggle with knotting his tie. His foot lands on something and he looks down at it. He breathes out a tiny laugh and bends down to pick it up. It’s a small, beige bear with a stitched on smile and somehow happy eyes. The fur is a bit matted and dirty and the toy smells God awful but it makes Liam smile regardless.

                “Mr. Bear,” he sighs at the stuffed animal and carries down to Maddie’s room.

                Liam finds his daughter’s backpack by the door and picks it up. He’s kinda amazed as thinks about his life now, picking up toys and helping his daughter with homework. He shakes his head because breakfast is waiting and Maddie needs to get ready for school. He jogs down the steps, places Maddie’s backpack by the front door, and heads off to the kitchen.

                “You’ll never guess who I found right outside our door,” Liam remarks playfully to his husband. Harry stops plating breakfast and tilts his head up, a sign for Liam’s lips. Liam leans in briskly pecks Harry’s cheek. He’s still gorgeous, even if there’s a bit of coffee stain on his lips and there are deep bags under his eyes. Liam knows he has the hottest husband ever.

                “What?” Harry ponders, and Liam shows him Mr. Bear. Harry grins, “Ah yes. He must have dropped it when he walked in our room last night.”

                Liam rolls his eyes, “Darling, you know we can’t keep letting him in the bed.”

                “I know,” Harry pouts, “but he’s my baby.”

                “Bear!”

                Liam turns to his two year old son sitting in his high chair. The boy is too cute for his own good. He has beautiful, rich dark skin with big brown eyes and a fuzzy little afro on top. There are mashed up bits of bananas in his tiny little hands as making grabby motions at Liam. It’s just precious and it makes Liam’s heart swell.

                But Liam puts on his serious dad look, “Sammy, you have to finish breakfast before you can play with Mr. Bear.”

                At that, the boy angrily throws his bowl of dry cereal on the ground. The two fathers gasp.

                “Samuel Edward Payne,” Harry huffs and sighs as he goes to clean it up. Liam’s hand on his chest stops him.

                “I got it babe,” Liam insists as he kneels down. Harry shakes his head.

                “Li, you need to eat and you need to leave soon and-”

                “And you need to eat,” Liam insists. He smiles softly up at his husband, “Babe, you’ve been working so hard lately. Just sit down, eat and relax for a moment, okay? I’ve got this.”

                Harry nods in relief and sinks down onto a chair. Liam cleans up the damned ‘O’ shaped cereal pieces, and throws them away just as Maddie trots into the room.

                “Morning Papa,” Maddie greets him. Liam grins and bends down so his daughter can kiss his cheek.

                “Morning, love,” he says, “breakfast is at your spot on the table.”

                Maddie happily skips over to Harry and gives him a big hug. Liam watches from his spot by the sink as Maddie kisses Samuel on the forehead and sits down beside him. Liam stays there for a moment and watches his little family eat. Maddie’s telling Harry about what she’s working on in art class. Harry quickly reminds her that she has a soccer game after school while helping Sammy get pieces of bananas in his mouth inside. Maddie hums through a mouthful of eggs and Sammy bangs his hands on the highchair table and Harry. God Harry is smiling in the midst of the chaos and Liam knows he must be grinning like a fool too.

                Looking back, Liam never pictured having a family has incredible as the one he has now.

~~~

                _Liam finished writing his signature on the last line on the last page of a very large and very official document. Their lawyer explained all the papers in great length a while back but it all just meant one thing:_

_Maddie was officially their daughter._

_Harry looked relieved and immensely happy when Liam set the pen down on the table, having finished signing the documents moments before. They hugged each other with tears in their eyes as one of the paralegals leaves the room to fetch their daughter._

_They have a daughter now. Liam was just in awe._

_Harry jumped out of his seat when Maddie walked in the room and Liam followed closely behind. Harry knelt down and hugged Maddie tightly. Liam knelt down behind the girl and wrapped his arms around her, his hands gripping onto Harry as the men cried happy tears._

_Liam finally got his little family and he didn’t want to let go anytime soon._

_But Maddie somehow managed to wiggle about until the two men broke away. She turned to Liam with wide, joyful eyes._

_“Can we go home now?” She asked innocently. Harry’s eyes were still shining as he looked over to Liam. Liam grinned and nodded._

_“Yeah, let’s go home.”_

~~~

                Liam’s cursing as he pulls into the school parking lot. He’s only got minutes before Maddie’s game starts. He knows Harry will be upset if he’s not on the sideline when the game starts. In his defense, Liam’s meeting went way over time and traffic was a nightmare.

                But Liam’s here, at his daughter’s soccer game with his suit on all but running towards the soccer field.

                Liam spots Harry and Sammy with ease and he can’t help but chuckle a little. Harry’s sitting in a foldable chair with a spare one next to him for Liam. Sammy’s in his lap and Harry’s struggling to hold onto the squirming boy and the glittery sign Harry made that says, ‘GO MADDIE!’ on it.

                God his husband is perfect.

                “There you are,” Harry sighs happily when Liam approaches them.

                Liam mutters an apology as he leans over and kisses Harry on the cheek, “Hey babe. Yeah, sorry I’m late. My meeting went longer then expected and traffic was awful. I didn’t even have time to go home and change.”

                “Doesn’t matter,” Harry grins, “you’re here now, that’s all that matters. The game’s just about to start.”

                Liam smiles as he reaches over and takes Sammy, “How was he today?” Harry sighs and shakes his head with a fond smile.

                “He keeps throwing things,” Harry huffs, “I don’t like it.” Liam scoffs.

                “Darling, Sammy’s a toddler! He’s just playing.”

                Harry frowns, “I still don’t like it,” Liam chuckles and kisses Harry’s cheek again. Sammy’s babbling draws Liam’s attention and he smirks down at his boy.

                “Hey little man! You wanna say hi to Mads?”

                “Ma!” Sammy squeals and the men giggle. Sammy has a high pitch voice that is just adorable. He can’t quite say Maddie yet, so he calls his sister Ma. Maddie’s good with it, and Liam and Harry find it adorable.

                Liam scans over the soccer field and spots Maddie. She’s decked out in her team’s colors (purple and yellow) and has her red hair in a high ponytail. She looks over to the sidelines and spots her family. Maddie waves to them excitedly and they all wave back, even Sammy does so with help from Liam.

                The game starts and Maddie is giving it her all. There’s a sense of pride that runs through Liam’s chest as he sees his daughter out on the field passing the ball to her teammates and running down the field chasing the ball. He’s sitting with husband and their son in their lap, watching their daughter play in a soccer game and part of Liam still can’t wrap his head around their new and wonderful life.

                The game is almost done, with Maddie’s team ahead by one point. Maddie has the ball and both Liam and Harry are on the edge of their chairs as she dribbles down the field, faster then her competitors. Harry’s shouting out praises and Liam’s just trying to make sure he doesn’t jump up and startle Sammy.

                Maddie’s just a few feet away from the goal with a girl on the competing team barrels into her. Liam’s heart stops when he sees his daughter hit the ground hard. Liam doesn’t even realize he’s up on his feet nearly running to his daughter until he’s halfway there and can hear his daughter sobbing through the crowd of Maddie’s teammates and her coaches.

                “Pa-pa,” she wails when she sees him. Liam kneels down beside her and grimaces when he sees her swollen ankle. Sammy is restless in Liam’s arms and Harry kneels down in front of her leg and eyes it closely.

                “Oh Mads,” he sighs and looks up to his daughter, “It hurts a lot, yeah?” Maddie nods, tears slipping down her cheeks, “Okay, love. Papa and daddy are here and we’re gonna take you home now.”

                Harry takes Maddie’s cleats off and picks her up in his arms. Liam gives Harry the keys to his car and they quickly sort out a plan, Liam will take Harry’s car since it has Sammy’s car seat in it, along with the fold up chairs. But Liam will need stop on the way home to a drug store to pick up some medicine and bandage wrap for Maddie’s ankle. Liam kisses Maddie on her forehead and watches Harry carry her off to the parking lot.

                Nearly an hour later, Liam’s carrying Sammy into their house along with three bags of groceries. Maddie’s on the couch in her pjs with her hair wet and her ankle propped on a pillow with an ice pack over it. Liam sets Sammy down, who trots over to his big sister while babbling on. Maddie smirks and pets the little afro growing on his head.

                Liam finds Harry in the kitchen, making a stir fry for dinner.

                “Hey,” Liam greets his husband, “How is she?”

                Harry sighs, “She stopped crying when I gave her a quick bath,” he explains, “it’s a sprain, a bit swollen. She’ll be fine a days. She cried so hard on the way home she was having trouble breathing.”

                “I was worried about that,” Liam sighs, “with her anxiety and all.” Harry nods curtly.

                “I promised her dinner in front of the TV,” he says, “we’re watching _Little Mermaid_.”

                Liam grins, “Sounds like the perfect evening,” and he holds up the bags, “I got Maddie some bandages, along with some kids pain meds and some of her favorite ice cream. I figured that would cheer her up. I also noticed this morning we were low on diapers some I got some more.”

                “Thanks babe,” Harry kisses Liam swiftly before Liam leaves to go help Maddie.

                The evening ends with Liam on one side of the couch and Harry on the other end. The Little Mermaid is just ending but neither one of the kids make to the end of the movie. Sammy drifted off first in Harry’s arms and Maddie tuckered out before _Kiss The Girl_ with her head on Liam’s lap. Both the husbands share a content look before tugging their kids up to bed.

~~~

                _“Is she asleep?” Liam asked as Harry walked into their room. Liam blinked his heavy eyes and noticed that their clock said almost three. Harry sighed and nodded as he plopped down heavily on the bed._

_“She’s finally asleep,” Harry stated, his voice horsed. Liam sighed in relief and rubbed his forehead._

_“Why is she having night terrors?” Liam wondered and Harry shrugged._

_“She’s in a new environment,” Harry stated, “Maybe she’s not used to us yet. I mean, I know she wants us, at least I think she does. It’s just-she was used to the orphanage and sharing her room. So much has changed for her.”_

_Liam bit his lip and nodded stiffly. They were warned about Maddie adjusting to her new life and that it would be a lot to take on at first. When Maddie first got home, she was very quiet and aloof. She didn’t know the house at all and where things were kept. She walked around the house like she was stepping on glass in a haunted house, eyes bugged out and she flinched at anything unfamiliar. Maddie hardly ate either and mostly stayed in her room. Liam and Harry didn’t know how to take this at first. Liam tried to be hopeful throughout it all but it was hard to do so. And Harry soldiered on, insisting that everything was fine._

_Maddie had been home a month and her state hadn’t improved._

_“I think she hates us,” Liam admitted somberly. Harry turned to his husband, eyes horrified at the statement. Liam sighed heavily, “H, she barely speaks to us. And like-her friends where back at that orphanage. W-We took her away from her home.”_

_Shaking his head, Harry crawled onto Liam’s lap, “No-no, no. Don’t, no,” He cupped Liam’s face, both men’s eyes shined with tears, “We’re her home. Maddie’s our home and we’re hers too, got it?” Liam breathed weakly._

_“This is, so much harder then I thought it would be,” Liam sniffled, “She was s-so happy to come home and now-now it’s like we’re not even a f-family.”_

_Harry let out a tiny whine and pulled Liam into his chest, “We’re a family. We are a perfect, w-wonderful family.” Liam shook his head and gripped onto his husband._

_“I-I feel like such a shitty father,” he confessed brokenly._

_“Liam,” Harry replied, mortified, “Don’t say that-you’re terrific.”_

_Liam shook his head again, “No, H.”_

_“Yes, Liam,” Harry said firmly. Liam looked up into his husband’s eyes, drenched with tears and red from exhaustion and so incredibly lovely and perfect. Harry’s thumbs caught the tears under Liam’s eyes, “It’s really tough right now, but it’ll get easier. I-I promise you-we’ll all be one, happy little f-family. It just needs time, Maddie needs time. Just give her and this family some time.”_

_Liam nodded weakly and Harry kissed him softly and swiftly. Liam trusted Harry and wanted to badly to believe that everything would be fine. He just hoped that Maddie would be so much happier with them and it wasn’t the case._

_But when Liam woke up the next morning, the sun peaking through their curtains, Maddie was in between him and Harry. She was facing Liam looked so peaceful in her sleep. Liam was surprised and timidly brushed the hair out of her face. Thankfully it was a Saturday and Liam took the advantage to fall back asleep that morning, with one arm around his daughter._

_It was a start._

~~~

                Harry is sitting at the table when Liam gets home. He’s by himself, which Liam thinks is odd. He walks over to the table and sets his briefcase down on the table.

                “Hey darling,” Liam greets him and leans in to kiss Harry’s forehead. Harry smiles brightly up at him.

                “Hi.”

                “Where are the kids?” Liam asks as he slips off his tie. Harry bites back a smile.

                “Nicola picked them up. Bella’s wanted a playdate for a while now,” He’s still got on this dorky, cartoonish grin that Liam can only laugh at.

                “Harry, what is going on?” Liam asks. Harry sighs happily.

                “I’m number-one,” he breathes out. Liam frowns so Harry farther explains, “My book, it,” Harry’s lips wobbles, “Li, it’s number one on the New York Best Seller’s List.”

                Liam’s suddenly smiling like a cartoon, “Really!?” Harry nods.

                “Niall told me about it an hour ago.” Liam sputters a surprised laugh and shakes his head.

                “Harry this is, I,” he looks at Harry with the fondest gaze, “I’m so proud for you Harry! You’ve worked so hard on this book and it’s so good and-”

                “There’s more,” Harry says and Liam nearly collapses.

                “How can anything possibly top that news, H?”

                Harry grins, “Niall booked me a spot on the Today Show to talk about my book.” Liam’s eyes widen, “It’s in two weeks and I know like. You just got promoted and it’s super busy at your job but the show would pay for it our hotel and the flight for all of us and. We’d need to get Maddie out of school because the show they-they want our family there and. I know you’re busy and-”

                “Harry,” Liam chuckles as he cups Harry’s face, “This is more important-you are more important! I can get out of work, don’t worry about me. We’ll figure everything out later. But right now, I wanna know why we’re not jumping up and down and screaming our heads off.”

                Harry flashes a nervous grin, “I guess. I just feel like this can’t be real, ya know? Like I’ve dreamt about writing a best seller for so long and now I have and I can’t believe I actually did it.”

                “You’re so talented, babe,” Liam tells him with a smile, “It was bound to happen at some point. And you worked really hard on this book and you-” Liam sighs in awe and presses his head against Harry’s, “You are incredible. Being a stay at home dad, working for the local paper and somehow managing to write a best selling book. I don’t know how you do it all, H. You manage to make so much time for all of us and for your article and squeezed in a book too,” Liam admits softly, “I am in awe of you, darling. You never cease to blow me away.”

                Harry flushes madly, “Thank you Li.” Liam smiles as an idea strikes his thoughts.

                “C’mon,” he sighs, getting up from Harry’s lap. He pulls Harry up to his feet and Harry frowns as he follows his husband to the mudroom.

                “What’s happening?” Harry asks.

                Liam grins widely, “We’re picking up our kids from my sister and we’re going out to celebrate. Any place you want to go babe, we’ll go there.” Harry giggles.

                “Li,” he whines through a smile, “That’s not necessary.”

                “It is,” Liam insists as he tosses Harry his jacket, “This is a big deal Harry and we’re gonna celebrate as a family. Speaking of, have you told your mother and sister?”

                Harry shakes his head, “No, um. I just wanted a quiet night-just us, ya know? I just, Mom and Gem’s will want to throw a big party and invite everyone who’s ever met me and I just,” he smiles softly at his husband, “I wanted to peaceful night with you and our kids.” Liam smiles and pecks his husband on the lips.

                “Then you shall have that,” Liam tells him and then his gaze darkens, “and tonight, when the kids are asleep, I’m gonna show you just how proud I am of you.” Harry’s breath hitches and Liam grins wickedly.

                “You’re awful,” Liam chuckles and tells Harry.

                “And you’re wonderful.”

                Harry blushes madly and Liam is so beyond in love with Harry he can’t even express it properly.

~~~

                _“Papa?”_

_Liam stopped the text he was typing out to Harry and looked at his daughter, “Yes, hun?”_

_“What are they doing?” Maddie asked, and pointed towards a group of young men playing soccer in the open field behind the park._

_Truthfully, it was Harry’s idea for Liam to take Maddie to the park. Maddie had been with them for nearly two months now and she was getting better. She was talking more to both of them and seemed to be getting used to her new home. But she clearly favored Harry more then Liam. Liam tried not to be offended by this. Harry stayed at home with her so of course they spent more time together. She was so bubbly around Harry but would hardly speak to Liam. Maddie felt more comfortable around Harry then Liam…._

_Liam couldn’t think about that._

_“They’re playing soccer,” Liam explained, “it’s a sport. Have you played it before?”_

_Maddie shook her head._

_Liam then asked, “Do you want to play soccer, Maddie?”_

_Maddie hesitated before nodding._

_“Alright,” Liam sighed and got up from the swing, “First we’ll need a soccer ball.”_

_And so they got one. Liam took Maddie to a toy store nearby and let her pick out a soccer ball. She chose a lime green and purple ball. When they got home, Liam used his bicycle pump to inflate the ball in the garage as Maddie watched closely. Once the ball was fully inflated, Liam took Maddie to the back yard and placed the ball in the middle of the yard._

_They spend hours outside with Liam gently teaching Maddie the ropes of soccer. He was excited to see how quickly she got hooked to the sport and how good she was naturally. Liam made the spot between two trees the goal and Maddie made so many goals that Liam lost track._

_(Granted, Liam kinda let her score on him but Maddie didn’t need to know that)._

_Liam gives Maddie a piggy back ride inside when Harry called them in for dinner. Liam sat through their meal and watch as Maddie excitedly went on about her day. Later on when the moon was low in the sky and Maddie was tucked in bed she insisted that Liam read her a nighttime story, which Liam did so happily._

_And when Liam drifted off to sleep that night, he had his first peaceful night’s rest in ages._

_A new leaf had turned._

~~~

                “L-Li,” Harry sighs breathlessly into Liam’s neck. Harry’s close, Liam can tell and he doesn’t blame his husband for it. He’s been teasing Harry for a while now and they haven’t had sex in ages so Liam’s hope is to please his husband.

                His _New York Times Best Selling Author_ husband.

                Liam is still in awe.

                Liam’s hands untangle themselves from Harry’s neck and move down to Harry’s hips. He gripes them in his palms and Harry’s movements come to a stop. Liam bites back a moan when Harry starts nibbling his ear as he picks up his hips once more, slowly rotating on the command of Liam’s hands. Liam moves Harry on his cock and Harry just lets him. It’s like Harry doesn’t even have to think-he trusts Liam so immensely he doesn’t even question him.

                And Liam wouldn’t darn break that trust.

                “Y-You’re so perfect, darling,” Liam rasps, the sweat on his lips drops to his tongue. Harry whimpers in his lap, his body trembles as Liam continues to control his husband’s hips. They’re going slow, maybe painfully slow, but Liam just wants to savor this a little bit longer. They rarely get to do this now and Liam just wants to remember every detail. Harry’s eyes are closed tightly and his mouth parted beautifully and Liam thinks he’s stunning.

                Liam can feel it when his cock brushes against Harry’s spot and feels his husband flutter around him. Harry gasps, “Liam!” And it’s just a little too loud, considering the kids are just down the hall. Liam kisses him to keep his husband quiet.

                “I’d love to hear you baby, you know I would,” Liam mumbles until his voice breaks into a gasp, his hips canting up radically, “But we need to be quiet. Can you be good and quiet for me darling?”

                Harry nods as he licks the sweat off his lips, “I-I’m close,” he mumbles lowly.

                “Me too babe,” Liam promises, his hips moving quickly. He smiles dopily as his stomachs starts to coil tightly from pleasure, “God, babe. You’re so good, always good. Perfect, you’re so f-fucking perfect. I love every bite of you darling. Love making you come, let me see you come. Please-you’re so beautiful, darling let me see you-”

                Harry falls apart in Liam’s lap and comes then, marking Liam’s lower abs with his come. Liam breathes a sharp breath as his husband tightens harshly around him and he comes a second later, his mouth blubbering Harry’s name in a weak whisper.

                A few minutes past, and Harry’s sleepily sound in Liam’s arms. They’re still catching their breaths and the sweat on their skins is drying slowly but Liam’s in such a euphoric state he can’t bring himself to do anything but kiss his husband’s hair.

                “I’m so proud of you,” Liam says fondly, and yeah. He knows he’s said this and variations of this a million times today but it never loses it’s meaning for Liam. He’s so happy for his husband and is happy that Harry is his husband.

                Harry laughs breathlessly and looks up at Liam with heavy, yet perfectly beautiful and happy eyes, “You sound like a broken record, babe.” Liam smirks.

                “Then what should I be saying, dear?” Harry ponders on this before a slow smile laces his lips.

                “I’m proud of us,” Harry says in a hushed voice. Liam’s smile deepens as Harry goes on, “I’m proud of what we’ve created. I’m proud to have two wonderful children with your last name. I’m proud to be your husband.”

                And fuck, Liam has tears in his eyes. 

                But so does Samuel apparently because a cry comes from his room to disturb the moment. The men chuckle and Harry moves to leave their bed, but Liam stops them.

                “It’s my turn,” Liam insists. Harry tilts his head.

                “No it’s not.”

                Liam grins, “Just stay here and go to sleep, babe.” He leans in and gives a quick peck to his husband before getting out of bed.

                Sammy’s standing in his crib when Liam gets there. His tiny hands are gripped onto the railing and fat tears are rolling down his little, chubby cheeks. Liam coos at him as he approaches the crib and Sammy reaches up for him.

                “P-Pa,” he wails and Liam’s heart clinches in his chest.

                “What’s wrong Sammy?” he asks him quietly as he picks up the boy. Sammy sniffles and tucks his head under Liam’s chin. Liam feels the outside of Sammy’s diaper and hums, “So you didn’t go potty,” Liam moves his head so his chin is against his son’s forehead, “And you don’t feel like you have a fever.”              

                “Pa,” Sammy says, his little sleepy voice determined. Liam smirks.

                “Was that it, bud? Did you miss your papa?” Sammy makes an agreeing sound and curls himself farther into Liam’s chest. Liam smiles and hums songs until he’s sure the boy is sound asleep again. He kisses Sammy before placing him back in the crib.

                When Liam gets back into his room, Harry’s in a deep sleep. He’s stunning, even when he’s peacefully asleep and far away dreaming. Liam climbs into bed and wraps his arms around his husband. He sleeps well, feeling that everything in their lives is just perfect.

~~~

_Harry had been in a bit of a rut for a few months. His heart just wasn’t into his writings, at all._

_It’s been a few months since Maddie joined the Payne clan. It was rough at first, way harder then Harry could ever imagine but things are finally calming down. Maddie was doing well and every day Harry gets to see different aspects and traits to his daughter that he didn’t know before. She finally was getting along with Liam swimmingly and they played soccer for hours and hours on end most days._

_Harry found himself staring more at his husband and their daughter playing soccer in their backyard then actually focusing on his writing. His publisher wanted something new, another story from him and honestly, Harry didn’t know if he had it in him to write. He wanted a kid for so long, and now they had one. He just wanted to waste his days tangled up in his daughter’s made up stories. He wanted to capture her every laugh, her every smile. H wanted to teach Maddie how to spell Scrabble and make cookies with her._

_Harry had a moment of clarity one day in his office. Again, Harry was watching Liam and Maddie playing soccer in their backyard and he was so grateful that his desk in his office faced the yard. Liam was chasing Maddie around and Harry could hear his daughter’s precious laugh from outside. He saw her smile when Liam caught her in his arms and twirled her around and Harry couldn’t stop smiling. Everything within him wanted to be outside with them. He wanted to play with his daughter, that’s all he wanted. He wanted the stinging memories of his and Liam’s struggles to adopt long gone. He wanted to fill his days with Maddie’s presence._

_Harry had an epiphany, right then and there._

_He opened up his laptop. He stared at the blank page for a few seconds as his thoughts collected before he typed out the title of the story that came to him:_

_**Finding Maddie**_

~~~

                “No Sammy,” Maddie sighs annoyingly, “You’re doing it wrong.”

                Sammy shakes his head, “I right,” and throws the tiny, plush basketball in his hands over to the side. It makes all the adults laugh from their spot on the porch. Maddie groans loudly and goes after the ball.

                “Mads, he’s just playing!” Liam yells to her, “Go easy on your brother.”

                “But’s he’s doing it wrong!” she reasons.

                Harry chimes in, “Be nice, Maddie!” he warns. Maddie sighs heavily and picks up the ball.

                “I’ll go keep an eye on them,” Geoff offers. Harry looks at his father-in-law gratefully.

                “Thanks Geoff,” he tells him before Geoff heads off to where the kids are. Harry looks over to Karen, who’s beaming at him.

                “I can’t believe you guys are off to New York in two days!” she practically squeals in delight. Harry chuckles fondly; he just adores all his in-laws, but Karen has a bigger piece of his heart. She’s just a sweetheart and is constantly checking up on them.

                Liam laughs, “I know it’s crazy,” He glances over to Harry, “I just proud that Harry’s book is doing so well.” Harry shrugs.

                “It took a while, but we got there,” he says and Anne can’t seem to stop smiling.

                “I just can’t believe this is all happening,” she boasts, “My baby’s written a best seller and his entire family is going to be on TV!”

                “I know!” Karen says and damn there are tears in her eyes and Harry can’t have that. She’s a crier and Harry is too and he can’t have that.

                Liam sighs, “Mom, please don’t cry. I can’t handle two Paynes crying.” Everyone laughs and Harry smacks Liam’s chest with the back of his hand.

                “Hey!” Geoff yells from the yard, gaining everyone’s attention, “If anyone starts crying I’ll cry and I’m an ugly crier!”

                Karen shouts at him, “Oh, shut it Geoff!” she turns to Harry, her eyes welled up with tears, “I’m just so proud of you is all, dear.” Harry swallows thickly and forces his emotions away.

                “T-Thanks Karen,” he coughs and looks sheepishly to the ground, “Truth be told, I’m terrified I’m gonna muck up on live TV.”

                “You won’t sweetie,” Anne assures him.

                Harry shakes his head, “But I’ll probably mumble my words or I’ll say some stupid sh-I mean, stupid words,” Harry corrects himself, not wanting to swear in front of the kids, “I just, I can’t screw this up. This is, like so big.”

                “Babe,” Liam places his sturdy hand on Harry’s thigh. He’s heard all this before, he knows Harry’s scared out of his mind. As usually, he’s being the calm, cool and collected about the whole thing and that eases Harry’s mind, “I’ve told you this before, if anything bad happens while on TV, I’ll drop my pants to take the pressure off.”

                Their moms laugh at him and say he’s being ridiculous, but Harry knows Liam’s dead serious. He would do something like that, just for him. Harry knows he got so lucky to have Liam as his husband.

                “Thank you,” Harry whispers, voice choked up. Liam winks at him.

~~~

                _They had Maddie for just over a year when the idea to adopt again came up._

_Carol had kept in touch with them. She and Asha checked in on the Paynes to see how fatherhood was treating them. They helped out the new parents a lot and eased their minds about Maddie’s adjustment to her new life._

_Everything was perfect really. Maddie started school and it took some time but she was making some friends and joined the soccer team at school. She mentioned an interest in art, so Harry signed her up for an art class at the community center and she loved it. Maddie was growing quickly, way too quickly for Harry and Liam’s liking but it’s wonderful to see he confidence grow. They’ve had to deal with Maddie’s anxiety and they learned over time some of her triggers but overall, she was managing her anxiety fairly well. And if that changed in the future, Harry and Liam were more then prepared to do whatever was needed for Madeline._

_They were content with the idea that it would be just the three of them in their clan._

_But fate had other plans._

_Harry answered his cell one day before looking to see who it was, “Hello?”_

_“Harry?”  Harry stopped reading his newest article in the Chicago Tribute and smiled at his husband beside him on the couch._

_“Hi Carol!” Liam stopped tapping away on his laptop and looked over to Harry with curious eyes._

_“Is this a good time?” Carol asked._

_Harry nodded, “Yes.”_

_“Is Liam there, too?” Harry chuckled at that._

_“Of course he is! Here, I’ll put you on speaker,” Harry pressed the button and Liam moved closer to him on the couch._

_Carol went on, “How’s Maddie doing?”_

_“She’s great!” Liam said proudly, “She aced her science test the other day.”_

_“And she painted Asha a picture,” Harry grinned, “We’re mailing it, so don’t tell Asha.”_

_“Noted,” Carol said and she sounded happy._

_“So why are you calling us at eight-thirty at night?” Harry asked, not knowing what to expect._

_Carol was silent before blurting out, “Do you want anymore kids?”_

_Liam and Harry stared at each other for a long time before Liam finally admitted, “I…We don’t know. I mean, we never liked-talked about it.”_

_Harry nodded, face stoic, “Yeah, I mean. For so long we were just focused on getting one kid. We never really thought about having more then one.”_

_“Why are you asking us this?” Liam asked, but Harry had an idea why she was asking them this._

_“I have this boy,” Carol told them, “This precious little newborn baby born, who was left at the hospital by his mom.”_

_Harry gasped, “Oh no!” He tried not to judge. Maybe this boy’s mother was sick or couldn’t afford to keep the child. Maybe she wanted her son, but knew she couldn’t be the best parent for him. Harry just couldn’t think that someone would willingly abandon their child._

_“Poor kid,” Liam whispered, his voice breaking. Carol sighed over the phone._

_“Yeah that’s the hardest part of this job. This little boy keeps crying and he’s confused and I just,” she paused, “I kinda hoped that you guys were interested in adopting another kid.”_

_And that was the beginning of a whole new branch growing on their family tree._

~~~

                “You’re okay, darling,” Liam reminds his husband while balancing Sammy on his thigh.

                The Paynes’ look sharp as ever. Harry picked out all their outfits for this interview because he’s good at that sort of thing and as usual, Harry’s done a very good job. They’re all wearing navy blue and greys with brown accents. Maddie looks too grown up in a navy blue dress that matches her Papa’s suit. Harry styled her hair with a side braid and silver flower clips in her hair. She keeps saying she looks beautiful and Liam can only agree eagerly because it’s the truth.

                Sammy was rather fussy this morning and wouldn’t let Liam put on the little grey suit jacket that goes with his outfit. So the parents compromised and settled for the plain white short sleeved button up with grey pants and a navy blue bow tie. He matches Harry’s grey suit well, but Harry’s not wearing a tie and has on a navy blue button up instead with the top couple of buttons left undone.

                Liam thinks their clan is perfect.

                Harry sighs and rubs his hands on his thighs, “I-I can’t do this, Liam.”

                “Yes you can,” Liam insists. Sammy’s babbling on in Liam’s lap and tugs on Liam’s black tie for fun, “Just-Harry, this is not that hardest thing you’ve ever gone through, okay? They’re just going to talk to you about your book, which you love doing and you should be. Enjoy this sweetheart, you deserve the spotlight,” Harry looks at his husband fondly.

                “I love you, you know,” Harry tells him. Liam smirks, positive his eyes are shimmering.

                “I know.”

                Just then their interviewer, Cassandra Lang, comes to the set and greets them. She talks to the family and goes over the questions she sent Harry a few days prior. Liam can see Harry relax a bit as the producers tell them they’re rolling in one minute.

                “Maddie,” Liam leans down to his daughter, “remember what we told ya?”

                Maddie nods, “Don’t wiggle and smile pretty.” Liam grins and kisses her forehead.

                “Good girl.”

                Sammy tugs on Liam’s tie and protests, “Me too!” Liam chuckles and kisses his son’s cheek.

                When Liam looks up at Harry, he has this beckoning look as well. Liam rolls his eyes playfully and leans over Maddie to peck Harry on the lips.

                “You got this,” Liam tells him on last time.

                And then it starts.

                “Four years ago, author Harry Styles-Payne and his husband, Liam, were struggling to adopt. They went through several failed adoptions over the course of five years and things looked bleak for the two of them,” Cassandra smiles at the camera and Liam and Harry can’t help but smile too, “But their luck would turn in their favor. Now the father of two children, Harry Styles-Payne wrote a book on their long struggle with adoption titled _Finding Maddie_ , which is the couples’ oldest daughter and their first adopted child. We joined today by the best selling author along with his partner Liam and their children Madeline and Samuel,” she turns to them, “Hello everyone!”

                Maddie blurts out, “Hi!” Everyone in the room chuckles and the interviewer plays along.

                “Well hello to you!” She chuckles and looks to Harry, “so this is the infamous Maddie, hm?”

                Harry grins fondly and pats his daughter’s shoulder, “Yeah, this is her.”

                “Now, I’ve read your book, Harry, and it is just,” she moves her hand and looks for the right words, “Moving and so incredibly heartbroken too. It took you and your husband a long time to find Maddie, yes?” Harry nods tightly.

                “Yes, we had five failed opportunities for adoption over the course of five years or so,” he explains, “We tried surrogacy twice, the first time we lost the baby and the second time feel through early in the process,” Liam swallows thickly and briefly thinks about that whole situation all those years ago. Harry doesn’t know the whole story and that’s not fair to him. Liam knows he needs to tell his husband the truth.

                “Then there where three kids we were looking into adopting but they fell through for various reasons,” Harry goes on, “I just hope those kids have loving homes now, but at the time these adoptions didn’t work out in our favor, I was devastated.”

                Cassandra nods, “Yes, you wrote that in your book. You went through depression and anxiety?”

                “Mainly depression,” Harry says, “We had to wait a while until I got better before we tried going through the adoption process again.”

                “What encouraged you two to keep trying?” Cassandra asks.

                Harry looks over at his husband and smiles brightly, “Well, Liam was my biggest cheerleader. He fed me when I couldn’t do that. He was always my solid ground when I felt like things were crumbling. He was my voice of reasoning when my head was full of doubt and negativity. He’s always been my rock and I knew I wanted a family with him and he assured me that we would have one together someday.”

                Liam has tears in his eyes but Sammy’s squealing in his lap keeps his emotions in check. Cassandra smiles softly at them.

                “And look at you now,” she boasts and Harry laughs, his voice shaky.

                “Yeah,” He looks at his kids with such pride, “They were always supposed to be with us. And it was so worth the wait.”

                “I’m glad to hear that,” the interviewer says happily, “Now, your book Harry has become a must read in the LGBT+ community. A lot of couples sympathize with your story and your struggle to adopt. And there’s still this big debate on whether or not homosexual couples should be able to adopt or not and if they make good parents. What do you have to say on the system of adoption in today’s world?”

                Harry pauses before commenting, “Well, I think the system isn’t perfect. There are kids who need loving homes and some homosexual couples can and are willing to provide homes for them but there are still cases of prejudice against them because it’s not “traditional” or “ideal” for a child to be raised with two dads or two moms or a trans parent.

                “But the thing is, that doesn’t matter-or at least it shouldn’t. There are far too many kids in need of a home. All that matters is if that environment is loving and safe for the child. The parents’ sexuality or sexual identity shouldn’t take a huge consideration. My children are loved, so incredibly loved. We take care of them. If they’re hurt, we tend to their wounds. If they’re hungry, we feed them. If they’re cold, we give them a blanket or a sweater. If they want you to be a dragon that they slay during play time, we are the best dragons the world has ever seen.”

                Cassandra chuckles at this but Liam. Liam knows Harry’s gonna hit the hammer on the nail pretty soon. Harry smiles politely.

                “Any good parent does whatever is necessary for their child-regardless of their sexuality or identity,” he says, “What makes me different from a straight father or even a mother? Nothing. I’m providing for my children and me and my husband are giving them a loving, happy and stable home. That’s what makes a good parent a good parent, not if they’re in a heterosexual relationship or not.”

                Liam smirks and reaches over to wrap his arm behind Liam’s neck. He’s so incredibly proud of his husband that he needs to touch him somehow.

                “You make a valid point, Harry,” Cassandra smirks, “Now, are you currently thinking about writing a book about how you found your two year old son, Sammy?”

                Harry chuckles and shrugs, “I might be working on something, yeah. But don’t expect anything any time soon. Our lives are very busy at the moment so trying to raise the kids and write a book is a lot of work. Just give me some time.”

                Cassandra looks over to Liam, “Liam, can you tell us how you feel about the success of your husband book and your story?”

                “Wow,” Liam breathes out and shakes his head in amazement, “I still can’t believe how many people actually bought this book. I mean, I know it’s incredibly written and Harry’s done a lot of work on it but, we’re just normal men. I work in finance and Harry’s a stay at home father. Our lives aren’t that interesting.”

                “But it is!” Cassandra insists, “It must be now, with your two gorgeous children and juggling your lives along with theirs.”

                Liam laughs, “Oh it is. I’m just saying that like, we aren’t famous or anything. We live relatively quiet, simple lives. So when Harry’s book took off, I was both surprised and very, very proud for my husband. His work has touched the lives of so many people. He has given people a face and a family to look at who have gone through some of the things they might be going through now. I feel like something good has come from our struggles.”

                Harry grins sheepishly to the floor.

                Cassandra looks to the camera, “Okay so we’re almost done but I just wanted to ask Maddie a few questions if that’s alright with you two?”

                This wasn’t part of the plan, at all. But Liam and Harry share a look together before Harry nods.

                “Sure, go a head,” Harry places his hands on his daughter’s shoulder and whispers to her, “Mads? Cassandra is going to ask you some questions, if that’s alright with you.”

                Maddie smiles at the woman, “Okay!” Cassandra grins as she leans in closer to her.

                “Hello Maddie, you can call me Cass.”

                “Hi Cass.”            

                The woman snickers, “How old are you?”

                “I just turned nine,” she says proudly. Harry and Liam can’t stop smiling.

                “Nine? That’s amazing! What do you like to do for fun?”

                Maddie happily says, “I play soccer! I also like to draw and play video games but dad doesn’t let me play those a lot,” Liam lets out a laugh because it’s true. Maddie’s on a strict limit on computer and video games, “I like to make model airplanes with my papa. I ride bikes with my friends and I like to bake with daddy too.”

                Cassandra shakes her head, “Wow, you must be really busy.” Maddie nods along and Cassandra goes on, “Maddie, can you tell me what you remember of your life before Liam and Harry found you?”

                Liam panics for a moment. Maddie knows she was adopted because she was old enough to know what adoption was. He’s not sure what she’s going to say or react.

                Maddie thinks a for a second, “I wasn’t happy.” She says bluntly. Liam and Harry share worried looks. They weren’t expecting that at as all and it breaks Liam’s heart.

                Cassandra looks shocked as well, “You weren’t happy?” Maddie shakes her had.

                “Before I lived with papa and dad, I lived in another place with other kids like me, kids who didn’t have homes. I liked it there, I had friends and stuff, but it wasn’t my home,” Maddie grins happily, “But when I met papa and dad, I was happy. Being with them makes me happy. I have a home now.”

                Harry blinks away tears and Liam looks over at the crew and sees a few of them are chocking up too.

                “And how are your papa and dad? Are they good parents?” Cassandra asks and Maddie looks too happy to answer this.

                “Oh the best! They let me have sleepovers and dad makes soup when I’m sick and papa helps me with soccer.”

                Cassandra grins, “They really are good parents uh?” Maddie nods proudly and it’s too much for Liam. He has tears welling up in his eyes, “And how is being a big sister to Sammy? Is he a good brother?”

                “Well,” Maddie makes a face, “He’s okay I guess. He cries at night sometimes and he makes a mess and he doesn’t know how to play games the right way,” Harry laughs and shakes his head as he wipes away a stray tear, “but he’s cute and I love him.”

                Cassandra leans back and looks at the camera, “Well there you have it folks: the picture perfect family.”

                Liam doesn’t like that term normally. He thinks it’s too over used sometimes.

                But in this case, when it’s about his family, he couldn’t agree more.

~~~

                _“Maddie? Come here, we want to show you something,” Liam yelled for his daughter._

_“Coming!” she responded. Liam turned to Harry who had on the same worried look that Liam was wearing too._

_“How do you think she’s going to react?” Harry asked the million dollar question. Liam had been thinking the same thing all week._

_“I’m not sure,” Liam admitted. He had his concerns as well. Two weeks before the couple was fine with their one child and weren’t planning on adopting another one._

_But things change. And Harry and Liam found themselves in the process of adopting a beautiful boy._

_But they hadn’t told Maddie that._

_Harry shook his head, “If she doesn’t react well, Liam-we can’t, Li. If she says no, then that’s a sign and we won’t do it.” Liam nodded solemnly. He knew Harry was only looking out for Maddie but Liam felt an instant attachment to the picture of the boy, just like he felt when he first say Maddie. He started picturing the little baby boy in their home and he really wanted to make these visions come true._

_Maddie’s pattering footsteps were heard seconds before the girl bounced into the family room. Her reddish brown curls were wild and free and her wide smile was contagious. Maddie walked over to the couch and sat in between her fathers._

_“What’s up?” she asked curiously._

_Harry answered her, “How’s your homework coming along? Do you need help?” Maddie shook her head._

_“I’m almost done,” Liam smiled tightly._

_“That’s good. Um, Mads. Listen,” the father coughed, “You know how we adopted you, right?” Maddie nodded, her facing full of questions._

_“Yes.”_

_Liam goes on, “And why did we adopt you?”_

_“Because I had no mommy or daddy and you wanted me,” she smiled. Harry nodded happily._

_“That’s right, dear. We loved you and we wanted you to be our daughter,” he assured her before he continued, “Mads, do you remember the other kids that you lived with? How none of them had parents either?”_

_Maddie frowned, “Yeah.”_

_“Well, that’s what we wanted to talk to you about,” Liam said and Maddie’s face fell._

_“You’re not taking me back are you?” she pleaded and Harry gasped at that._

_“Darling, no. Never-we love you, sweetie! We always will and you belong here with us.”_

_“Mads, we could never let you go,” Liam reassured her with a kind smile. Maddie breathed in relief, “It’s just, well. There are still so many other kids that need homes, just like how you needed a home. And we-your dad and I are considering adopting a boy to come live with us.”_

_Maddie was quiet for a while and that made Liam nervous. Finally she said, “So…I’d have a little brother?”_

_“Hmm,” Harry hummed in response and squeezed her shoulder, “and you would be a big sister!”_

_“Can I see him, please?” Maddie begged. Liam chuckled, so relieved that she was taking this well._

_“Sweetie, we haven’t met him yet. We wanted to see if you’re okay with it first that way we could take you with us,” Liam said, and then added, “But we do have a picture of him. Would you like to see-”_

_“Yes!” Maddie shouted and wiggled in the couch with excitement, “Please!”_

_“Okay, okay,” Harry laughed as he reached for his laptop on the coffee table. He opened it up and instantly, the picture of their potential soon-to-be son popped up._

_Liam couldn’t help but smile at the image of the small newborn. He’d seen it a dozen times over the past week or so, but each time he’s taken back but the tiny chubby cheeks. He had the widest eyes and fuzzy wisps of black hair. He was adorable and innocent and helpless and sadly, homeless too. Liam hoped that his family could change that last part._

_“He’s dark,” Maddie said bluntly._

_“Yes he is,” Liam said and then explained, “Remember how people can look different on the outside but we’re all the same on the inside?” Maddie nodded, “Well, the baby has darker skin then we do. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. That’s how he was made, just like how you have hazel eyes and red hair.”_

_“The baby’s perfect the way he is, just like you’re perfect the way you are, Mads,” Harry chimed in softly. Maddie kept her eyes on the picture._

_“What’s his name?”_

_“He doesn’t have one yet,” Liam said, “If we get to keep him, we get to name him as well.”_

_He doesn’t have mommy or a daddy? Or a home? Or even a name?” Maddie asked, her small voice stunned. Harry nodded, his face broken hearted as well._

_“No he doesn’t,” he said and it broke Liam’s heart too._

_Maddie sounded so sure as she said, “Then let’s bring him home!”_

_And it was decided._

~~~

                “Daddy!” Sammy yells up to Harry, arms extended as high as they can go, “Up!”

                Liam watches his husband pick up their son from the sidewalk. Harry looks over to Liam with a near scowl on his face.

                “I told you we should’ve brought the stroller,” Harry tells him matter-of-factly. Liam chuckles.

                “He just likes being held like a baby.”

                “He is a baby!”

                “Harry, darling, he’ll be turning three in the fall.”

                “Don’t say that!”

                “Dad, papa-look!” Maddie excitedly. Liam looks over and-oh no, “Puppy! Papa, look at him! Isn’t he adorable?!” The child squeals at the sight of a Jack Russell terrier being walked by it’s owner, who looks to be a middle aged woman, “Can I pet him, please?” She asks her fathers and Liam shakes his head.

                “Mads, no-”

                “Oh, I don’t mind!” the woman interjects kindly, “I know Oliver loves attention and he’s good with kids.” Harry and Liam reluctantly agree and that makes Maddie very happy. Liam has to admit it, the dog is pretty cute and seems sweet. The dog, or Oliver, lets Maddie pet him behind his ears and the girl fawns over him. Eventually Sammy wants in on the action so he wiggles in Harry’s arms and protests until Harry sets him down beside Maddie and helps him pet the dog.

                “Can we get a dog?” Maddie begs once the woman and he dog have left. The Paynes were finally close to their hotel after a celebratory dinner and an early evening stroll around the city.

                “No,” Harry says flatly.

                “But dad-!”

                “Maddie,” Harry said in a warning tone, “We’re not getting a dog right now and that’s final.”

                The girl pouts and pleas with his fathers until they get to their hotel room. It makes Sammy shout ‘puppy’ and ‘doggie’ every now and then, casing his vote into the conversations as well. They two kids declaring that they want a dog in the bustling city. Great.

                “Madeline,” Liam said sternly once they were in their room, “The answer is no, now stop asking us.”

                “But why can’t we?” Maddie asks.

                “Because,” Harry says from their bed, where he’s starting to remove Sammy out of his day clothes, “Sammy’s small and a dog is an animal. Sometimes animals hurt people without knowing any better and we need to keep Sammy and you safe.”

                Liam adds, “Our minds have been made up, so the decision is final, Maddie. Am I clear?” Maddie drops her head and mumbles.

                “Yes, papa.”

                Harry smiles at her sympathetically, “Come on, Mads. Time for your bath.”

                Within an hour, Maddie’s asleep in her cot and Sammy’s sleeping in the pack and play. Liam and Harry are both tired and decide to call it an early night as well.

                “H?” Liam speaks up, his voice low and timid. Harry looks at him in the mirror and smirks curiously as he brushes his teeth. He spits in the sink and smiles up at Liam.

                “If you’re about to tell me that you too want a damn dog as well, I swear to God Liam James-”

                “It’s not that,” Liam says flatly, his eyes looking away. Harry seems to catch on that this serious.

                “Hey,” he whispers, his arms wrapping around Liam’s neck. It makes Liam look up at Harry and Liam’s not sure if he can handle this, “What’s wrong?”

                Liam sighs, the weight he kept hidden all these years finally lifting off of him, “Sophia was in love with me.”

                It feels so strange to tell his husband this, about another person loving him. Harry doesn’t say anything and lets Liam go on.

                “Remember when she ran out of the surrogacy appointment?” Harry frowns as he nods. Liam sighs and continues, “She told me then, that she loved me and always had, even back in high school. That’s why she changed her mind about being our surrogate. Because I was too dumb to realize any of this and she couldn’t handle the fact that she would have my kid.”

                Harry confesses, “I know.” That makes Liam look at him with a hard expression but Harry just has this coy look on his face. He’s not mad at him, at least not on the surface.

                “H-How?”

                “Sophia wrote a letter to me, a few months after it happened,” Harry says easily, “She figured you told me what happened and that she was very sorry.”

                Liam shakes his head, “I-I didn’t tell you, for years. How are you okay with this?”

                “Li,” Harry sighs and pulls Liam closer to him, “We wanted a kid so desperately and we had a chance but it fell through again. Not because the kid had another family fighting for custody and not because the child had passed away, but because of something that you were involved in. I-I didn’t want to shame you for something that wasn’t for fault so I didn’t say anything to you.”

                Liam sputters, “B-But it wasn’t right! W-we’re married, I should’ve told you this.”

                “You didn’t want to hurt me,” Harry says for Liam and it literally feels like he took the words right out of his mouth. Harry smiles softly up at him, “How could I be angry at you for something like this? It wasn’t your fault Liam and I don’t blame you one bit.”

                Liam’s lip wobbles.

                “Plus,” Harry says, “it doesn’t matter much now anyway, does it? I mean, look what we have. I can’t imagine my life without Sammy and Mads, can you?”

                “No,” Liam shakes his head quickly, a look of horror overtaking him, “God no.”

                Harry smirks, “So everything worked out for the best. How can I be angry over something that happened years ago? We have two beautiful, healthy, wonderful children and we were always supposed to be their parents,” he snickers fondly at Liam, “wasn’t it you who said that this was our destiny?”

                Liam nods and Harry kisses him tenderly.

                “I love you, darling,” Liam tells him, “I don’t deserve you one bit, but I love you with everything I have.”

                Harry scolds him, “Liam James Payne, you are wonderful and amazing. I don’t know what I did to have you and our kids to call my family but I’m so, so incredibly proud to call you my husband.”

                Liam can’t help but hug his husband deeply and kiss him until they’re exhausted and spent. They go to bed and Liam watches his husband as he sleeps. Even when he’s lost in his sleep, Harry still smiles and it’s so, so beautiful. Liam thinks of ways he can show his husband just how much he loves him. He hasn’t done a grand gesture of love for Harry in a bit of time and that needs to change.

                Suddenly an idea strikes his head and Liam’s gears are turning with excitement until he drifts off to sleep with a dreamy smile on his lips.

~~~

                _The adoption process for Samuel was way faster then Maddie’s was._

_Maybe because it was a local adoption. Maybe because he was an infant. Who knows really._

_Harry and Liam were just thankful that they were signing the official adoption papers on the day Sammy turned one month old. As soon as Liam set the pen back on the table, his hand tired from writing his signature and initials over and over again, Harry was handed over their son._

_“I like the name you two picked out for him,” Carol said warmly, “It’s fitting.”_

_“Yeah,” Liam breathed out, “Samuel Edward Payne.”_

_“Sammy, for short,” Harry added on, tears welled up in his eyes._

_Carol smiled, “Do you want me to bring her in?”_

_“Please,” Liam pleaded through his own tears, his hand stroking Sammy’s little forehead. Carol smiled and left the room, the paralegal following close behind. They were finally alone with their new addition and Liam and Harry spent the time eyeing the child closely and planting kisses on his chubby cheeks. Sammy’s dark skin contrasted with the light blue and white stripped onesie he was wearing. They only met him briefly once before and it wasn’t nearly long enough. Now though, Samuel was their son and no one would take him away._

_The door opened and Maddie walked in shyly. Liam smiled at her and walked over to her, his tears freely falling._

_“You’re crying papa,” Maddie noticed, sounding a little scared._

_Liam sniffled, “Nothing’s wrong, Mads. You’re dad and I-we’re just so happy. C’mon, we want you to meet him properly.”_

_They set Maddie down in a chair and gently placed Sammy in her arms and-it was too much. Maddie smiled down at her sleeping brother and whispered sweet things to him. Finally, after so many years of their family feeling incomplete, Liam looked at his whole family and couldn’t help but smile at the three of them._

~~~

                For Liam’s plan to surprise Harry, he needs the best people in his life to help him.

                So he calls his mother during his lunch break a few days after the plan came to him.

                “Liam?” Karen’s voice came over the phone, all bubbly and happy, “How are you dear?”

                “I’m good,” he tells her and grins, “I’m getting Anne on the phone too,” he tells her before ringing up Anne’s cell and making the phone call a conference call.

                “What?! Why? Liam, what’s wrong? Is Harry okay? Are the kids sick?” Karen rambles on nervously and Liam laughs.

                “Mom, everything is fine, I promise you it is,” Liam assures her just as Anne answers her phone.

                “Hello Liam!” her cheerful voice comes over the phone, “How are you dear?”

                “Hi Anne!” Karen chimes in and Anne sounds all too delighted.

                “Oh Karen? You’re on the phone too? We tried your recipe for potato salad a few days ago and it’s amazing! Robin raves on and on about it.”

                Karen preens, “Oh thank you love.”

                “Okay, okay,” Liam says fondly, “I’d love to talk all day but I’m on my lunch so I have to tell you guys something real quick. I need your help, both of you, because I love and trust you both so much.”

                Anne’s tone shifts, “Liam? Is something wrong?”

                “That’s what I’m afraid of too!” Karen admits grimly.

                “Mom, Anne-please. This is a very, very good thing and I need you guys to help me pull this off,” Liam them while smirking.

                “Pull what off?!” the moms say in union. Liam’s grin widens as he tells them his plan.

                By the time his lunch ends, Liam’s got two weeping mothers on the phone and along with their eagerness to help.

~~~

                “We should go on a vacation,” Liam prompts coyly to Harry one night in bed a month later. Summer has officially began and Maddie’s home now. She spends her days at soccer summer camp or with Harry or her friends at the community pool. Liam wishes things weren’t so busy now at work but he’s piling it on now. Especially since he’s planning this huge surprise for Harry, he’s been working over time with Karen and Anne to get everything finalized. And it’s been stressful but so, so worth it because he wants this and he knows Harry’s going to love it.

                Harry puts his book of poetry down on his lap and frowns at Liam, “What?”

                “A vacation. You, me and the kids-the whole family. We should just go there and stay a couple of weeks,” Liam says casually but he desperately hopes that Harry will agree, or he’s whole plan will fall through.

                “Can we really afford that?” Harry asks and Liam snickers.

                “Darling, you know we can,” Liam tells him surely, “Your book is extremely well and I got a hefty raise not too long ago. We’ve stuck to our budget for ages now so we have money to treat ourselves, so we should.”

                Harry grins and muses, “Where would we even go, hm?”

                “I was thinking the Florida Keys,” Liam sighs dreamily, “It’s technically in the country but it’ll feel like we’re in another world. Sandy beaches, colorful buildings, cute beach towns, lots of sun.” Harry smiles wistfully.

                “That does sound nice,” he confesses, “But, when would we even go? I have that book tour starting in the fall and you’ve been busy with work.”

                Liam shrugs, “How about next week?” Harry’s eyes bug out.

                “Next week?!” Harry parrots, “But-how are we supposed to plan an entire vacation in a week? Where would we stay and what would we do and when and-”

                “I got it all figured out, babe,” Liam tells him. Harry’s gaze softens.

                “What? Y-You planned a vacation for us?”

                Liam grins slyly, “I did. I booked our hotel and got our plane tickets,” he runs his hand in Harry’s hair and smiles fondly, “We just need to go out and get new swimsuits for the kids…and I could use a new one too.”

                Harry blinks at his husband, “We’re really doing this? We’re really going on vacation next week?”

                “For two weeks,” Liam tells him, swiftly kissing Harry’s shoulder, “just our family and some sunshine. How does that sound darling?”

                Harry turns and kisses the top of Liam’s head, “Amazing,” he breathes out, “Thank you Liam. Thank you so much.”

                “It’s nothing love,” Liam snuggles his husband and kisses Harry’s chest. Liam’s all too happy to text his mom and mother in law that they’re officially on for the surprise in the morning. But for now, he settles for Harry stroking his hair until he falls asleep.

~~~

                Before he knows it, Liam’s stepping out of their rental car and into the blazing hot Florida sun. Their hotel is just as large and tropical looking as it looked online. It’s gorgeous here and Liam is beyond excited for the days to come.

                The mission to surprise Harry has officially begun.

                “Liam Payne,” Harry breathes out as he comes up beside him with Sammy in his arms, “This is-Liam, this is too much.”

                “No it’s not,” Liam scoffs at him, “We haven’t gone on a vacation in ages. We deserve this.”

                Harry grins bashfully.

                “Pa!” Maddie runs up to him, “Where’s the pool? You said we can go swimming!”

                Liam laughs and shakes his head, “We need to check in first, Mads. And then we need to unpack and then we can go swimming, okay?” Maddie pouts, but agrees.

                Their hotel suite (“A SUITE?!”Harry whisper-yelled at Liam when he found that out) overlooks the Florida coastline and faces the west, the perfect view for the sunset. Their room has two bedrooms and two nice sized bathrooms, a large living area, and a kitchenette as well. Harry is speechless as he looks around their room.

                “Liam!” Harry gasps in the kitchen and yells, “There’s a waffle maker in here!”

                Liam laughs, “Oh good! Maddie will love that.”

                Harry walks back into their bedroom, his expression in awe as he looks at his husband, “Li, darling. This is all,” he stops and sighs, a beyond excited smile taking over his lips, “Thank you, Li. Thank you so much!”

                Liam laughs as he gladly accepts Harry in his arms, “I just want this to be a vacation we’ll never forget,” he tells him honestly.

                “It will be,” Harry say naïvely. He has no idea what’s coming but Liam hopes Harry will like everything that will happen on this vacation. He really hopes so.

~~~

                Five days into their vacation and the entire family has soaked in the Florida sun and are relaxed and happy.

                It’s been an incredible vacation, if Liam were to say so. They’ve been to the beach everyday. They’ve got to live concerts at a park near by. They’ve gone to a carnival and a water park as well. Sammy has slowly started learning how to swim with the help of floaties, which excites his fathers. Maddie’s woken up every morning excited for new adventures and fun in the sun. They’ve build three large sandcastles on this vacation and Sammy’s destroyed every single one of them but it’s okay really.

                Because Liam’s taken hundreds of pictures of his husband and kids smiling on this vacation.

                Liam’s phone dings beside him and picks it up. Harry’s holding onto Sammy in the pool and moving him around gently in the water. Liam smiles from his spot in a chair along the pool, where he has the perfect view of Maddie splashing around Harry and Sammy.

                Liam reaches over and smiles at his phone when he sees the texts from his mom and Anne:

                _We’re here! Xxx ;)_

                Liam smiles at the message and types back a message to them excitedly.

                Everything’s falling into place.

                “What are you doing, papa?” Liam looks up from his phone to find Maddie looking at him curiously.

                And he knows he needs to tell her about his plan.

                So Liam does tell her about his grandiose plan while Harry’s in the restroom and Liam’s holding Sammy by the pool. Maddie’s excited and beyond thrilled for the surprise but Liam makes her promise him she won’t tell anyone. Maddie crosses her heart and promises not to tell dad and agrees to go along with Liam’s plans.

                Sammy squeals happily at the secret plotting.

~~~

                Harry’s walking, or perhaps skipping, to the hotel restaurant to meet up the rest of his family.

                This vacation has been a dream come true for Harry. The weather’s been perfect, the kids are having so much and Liam-God, Liam’s been just an angel for planning all this. They went snorkeling earlier today! Harry’s always wanted to go snorkeling and Liam’s known this and he made it happen for Harry.

                Harry’s already planning a million ways to thank Liam.

                They just need to get the house to themselves for a little bit…

                Liam’s outside the restaurant and Harry’s excited to see him, “Li, I don’t know what you’re talking about! The camera wasn’t back in our room-I looked everywhere. Are you sure it’s not in the rental?”

                Harry finally looks up to his husband and his face drops. Liam is oddly somber and he’s pacing, Liam just doesn’t pace.    

                “Li?” Harry asks, “What’s wrong?” Harry looks around and he starts to panic, “Wait-where’s Maddie? And Sammy? Li, where’s our kids?!”

                Liam heaves, “H, I-I, I dunno what-I got a call from work and I. I told Maddie to stay with Sammy and the stroller-”

                “Oh my God,” Harry breaths out, a sick feeling talking over him, “You, you lost our kids?”

                Liam shrugs helplessly, “Babe, I’m sorry-”

                “Did you look for them?” Harry asks harshly. Liam nods.

                “Yeah, yeah-Of course I looked for our kids Harry!”

                Harry shakes his head and his feet begin to move, “Where? We need to look again. This could be Maddie just wondering off.”

                “Harry, baby, I’m sorry,” Liam pleas.

                “No, not now. W-We need to find our k-kids,” Harry’s voice breaks at that point. It took them forever to have their family and he’ll be damned if anything happens to his kids.

                “Right, yes,” Liam says quickly. Both of them briskly walk down a hall of the hotel, Harry looks around every decorative bush and corner. But he doesn’t see his kids and Harry’s anxiety is spiking fast. God, he can’t imagine what Maddie must be going through. She must be so scared! And Sammy, poor little Sammy probably has no idea what’s going on either.           

                Harry feels sick.

                “I didn’t check in there!” Liam tells Harry, pointing to a large double door that looks like it leads into a conference room. Yeah, maybe Maddie is playing and she went in there and took Sammy too.

                Harry runs to the door and pushes it open.

                “SURPRISE!”

                Harry stumbles back in shock and looks around the room.

                Instead of just finding his kids safe and sound in the room, which he does, the room also has some other familiar places.

                His mom is there in the front, along with his stepdad Robin. Liam’s parents are here as well, and Gemma and her husband and their kids. Nicola and Ruth are there too, with their families and Niall’s there too. And there all smiling at him and Harry has no clue what’s going on.

                “I-I, What?!” Harry stutters, God, there must be at least twenty people in the room, all of which are his friends and family. And he has no idea why they’re here.

                Until Liam’s cough beside him takes Harry’s attention.

                Liam’s down on one knee, and beaming up at Harry.

                Harry gasps, “L-Li?”

                “Harry,” Liam replies, almost mockingly, and takes Harry’s shaking hands in his own. Liam sighs fondly up at him, “Oh darling. I promised you ten years ago after we got married for the first time that I would give you the wedding of your dreams,” Liam sighs, and his lips wobble and his eyes shine brightly as he tells Harry, “Well, babe. It’s about time I fulfilled that.”

                Harry sniffles, “Li.”

                “You’ve been the most amazing, loving husband anyone could ask for,” Liam says as his voice cracks, “And I just hope I’ve been good enough for you too.”

                Harry wants to assure him that yes-Liam’s been an incredible partner and he can’t ever see his life without Liam. But he can’t tell him that, because the emotion is too strong and he has tears slipping down his cheek.

                “Part of me thinks I got lucky the first time I asked you to marry me. You somehow agreed to marry me of all people,” Harry hears people snickering in the room and he’s reminded that they’re not alone. But it feels like they are, Harry’s lost in Liam and the rest of the world doesn’t exist, “So I’m taking my chances again and asking you to do it again. I want us to recommit ourselves to this marriage and all the wonderful things it has brought us. I want to remind you that you are my everything and I adore you and I will move mountains to make you happy, darling. I want you to know that I am committed to you and our wonderful kids and our marriage and I’ll never, ever forget how lucky I am to have you.”

                Harry sobs quietly, his knees buckling, “L-Li.”

                Liam finally takes pity on him and asks fondly, “Harry, my darling, will you marry me again?”

                “Yes!” Harry says and nods quickly. The room around them breaks into cheers as Liam swoops Harry up in his arms and spins him around. Harry’s shaking and in shock but it’s the best feeling in the world.

                Well, second best feeling to his kids and family hugging him and congratulating them.

                “You knew?!” Harry yells at his mom and Karen. God, they’re crying along with Harry and they probably look like a mess but Harry doesn’t care. He’s too happy, way happier then any person should be.

                Anne nods and laughs, “Of course we did! Who do you think helped Liam plan your vow renewals?”

                Harry stares at them, “Wait…” Harry breathes out, turning to Liam, “Just, when are we getting married again, Liam?” Liam makes a coy face before replying.

                “Tomorrow,” he tells him and Harry’s eyes bug out, “This is kinda our rehearsal dinner party, minus the rehearsal.”

                “You planned an entire wedding in a month?!” Harry says

                “It was more like six weeks,” Liam says with ease, a stupidly happy smile laced on his lips.

                 “But, how? I don’t-how?” Harry babbles.

                Liam shrugs, “It doesn’t matter. You’re finally gonna have that dream wedding of yours. All you have to do is show up.”

                Harry shakes his head, “B-But I didn’t pack a suit!”

                “We covered that, dear,” Karen tells him sweetly, “Anne and I brought a suit for you and Liam and even Sammy. We also brought one a dress for Maddie, too.”

                “I don’t-”

                “Niall’s your best man, by the way,” Liam chimes in happily, “And Louis’ mine, though he hasn’t really done sh-uh, I mean, nothing for this wedding.”

                “Louis’ here?” Harry asks and looks around for him. He finds Louis in the corner, talking to Liam’s sisters with his wife Eleanor proudly by his side and their twin girls, Jane and Jessa, in their arms, “Oh my God! We haven’t seen Louis since his wedding!”

                “Oh trust me! He reminded me of that plenty of times when I asked him to be my best man,” Liam chuckles, “I had to promise him that we’d get together more.”

                Harry shakes his head at the people in the room, “I seriously can’t believe this is all happening.”

                “Well it is babe,” Liam says to him, “so let’s enjoy it.”

                Harry smirks and pecks Liam’s lips softly, “I love you.”

                “I love you too babe,” Liam winks at him.

                Harry spends the night catching up with old friends and trying to process everything. The more he talks to his loved ones, the more Harry realizes that this is actually happening. Liam actually planned another wedding for him. He planned a crazy scheme to get their families and friends to Key West without telling Harry. He learns that the ceremony will be on the beach and Maddie will be their flower girl and Sammy is the ring barer.

                Liam looks excited all night, like tomorrow is Christmas or something. And when Harry accepts that this is really truly happening and that he’s not dreaming, he starts to feel giddy and excited too.  

                At the end of the night, Ruth is pulling on Liam’s sleeve to go to her room to stay the night, because even though they’re getting married a second time, the whole rule about Harry and Liam not seeing each other still applies. But Liam is persistent and keeps trying to stay with Harry and the kids.

                “Night Mads,” Liam kisses his daughter’s scalp. He looks at her firmly, “Now, you be good for dad, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” Maddie rubs her eyes and nods, a yawn escaping her.

                Liam turns to Sammy, who’s sleeping on Anne’s shoulder. Liam pets his son’s fluffy hair and cooes as he kisses his cheek, “Night little man. Papa loves you and Mads so much.”

                Anne takes the children into Harry and Liam’s suite. Harry and Liam stare at each other awkwardly. Harry doesn’t know what to say to him; Liam’s rendered him speechless.

                “Come on, Liam!” Ruth complains, “Aiden’s tired, I’m tired-”

                “Roo, can you um, give us some privacy please?” Harry asks shyly. Roo looks unsure so Harry tells her, “I promise to make sure Liam gets to your room.” Roo nods and leaves them alone.

                Liam grins like a fool at Harry and Harry scoffs.

                “You’re unbelievable,” Harry tells him, voice full of adoration. Liam chuckles and shrugs his shoulders.  

                “In a good way?” he asks playfully. Harry smiles and kisses him swiftly.

                When Harry pulls back, he tells his husband, “In the best way.”

                Liam goes shy, “I just, you’ve been incredible and I wanted to do something for you.”

                “A card would’ve sufficed,” Harry says with a smirk. Liam scoffs.

                “Why couldn’t you tell me that before?!” Harry snickers and strokes Liam’s hair.

                “But,” Harry says softly, his eyes locking with Liam’s, “This is amazing too. Like, I’ll never ever, ever be able to top this.”

                Liam rolls his eyes, “Darling you don’t need to. I wanted to renew our vows as well, so really this is all just a selfish plot disguised as a good deed for you.” Harry grins and leans in closer, his mouth brushing over Liam’s birthmark on his neck.

                “So, if this is our second wedding,” Harry muses lowly, “Do we get a second honeymoon too?”

                Liam gulps as Harry places open mouth kisses on Liam’s neck, “W-We um. Our parents are gonna take the kids for a few days,” Liam sucks in a deep breath as Harry’s teeth nibbles on Liam’s jawline, “I-I’ve rented a bungalow on the beach for us. We can do whatever we want.”

                “Hmm,” harry hums happily and whispers into Liam’s skin, “ _Anything_ we want?” Harry challenges and Liam whines, his hips stirring against Harry’s.

                “H-Harry.”

                Harry goes on, “Can’t wait to thank you properly,” Harry tells him, “I You blew my mind tonight but,” Harry leans up so his lips are pressed against Liam’s ear, “I’m gonna blow your mind several times on our honeymoon.”

                “Fuck,” Liam breathes out, his hands moving to grip onto Harry. But Harry steps back, a mocking grin on his lips.

                “Ah, ah, ah,” Harry tuts, “We can’t do anything, Li. Not before our wedding day.”

                Harry takes a few steps down the hall towards their room.

                “Hey!” Liam’s disgruntled cry gets Harry’s attention. Liam’s forehead is deeply wrinkled in distress and he’s pouting like a child, “Not cool.”

                Harry laughs fondly at him and then grows impossibly soft as he tells him, “See you at the alter, Li.” Liam beams at that.

                “I’ll be there darling.”

~~~

                The ceremony was lovely, lovelier then Harry could ever try imagining. He walks towards Liam on an aisle made of sand and peachy colored rose petals. The ocean roars up the shore a few feet behind the alter and the sun is perfectly warm and sunny. It’s a gorgeous day for a such a beautiful wedding. Anne cries happily as she walks Harry down the aisle towards Liam. Liam’s standing at the end of the aisle, under a wooden archway with colorful flowers and vines wrapped around it. Louis is standing beside him and holds Sammy in his arms. Niall is on the other end of the archway, smiling stupidly, and keeps Maddie by his side.

                Liam and Harry are wearing sand colored slacks with a white button up shirt. Harry thinks Liam looks handsome but Liam tells Harry, when he gladly takes him from Anne, that Harry looks stunning. Harry blushes at the words and takes Liam’s hands.

                They promise their futures to each other again. They promise to continue to be each other’s rock when need be. They promise to be with each other and chose each other and their family over anything else in the world. They promise to love each other for the rest of their lives and Harry knows that he intends to keep these promises and knows that Liam will too.

                Harry is handed a small bracelet by Niall when it’s time to exchange rings. Harry looks at it and it makes him tear up because the bracelet has a diamond shaped charm hanging off of it and there are four different colored stones on it. Harry knows it’s his family’s birthstones-amethyst for himself, topaz for Sammy, diamond for Maddie and peridot for Liam. Its way better then exchanging rings, as it is a promise to commit to their family as a whole and not just each other.

                The ceremony ends with a sweet kiss and thunderous cheers from their loved ones. There are lots and lots of tears, as to be expected, and Harry can’t imagine having his dream wedding any other way. They pose for pictures; just the two of them and then later on with the kids and then rest of their families and then with friends. Harry wants a ton of pictures to look back on this day and be reminded of it.

                Later on at the reception, the DJ calls Liam and Harry to the dancefloor for their first dance. As Liam drags Harry to the floor, the familiar introduction chords come over the speakers and he grins foolishly as Liam pulls him into his arms and they begin to dance.

                _“The night we met I knew I needed you so. And if I had the chance I’d never let you go.”_

                Harry laughs, his eyes crinkled in delight, “Of course you’d pick this song,” he says fondly. Liam smirks.

                “Well, it is our song,” Liam leans in and kisses Harry’s cheek, “After all these years, it’s still our song.”

                Harry bites his lip, “Yeah, it is.”

                In the beginning, the song meant something different for Harry.

                He just thought of the song was meant for a couple and never thought of it as anything else.

                But as the song leads up to the chorus now, Maddie comes up to the dancing floor and has Sammy moving around in her slender arms and Harry realizes that the song’s meaning has changed for him. It’s still Liam and Harry’s song, but it’s also Maddie’s and Sammy’s song too.

                Harry had looked for ages to find a child, a baby to call his own. And now, looking at his family, he realizes it’s their family song now too. So of course Maddie and Sammy want to dance to it along with their dad and papa.

                Harry takes Sammy from Maddie and Liam hoists Maddie up on his back. Liam wraps one arm around Harry’s back and Maddie touches Harry’s neck to keep him close. Sammy squeals and shirks and hits Liam in the face and they all laugh. Harry grins as he finally has all his babies close to him and there’s nothing else Harry could ever want or need.

                They dance together to their song.

                _“Be my little baby. Save me my darling. Be my baby now.”_

_FIN_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!  
> I can't believe people actually read my stories and take time out of their lives to read something I wrote. Thank you so much for reading this and leaving incredible messages and being just amazing. I love you all.  
> **Special thanks to my beta, Skyler, or puckeruppayno on tumblr! She's read most of this story and I couldn't have done this without her!**  
> ****PLEASE LEAVE KUDOS AND NICE COMMENTS PLEASE!****  
> Check out my main blog on tumblr, teatimetommo, as well as my writing blog on tumblr, thequietquill for updates on what I'm working on!  
> Love you all, take care! :))


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